第二轮全场最高票295，她走出新的赛道就是怼自己的孩子，最萌身高差妻子170丈夫158！|【脱口秀和Ta的朋友们 第二季】 #脱口秀和Ta的朋友们第二季 #Stand-up Comedy2
Hello everyone, my name is Xiaoxue. Let me introduce myself first. I am a middle-aged sister from Beijing and the mother of two children. One of my two children is a girl and the other is a girl . The eldest is 7 years old this year and the second is 2 years old. But I found that being with children really makes me younger. You see, I become like my grandson every day. In our home with two children, let me talk about the floor. Every day the eldest comes back and kicks her dirty shoes on the ground. I have to pick up the shoes , wash them and put them back in place. The second child throws all the toys that have been chewed in his mouth on the ground. I have to pick up the toys, wash them and put them back in place . The eldest and the second child use my husband’s toothbrush to brush the floor and play with them. I pick them up and put them back in place. Well , not to mention being tired, the key point is that the two children are always crying . In Beijing dialect, “zizizi” means “zizizi”. Do you know what it means? It’s the kind of crying that happens when they are always crying. The second child cries adorably. Once she cried so badly. Do you know why she was crying? She cried because her five fingers were not the same length. She cried for half an hour and almost cried herself to death. Then I could only stay by her side. You wait until the child’s emotions are stable, and then you can talk to her properly. I said, “Child, look, her toes are not the same length.” The eldest child also cried, her father refused to perform for her , refused to perform for her the show of jumping from the ninth floor. I said, child, how old are you now ? Why doesn’t your father want to perform for you ? Don’t you know why? It’s because your father doesn’t love you enough. When there are more children and they cry again, it will spread from person to person. Once, the eldest child cried again and her glass broke. I said, “Don’t cry, you can imagine it as broken into pieces.” She said, “My cup is gone.” I said, ” The old doesn’t go, the new doesn’t come, and you have a new cup. ” When the second child heard that her sister had a new cup, she started crying. I had to coax her and I said, “I’ll change her cup for her too.” When the eldest child heard that her cup was not broken, she gave her another cup. The eldest child started crying again. Now just close your eyes and think about this “zizizi”. Does your head hurt? That feeling is like the sound of monkeys on both sides of the river. The only way to stop children from crying is to let them play with toothbrushes again. Something more lively is coming later. My husband fell and was slightly injured . His leg was a small comminuted fracture. The eldest child was very sensible and told me, “Mom This is called “broken peace”. I said your dad almost fell to death. This is called “the old doesn’t go, the new doesn’t come” . I have a new dad. When the second child heard that her sister was going to have a new dad, I had to coax the second child. I said I would also give you a new dad . When the eldest child heard that the second child’s dad was not dead , he started to make noises again . I was so angry that I said no one would change the dad and the dad was still the same. The two children didn’t cry. When I thought about it, it was still the same. I started to think again, so the two children have good personalities. They cry when they want to cry and laugh when they want to laugh . Their mouths are never idle . In our personality e (extrovert) person i (introvert) person studies , what is this considered? This is considered an e (extrovert) person , right? Then , I will tell you about the extreme of personality and my i (introvert) person. My husband is a very, very introverted person. In fact, I talked to you about this in the last issue. My husband and I are still a good match. We have the cutest height difference in everyone’s eyes. My height is 1.70 meters and his height is exactly 1.58 meters. This is a true story . We were on a blind date. At that time, others introduced Because we were both older , we met on a blind date. The first time we met, he looked down on me. He looked down on my brothers and sisters on the second floor. Did you hear that? He looked down on me . He said his ideal partner was a petite wife. I said, forget it. You are 5 feet 40 inches tall. What do you want from finding a petite wife ? You two can get free tickets to the park. It was our first date. When we were having dinner, I found that this person was really quiet. Let’s say normally, when we eat and order food, you have to call the waiter, right? He doesn’t open his mouth to call . Guess how he calls . He uses his hands to wave, and if the waiter doesn’t come, he can just keep waving like that quietly. I was so anxious at the time. I said, “You are 5 feet 40 inches tall, and no one can see you even if you jump up and shout. Just wave like that. ” I said, “If we are on fire right now, a big fire, will you also call people like that?” He said, “No, he won’t. He definitely won’t. He will wave quickly.” Someone said, “Sister, why are you looking for him when he is like this?” That’s it. Although he doesn’t like to talk , there is one good thing about him, which is that he listens to me. You see, when I gave birth to our first child, my husband was allowed to accompany me in the delivery room. I said, I said, opportunity It’s rare. We can either use your mobile phone and you use your mobile phone to record a video for me so that we can keep it as a souvenir. Are you really obedient ? I really recorded it. But at that time, I thought giving birth was simple. Do you know how much the eldest child in our family weighed when he was born? He landed at 10 kilograms. Some young people may not have a specific concept of 10 kilograms. I specifically checked on the Internet. I asked Baidu what the weight of a child is equivalent to. It told me that it is equivalent to the weight of a child. It is very difficult to give birth. The old man really listened to me. I asked him to record it. He stood opposite me and next to the doctor , holding up his mobile phone and quietly recording. The doctor was so scared by the silence that people who didn’t know thought it was a family member who came to collect evidence. The doctor couldn’t stand it and said, “Your wife gave birth for two hours. Talk to her about what you want to say most. You have to be reminded by others before you react. Hurry up and come to my side and ask me, ” Do you have a power bank?” Between saving the big and the small, he chose to save the power bank. But you said that although he doesn’t like to talk , he speaks from his heart. He cares about this family. This is the truth. Once he came back from work He took out something wrapped in toilet paper from his pocket, with three layers inside and three layers outside. It was wrapped very carefully. I said something. When he opened it, he saw three big cherries inside. A colleague in his unit bought the top-quality high-end cherries. He bought a big box and distributed it to the whole unit. He gave three of them to me but couldn’t bear to eat them. When I saw it, I thought, how nice it would be if I could marry that colleague. So actually, I think there is no such thing as a perfect match in marriage. It doesn’t matter if God gave me such a mini version. It doesn’t matter if he is not tall or if he doesn’t like to talk. What matters is whether this person has you in his heart . I don’t need a giant in words and a dwarf in actions. What I want is that I can act as a dwarf in words. And in our family, I don’t need a giant. In our family, I can stand tall by myself. In the future, I can bring out two little giants. I am Xiaoxue. Thank you all for the championship. She has been polished so maturely. Xiaoxue’s ticket locking channel is open. Applause to Xiaoxue again. I don’t know what happened. Compared with the first round, some of our actor friends in the second round have been replaced. I ‘m so happy. I didn’t expect this today and I think it’s quite difficult to talk about because they are all about my husband and children at home. I think it’s hard to say something new or interesting. But I don’t know what happened today. Anyway, I feel that every part is very well done and it’s so funny, especially the one about the power bank. She went crazy right from the start because others usually talk about the cute things about their own children, but she kept talking about her own children. Your husband must be very happy to hear this. He is 1.58 meters tall, right ? He jumped up and was 1.6 meters tall. It’s great. Xiaoxue, do you think the second round is completely different from the first round? No, these two manuscripts are about my children, both are about two kids (children) . This is 3 kids (children). This manuscript is great . How did you think that you want to write something, but you start talking about your own children ? How come? This angle is too Beijing. I still like children very much. I know you like them . No one thinks you don’t like them. I just said that the attitude is just teasing. Only those who really like children can say it. Just now , there was some problem with Mr. Luo Yonghao’s light. Mr. Luo Yonghao almost smashed the light. It was really because he wanted to take a picture of you. He was so anxious that he lost his manners and got mad at the staff because I had to take a picture of the light before the end to express my respect. Because there were several points connected to that joke, I had to take a picture. That section was great. Mr. Luo kept watching the light. Normally, I would take pictures at the end, but hers was enough for two scenes. It was too wonderful , but it was too dense and too advanced. Then she blackened her husband to death and made him fall into pieces throughout the whole process . But there was no sensationalism at the end. We still felt that kind of strong affection and love instantly . I was especially happy for Xiaoxue because we met outside just before the game. She was very worried and asked me what to do. She said it seemed like she was under a lot of pressure. Because she also understands that in the current aesthetics of the talk show stage, people seem to have some concerns in their hearts when they hear a woman talk about her family and husband. It’s as if some shackles on female talk show performers have been broken and then some new ones come up saying that you’d better not talk about this. So I’m especially happy for Xiaoxue today that you have blazed a trail that allows you to talk. I hope to hear you talk more . It’s great . Before she finished her performance, the four lights of the Laughter Friends Group on the field were all on. All out of control . It must be out of control. The word out of control is so right. It’s so good. So let’s see if Xiaoxue can advance directly on this basis. The four lights from the Laughter Friends Group and 40 votes are full, like my age. Let’s see if Xiaoxue can advance directly. She’ll go in directly. She ‘ll definitely go in. She’ll go in directly. She’ll go in directly . The highest of the audience . This is the highest, the highest, the first female actress to advance directly. Congratulations to Xiaoxue for advancing directly . She’s also the contestant with the highest number of votes among all the contestants so far. Xiaoxue