最怕rapper唱情歌，哈哈曹的抽象情书逗笑全场！|【脱口秀和Ta的朋友们 第二季】 #脱口秀和Ta的朋友们第二季 #Stand-up Comedy2
Hello everyone, I’m Haha Cao. A while ago , a big thing happened in my family. What was it? When we were cleaning, my wife found a love letter in my old schoolbag . What’s that expression ? A prince cannot be loved by anyone, right? Of course, it’s not a love letter in the traditional sense. When I was in adolescence, I had a classmate who asked me if I had never received a love letter. I said, “Yeah,” and she said, “Then I’ll write you one tomorrow and you should write me one tomorrow. ” This doesn’t feel like a love letter. It’s more like a courtesy. When I was in adolescence , no one actually called me a handsome guy. They all called me a fat guy, even though there were fatter kids in my class. But I was assigned the nickname Fat Brother , so I thought that no one would really write me a love letter. I was very worried. So I wrote it the next day. She received my love letter and pretended to be surprised. She said thank you Fat Brother , thank you for your love. But I still wanted to focus on my studies. I was afraid that she would do this to Fat Brother and turn me into a passionate Fat Brother. In order not to affect her studies , I would have to transfer to another school. I still thought too bad of people. None of this happened. The next day I received this love letter, the only one I have ever received in my life. She folded the letter into a small square with flowers, the sun , and clouds drawn on the cover . She wrote a line of small words in blue pen. She wrote that she wanted to pack up the blue sky and white clouds and send them to me. Actually, you said that if you sent this thing , it would be hard for me to prove that I didn’t receive it. You said that this was not practical, so just send these things. Her letter was quite romantic. She said that she liked to listen to the sound of my voice when I spoke. I can’t go on if you do this. She said that my voice is attractive and she hopes to hear my voice every day. If you do this, there’s another big one. I’ll tell you. She also wrote that she liked to watch me sleeping on the table during class . She liked to look at my pouting lips. She said that my lips were dry and she didn’t know how to kiss them. What does it feel like to go to the letter? Actually, I didn’t dare to believe it completely because it was written a little humorously, but I didn’t throw it away . I kept the blue sky and white clouds in my schoolbag. It has been almost 20 years. I have always regarded it as proof that someone loved me until I learned to love and be loved. Until my wife found it. We were doing a big cleaning at home. I put a garbage bag on the coffee table. My wife put the envelope on the coffee table. It was obviously a small letter. I felt a thump. She asked me what it was. Wait a minute, I’ll get you a lipstick. I see that your lips are a little dry. Husband , when a cat catches a mouse, it won’t straighten it. It has to play with it before it can be eaten . I definitely can’t tell her the truth. I said this is the only love letter I have received in my life . This is the proof that I was loved during my adolescence . I definitely can’t tell her this. At that time, I really wanted to destroy the evidence . I said I don’t know what this is. These potato chips, please have some. Don’t chat or share some Lays? The thin and crispy chips are Lays’s new garlic flavor “garlic”. I beg you , let’s talk about Lays, okay? Later, she broke the awkwardness first. She said it seemed like a love letter. I said I remembered that there was such a letter. I had found it before. I wanted to throw it away at that time, but I couldn’t find a trash can. Then I My wife asked me a question that only a woman who has watched “The Legend of Zhen Huan” 70 times can ask. She asked me at that time whether I should keep it or not. My first reaction at that time was that I could keep it, so I wanted to frame it at home. Later I realized that I couldn’t keep it. I was quite straightforward. I tore it up in front of her. I tore it into pieces to the extent that I was sure that I couldn’t put it back together even if I went to the trash can at night. My wife is so cute. She even said that it would be a bad idea to tear it up . She just said that since the person was standing there motionless and didn’t stop me, I felt that I really had to make a break with the past. I realized at that time that it was a Young people’s love is no longer a multiple-choice question, it is a proof question. I have to tear up this certificate that I have been loved to prove that I love her. Seeing my wife so happy, I feel that everything is really worth it. It’s just a love letter. It’s okay to tear it up. Anyway, I have memorized it. Later, when we talked about this matter, she said that there is really no need to tear it up. You can really keep it. I asked her again , what would you do if I found your love letter one day? She said you can’t find it. When I was talking about this manuscript, I actually had concerns . I was not worried that everyone would think that my wife and I have a bad relationship. What I am most worried about is that if my boyfriend I saw this segment on TV. In the classmate group that had been silent for more than ten years, she tagged me and said, “Fat brother, you won’t take it seriously, right?” Thank you everyone. I am the sentimental fat brother. Thank you everyone for seizing the last voting time to cast your precious votes for Haha Cao’s performance. Haha Cao’s locked vote channel is open. Because I love Haha Cao too much , I like him very much . But the whole process sounded warm, cute , and a little sad. Then it was that kind of sour and sweet story, a sour and sweet story, because at the beginning, I just talked about your expressions and feelings. We all felt that energy. It was very cute. Teacher Luo was very happy to hear it. Here It’s because I was sitting here just now and kept thinking about the script. If it wasn’t for someone as cute as you who is popular with the audience, others might find it a bit disgusting when they hear it. But the way you were telling it was so harmonious and endearing. I really think the density of the jokes is not enough. Because you have the qualities that endear you, and this can easily touch people’s hearts , so everyone enjoyed listening to it . And just now, when Teacher Lu Yu and I looked at each other, we didn’t say anything, but our eyes should have been the same. I felt that 3 lights were more appropriate , and 4 lights would be a little worse. Then I hesitated for a long time and thought that I should still be the bad guy. So I believe that many people will like this when it is broadcast, haha. Cao said that the fat guy didn’t look like a dad , and there were no lights. Is it because the topic he was talking about is too far away from his age ? A barrage above said that it was exactly the same as what I thought. It’s very interesting to share a piece of knowledge with you . There is a song that you can search online. The name of the song is “Cold Lover”, right? Thank you Cool lover. “Cold Lover” is sung by a famous rapper. This person is Haha Cao. It’s about a person who has a conflict with his lover. He is very painful and then he tells his lover all his inner thoughts. But I never thought in my life that I would hear the words “snail noodles” in a love song. He wrote that I was worried that a motorcycle would hit you. I was sitting in the snail noodle shop, smoking one cigarette after another. There is no smoking indoors at the door. We don’t smoke indoors in Changsha. I said it wrong. Then he kept sending you text messages and WeChat. Come and repeat it to us or sing a part. Come and sing a part. Rapper, sing a part . When was this song released ? I am really grateful for last year’s show. In the first episode, didn’t I talk about myself as a rapper? After that, Tencent Music and QQ Music came to our studio to sign our album . Studio, yes 歌曲： 歌手 徐志摩 歌手 徐志摩 歌手 徐志摩 歌手 徐志摩 歌手 徐志摩 歌手 徐志摩 主 imperative 分享 举报 【 徐志摩 官方 专辑 ： This was the first song I wrote at that time. Can we listen to a clip of it? This is also a rap , right? Good dry singing, right? Because rap requires a cappella. A cappella. Let’s do a clip of it, right? It’s raining outside the window. I hope you’re thinking of me like I am. I ‘m catching a plane in the morning through the clouds. I want to see you. I need courage. I’ve got a burning heart. You said a few words . I’m playing a comedy in a tragedy . I did n’t chase you this time. I watched your back slowly fade away. My heart was broken. I was worried that the electric bike would hit you. I can’t remember how many times I’ve seen your cool back . I was sitting in a snail noodle shop, smoking a cigarette. It ‘s not Mr. Lu Yu ‘s fault if I didn’t write it clearly. It’s you who didn’t write it clearly. I was sitting at the door of the snail noodle shop. It didn’t achieve the effect I expected . Maybe I didn’t do it the best. I like to talk on stage. I like to talk about my friends , my wife , and my children. When I talk, I feel that although we are far apart, Changsha is far from Shanghai , but at that moment she is by my side again. It feels pretty good. Haha. When Cao was acting, I might be the one who shed tears throughout the whole show. And his words He kept poking me and said that now he knew that love is not a choice, but a proof . Haha, this article is different. It’s not the kind of article that makes you laugh out loud, it’s not the kind of article that makes you explode, it’s the kind of article that makes you read the whole time with a smile . I like it very much, I like it very much, and I have received it many times. I probably have n’t written a love letter to a boy. I have written a love letter and it seems that I have received it . Yes, because I liked a boy very much in high school , so I wrote the love letter and asked a boy in our class to give it to him. Because the boy in our class seemed to be a good friend of him , he asked his good friend to give it to me, and then I fell in love with him. This good friend should have secretly put a small note in my English homework book. It’s very clichéd. It’s that since the first time I met you, he probably praised me for being sunny and funny. I was very funny when I was a child. And this boy told me that he already had someone he liked . At that time, I thought, okay, so I took the love letter back and wrote a sentence on it. It ‘s very simple, like you were dressed so cute today or something, it’s so embarrassing to think about it now. Some descriptions about missing you are like when you were not around, I did whatever I did today , and then at the end I would say it would be nice if you were with me. I’ve written too many love letters. The most important thing is if you are married, especially if you are married, writing love letters is very important. I think useless things and things that happen on a whim are the most important things to do. In fact, everyone just had a very interesting discussion . No one has ever stereotyped what an actor must be like. He can have all kinds of styles on this stage. The key is whether he can move people. Let’s take a look, haha. After his performance, he got a lot of votes. We need to start the mic-grabbing camp. Touch the ball. I want to see him touch the ball . The countdown to grabbing the mic is drawing another ball. There are so many people standing there. Oh my god, there are four people who have initiated the challenge , haha. Your choice is rock-paper-scissors. I really don’t dare to choose anyone. I have PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). Teacher Zhang didn’t dare to choose anyone , so he played rock -paper-scissors , rock-paper-scissors, rock-paper- scissors , rock-paper-scissors, rock-paper-scissors. The finals were still a round-robin. The talk show and Ta’s rock-paper-scissors were cute, very cute, cute. Applause, please come on, Xiaodie . Hello, everyone. I’m Xiaodie . It took me a long time to get on stage because my skirt was too long. So today I’m going to complain about plus-size women’s clothing. My size is XXXL (size), the same size as Haha Cao. He’s tall and strong, but I’m not tall and my size is also big. In fact, I really hate telling others my height and weight, but I found that the owners of plus-size women’s clothing stores don’t trust their customers very much. I’ve placed an order but they still ask about my height and weight. I said 156. 165 The smart customer service turned into a manual customer service and asked me which one was my height. I said, “Does this matter?” There was another time that was even more outrageous. The other party asked me , “Are you 165 kilograms or 165 pounds ?” I went to her store’s details page and saw that the largest size can be worn by 350 pounds. 10XL (size). This store owner is too broad-minded. I asked her , “Are there so many people over 300 pounds?” The store owner said, “When I was as heavy as you , I didn’t expect that I could grow to 300 pounds. You shouldn’t set limits for yourself. As a fat person , I can understand her aggressiveness. At the same time, I am really curious about the 10XL (size) clothes. I bought it and tried it on. The style of the clothes was very strange and especially loose. A person over 160 pounds was shaking in the clothes , but the collar was very tight. A person over 160 pounds was stuck in the neck by a 300-pound clothes. I was really curious. How could a person over 300 pounds have a thinner neck than me? Who is this clothes designed for? After thinking about it, I think it should be a 300-pound red-crowned crane or a 300-pound cork. Then I also found that the design logic of plus-size women’s clothing is also very strange, especially in terms of pants. They assume that the larger the waist, the longer the trouser legs. That is, when I gain weight, I will also grow taller, so I often need to find a tailor to cut my pants. After a while, the aunt started asking me why it was you again . I said the pants were too long, and she said, “Then you buy short ones.” I said the short waistline is not suitable, and she said, “Then you buy the one with the right waistline.” I said I bought it, so I came to you to cut it. Gradually, I found that I could get four trouser legs by buying a pair of pants, and the extra two trouser legs could be used to make two more skirts. Then, in order to buy pants with a suitable circumference and length, I used my brain and came up with a good idea. I directly bought 170 cm three-quarter pants and 180 cm seven-quarter pants . At the most exaggerated time, I started buying two-meter short pants. I think the main reason is that the models in plus-size women’s clothing stores are all thin people picked from hundreds. Once I watched a live broadcast of plus-size women’s clothing sales. The anchor weighed only 90 kilograms at most. Seeing her selling plus-size women’s clothing, I suddenly I felt that Edamame could also sell weight loss products. As for that anchor, she put a huge fake belly on herself, and then patted her belly and said that I should be about 160 pounds now . Then when I saw her current appearance, her belly was particularly big and her neck was particularly thin. There were only three words in my mind : enema . I felt that she was insulting me because I weigh more than 160 pounds. We fat people are just fat, not mutated, not so deformed. I think the target of this enema body shape should not be our plus-size girls , but middle-aged beer bellies. Then the female anchor put on a skirt with her back to the camera, and then took off her big belly and turned around to say that the style of our skirt is so good that no matter how big the belly is, it can disappear immediately. I saw where it disappeared. She put it on the chair next to her. I can’t take off my belly. Can a real belly be the same as a fake belly? I sent a barrage at the time and asked if the assistant could try on this skirt. The assistant should be more than 160 pounds. As soon as I finished speaking, the assistant kicked me out of the live broadcast room. I was really angry at the time, and I protested I went to complain about this live broadcast room. I changed 3 reasons. At first I said that they were committing financial fraud and personal attacks , but the report was not successful. Later I changed the reason and said that they were live broadcasting and lifting clothes and exposing their belly. The live broadcast was involved in pornography. Moreover, I later found some more outrageous live broadcast rooms. The models of plus-size women’s clothing were some men and some foreigners. I thought this was too absurd. What kind of clothes ? Why was it inconvenient for her target customers to appear in person? I searched the entire Internet for such clothes. In addition to plus-size women’s clothing, there are only funeral clothes . There should be plus-size funeral clothes. It’s a bit heavy to find a real fat person for plus-size women’s clothing. They are already so unhappy about finding a dead fat person for plus-size funeral clothes . Then I changed my tone. Dead fat person. I follow a lot of plus-size bloggers and some plus-size shop owners. I really hope that there are some real plus-size girls to clean up this industry. So I’ve been a little sad recently because the owner of a plus-size store I often buy from suddenly lost weight. She lost weight, but it’s hard for me to lose weight. She was selling plus-size women’s clothing while secretly losing weight. She stabbed me in the back. It turned out that she was not naive, but I was naive. When I go shopping in her store now, I feel that things have changed and people have changed. When I look at her clothes now , I feel that they are her old clothes that she would sell after she lost weight. The impact is particularly strong , as if Yu Hua suddenly wrote a book called “Dead”. I wrote this joke because I found that everyone seems to assume that the smallest size is the best size , and some people will always say that clothes will not look good if you are fat. In fact, there is a possibility that as long as you are a little fat, designers will start to design clothes poorly. So, let’s not point the finger at ourselves , let’s do our best, and hope that those large-size merchants can make their own clothes well. Okay, let’s stop here. Thank you everyone, I am Xiaodie. Thank you for the applause to Xiaodie . Countdown to Xiaodie’s ticket locking channel. Teacher Luyu, there is a point I want to communicate with Xiaodie. You said in the middle that you see, because of that person She is not actually plus-size, and she has a fake belly, so I can understand why you feel angry. What you are joking about is that sometimes the platform will block a live broadcast room. In fact, there are many very strange reasons for that mechanism. I think you should add one more joke and turn the blame over. Otherwise, as a listener, after hearing it, I would say that those two people might just be doing a business. In fact, I am quite sad about Xiaodie, because I have seen some of her offline recordings before. She is extremely good, not just ordinary good. I did not expect that there would be a situation where none of the four lights were filmed. In my mind, she was one of the favorites for this season , but since the last show, I felt that Xiaodie did not seem to adapt to this recording . Think back to the time when Zhou Qimo, who was the ceiling of Chinese talk shows, was also seriously unwell in the first round. Adapt , yes. Then, one of the outstanding female players in China, Xiaolu, was not very adaptable either , and she was not adaptable at the beginning, so I believe Xiaodie may have an adaptation period. Why do I feel like you are comforting me ? I am not sad at all. No, I am just telling the truth. This is what I can think of, because this article is very, very new . I just finished writing it three days ago. Because I don’t know how many rounds I can stay here, I especially want to speak up for us plus-size girls. Yes, because I have really worn clothes with very good styles , which are suitable for my figure, so I especially hate those who are deceitful. They have a stereotype about fat people , and they think that fat people only have fat bellies , and they don’t consider other things. In fact, it is their negligence. Yang Tianzhen’s women’s clothing is very beautiful. To me, the clothes I wore were hers. I just want to say that big It seems that there are not many people who are really passionate about women’s clothing. So after she lost weight, I felt a little sad or worried. I was afraid that she would not do a good job in pattern making in the future . So I wanted to encourage her by coming to the show . I hope she will continue to do a good job because I really like this skirt and it looks really good on me. Thank you again, Xiaodie, for your performance. A talk show can arouse everyone’s discussion and everyone can think about it seriously. This is a good topic for a talk show. Thank you again, Xiaodie. At the same time, haha, Cao is back on the stage. After the performance of the two of you is over, we have to see their votes . Haha, Cao is to Xiaodie, please look, congratulations, haha. Cao successfully advanced. Xiaodie will temporarily return to the waiting area. Welcome. It’s easy. It’s okay. It’s great.