红秋裤就是36岁人的LABUBU，呼兰不愧是曾经的冠军，开口就是王炸！|【脱口秀和Ta的朋友们 第二季】 #脱口秀和Ta的朋友们第二季 #Stand-up Comedy2
Captain Shield (Hulan) is a bit explosive, right? He calms the place down, right? He calms the place down. Hello everyone, I am Hulan. I feel a little old recently. Have you seen that? My name has appeared on the list of invited guests for “Brothers Who Make Waves”. This is the good thing about talk show audiences. You can see that brother in the list . There are many big names like Lu Han on the list . As soon as it is put on the list, people say it is impossible for him to go. Fans and audiences say don’t go. Our brother won’t go. When you tell the talk show audience, the talk show audience is very happy. Our brother has been promoted. I am 36 this year. It is my zodiac year. When you talk about my zodiac year, it is like those people with a particularly poor sense of humor. They say they really can’t tell. I’m already 60. Now many people do n’t talk about the year of birth anymore. They talk about the year of birth. Do you know the year of birth? It’s the one I like the most. The one in the entertainment industry is called the year of birth. People often ask me, “My year of birth is Wang Hedi. What’s your year of birth?” I say , “My year of birth is the snake . It should be Bai Suzhen . The one I like the most is called the year of birth. Then the second and third ones are called the second and third year of birth. I can’t understand them when I say Chinese. In the past, only my mother would tell me that if I don’t study hard, and I think the year of birth at 36 is the most superstitious year of birth. When you are 24, think about it . You are not afraid of anything. 24 is a good age for accidents. At 36, I got rid of the red autumn The pants have been put on. Don’t worry about whether they work or not. It’s called “Do not neglect small kindnesses”. These 36-year-olds around me each have a pair of red long johns. They are neatly dressed. The red long johns are the labia of 36-year-olds. If you accidentally reveal them, people will ask what these long johns are. There are too many explanations now. You see, this year of birth is called Tai Sui . There are also things before it, such as offending Tai Sui and clashing with Tai Sui for several consecutive years. In the year, you also know about retrograde mercury and geomagnetic storms. So there is not much time for me to work hard in this year . I work hard. Not only do I wear red long johns, I also go to the temple. If you go to the temple now, you can often see four words in the temple , which are “Mo Xiangwai Qiu”. Do you see the meaning of “Mo Xiangwai Qiu “? It means that it is better to ask for help from yourself than from others. You are the most important person. Don’t ask for help from others . But the strange thing is that although it says ” Don’t ask for help from others” , you can see that temples have the Dharma distribution center. You often want to buy a blessed string and queue for three or four hours but still can’t buy it. Later I figured it out. What they meant was “Don’t ask for help from others”. Just ask here , just ask here and it will be fine. After buying it, leave . It is easy to buy fake things outside. In fact, you can’t say “buy or ask for help” in that place. He told me that this thing is called “establishing a relationship”. If you ask how to buy this thing in this place , no one will pay attention to you. You ask how to establish a relationship with this thing. He tells you that you can establish a relationship by spending money. I see, it’s not the red string. I think the red string is pretty good. He told me that one is 28, two is 56, and three is 84. I said, let’s make three. As a result, when I calculated, 84 divided by 3 is 28. I said, I’m not good at math, and I almost got fooled by you. Originally, when I came in, I was thinking, “Is this Mahayana Buddhism or Hinayana Buddhism?” It turned out to be elementary school multiplication. I don’t know how to wear it either. I bought it back. After buying it, I checked on the Internet and it said that this thing is like this . Before the New Year, you should wear it on your left hand and change it to your right hand on the first day of the New Year . When I saw this statement, it was already the third day of the New Year. I said, “Change it quickly and admit your mistakes.” After two days of switching to my right hand , another one came out saying that once you put on this red rope , don’t take it off easily. I said, I believe you , you just want it to be simple. You make it so troublesome. I might as well work hard. Besides, I am 36 this year and my zodiac sign is snake. Then I met a master who said that since I am a snake, I’d better stay away from the tower this year. He said stay away from the tower. I said stay away from the tower. Do I have to stay away from the Calabash Brothers as well? So when I was on this show, I was very nervous because our show is called talk show with his friends. And I don’t think there are obstacles in the year of birth, but I just happened to be stuck on that obstacle in these years. Let me calculate it for you. Think about it. When I was 12, I was in primary school and entered junior high school. At 24, I graduated and looked for a job. At 36, I was laid off and continued to look for a job. At 48, I was a child. I’m 12 now and I’m going from primary school to junior high school. I’ve done a lot of things. It’s my zodiac year and I can’t do it. During the New Year, they told me that I had to hide from the spring. Are you guys brushing it? Many people brushed it in the first year and said they had to hide from the spring. I brushed it on the same day. I said, if you didn’t tell me , I would have hidden it. Tell me what you’re doing. If you don’t tell me, I won’t miss you. Just like during the New Year, my mother told me , “Let’s go back to our hometown and don’t tell your brother that your aunt is sick. ” I said, “If you don’t tell me, I don’t know. My aunt is sick . Don’t tell me. If you tell me, I still have to miss you. After a while, I asked my mother again, ” Which aunt of mine is sick? I have four aunts in total. ” My mother said, “Don’t you want to know?” I said, “I have to know . Which one should I tell my brother?” Then it described the hiding from the spring in great detail. It said that it was from 9 to 11 p.m. on the evening of the beginning of spring that day. It said you can’t go anywhere. I just stayed in the house with the door closed. It said it wouldn’t let me go out because it’s easy to run into people with zodiac signs that conflict with me. For example, people with the snake sign or the rooster sign are in conflict with the snake sign because people with the rooster sign are more likely to snatch people with the snake sign away. I said, how can it be so superstitious and materialistic? It also said that I can’t play with my phone or touch the computer for these two hours. I said, is this also a rule set by our ancestors? And if I can’t play, I can only read. After reading for a while, I felt sleepy again . It said I couldn’t sleep either . Really, I was sighing there and said that when I was 24 years old I want to change the world every day. When I was 36, I hid from the spring in my house. Many friends often said, “Look, you, Hu Lan, you are talking about these things, but your zodiac year has not passed yet. ” “Aren’t you afraid of difficulties in the second half of the year?” ” Well , think about it. If I don’t talk about these things, I can’t write the manuscript. I have difficulties now. And you said that talking about these things will offend the gods. I think how can the gods be so stingy? I’m not sure, but this is how I comfort myself . Think about the gods, right? No matter what the international situation is, someone ridiculed us for elementary school multiplication. You can go and have a look. Some people say that it is pseudoscience , but it is not. Think about it. You are wearing red autumn johns. Metaphysicalally, it is to save your life. Scientifically, it is to keep warm. Psychologically , I still hope that you keep it secret. I think you have to wear autumn johns and write the manuscript. I wear autumn johns and work hard to write the manuscript. I think my fate is determined by me and God. Thank you everyone, I am Hu Lan . Hu Lan’s ticket lock channel is open. Thank you, Hu Lan, you are going to participate in “Brothers Who Overcome All Troubles” . What is it that Hu Lan sings ? The sky is dark and the earth is dark. The point is that you and I are really on that list . It has been released . When it was released for the first time, I said, let’s dispel a rumor. After dispelling the rumor, no one paid attention. I released it the second time. I said, is ours so unknown? It’s useless to dispel the rumor. The second time, there was also two days ago. There was also a list of proposed guests. You were chosen to rap. Maybe it’s not. I don’t know if you are a veteran in the rap world. I have to say that his skills are somewhat clever. When he looked at my mouth shape and gave me giaogiao, come to Luyu , I actually hesitated at the end whether to clap the light. I saw your hesitation, right? Because my expectations for Hu Lan are relatively high. I hope he can reach my point and then go up from that point. So there is some gap between my expectations and yours. Understand my feelings. In fact, it is different from Teacher Luyu Actually, it’s exactly the same. Hu Lan’s achievements in this field are not inferior to this one. But today, with his usual level, he is indeed a little lacking. So I have been waiting and waiting , but in the end, I didn’t get it. I would like to ask Hu Lan, are you wearing it today? I didn’t wear it today . It’s a bit hot today , and it’s a bit too deliberate. Wearing long johns in summer is too right. Actually, the question I want to ask is that I want to follow up on this question. How long should this thing be worn? If it gets dirty, you have to wash it. Don’t you have to wash it just because it’s dirty ? You should change it with a new one. In fact, just be sincere, right? Just be sincere. In fact, I used to wear a red rope, and because it was winter , I kept wearing it. As a result, when the tour was halfway through and it was summer, if you wear a red rope when you go on stage, the audience will be easily distracted, and then they all take it off. Then there are no red long johns, no red rope, but Theoretically speaking , this is the time when we are on stage when we need blessings the most. Then we all took off our pants. Actually, there are many friends in our company who were born in 1989. Hello, everyone. I am Hotpot . I was born in 1989 as a snake. Hello, everyone. I am Sun Xi. I was also born in 1989 as a snake. Hello, everyone. I am Hu Lan. I was also born in 1989 as a snake. Hello, everyone. I am Tan Xiangwen. I was born in 2001 as a snake. I can’t tell. I want to call him brother. I want to call him brother. When he heard me tell this joke for the first time , he opened his pants outdoors to show me his red long johns. My suggestion is that next time we should not be shy. We should not be shy with outsiders. There was a red string before , and then because the performance distracted the audience’s attention , we took it off. I wore the red string with a small golden snake on it. There was a small golden snake on it. It was a present from Xu Haolun. I will be more anxious now because I realized that when I was told that I was 36, I was sad for a long time. And how many Benzodiac Years can you have in your lifetime? Why are you suddenly talking about this? I am not spreading anxiety. Wait, I am only 24. Why do I feel like you are going to leave me ? Is 36 so scary? I am about to cry. Today’s interview is mainly for the three of us to scare you. This is the main purpose. Will someone fall here? Bang, fall here. Fortunately, after all the lights are shot, let’s see the number of votes Hu Lan got. Hu Lan did not exceed 290 votes , so now we have to start grabbing the microphone. It’s so exciting. This is too exciting. Now we can stand . Let’s stand. I won’t stand. I really want to stand, but I don’t have the courage. Who wants to stand? Hu Lan , I think no one in our group dares to stand. Stand or not, friends, Xiao Qi, have some water. Okay, the 20 actors in the spear group, please grab the microphone. The great master Seven (Seven) Seven (Seven), tell me your reasons. Actually, before I went on the show , when I was performing offline, I always liked Hu Lan very much. I also imagined whether I could compete with Teacher Hu Lan. I hope to seize this opportunity . I think the show is a battle between the strong and the strong, which is quite interesting. Then in the last round, I was stronger than Seven (Seven). The big master was so competitive that I knew it was indeed the spear group. So Hu Lan, between Seven (Seven) and the big master, your choice is, I choose the big master because I originally thought that whoever stood up first would be chosen. Anyway, we all follow this principle, so let’s choose the big master. Okay, Seven (Seven), take a break. Let’s warmly welcome the first outstanding talk show host from the spear group. Tell the story slowly and think carefully. Applause . Welcome Da Guoshou. Hi , everyone. I’m Da Guoshou. Last year, I talked about how my boyfriend got into a car accident while riding my motorcycle. I didn’t have any money, so I was struggling over whether to insure the person or the car. At that time, I was worried that after the show was broadcast, netizens would scold me as a non-human. But I didn’t expect them to scold me for not being sober and for being in love. I thought, does insuring a person mean being in love? Then what does it mean to be sober ? What does it mean to not be in love ? I have to repair the car first and then ride it to kill my boyfriend. The traffic police came and asked me if I was drunk. I said no . I am very sober now and asked me if I was the owner of the car. I said no, I am the heroine. To be honest , we had been dating for two years and our relationship had faded. After netizens scolded me like this, I became a little rebellious. I just love you to death . I love you to death. I love you whether I love you or not . I love you forcefully. I love you so much . I can hear that I am still a little unconvinced after being scolded . What should I do? I clicked on the homepage of a netizen and was a little surprised. He said he wanted When I read “Misogyny”, I thought to myself, do you still need to read it? You have already learned it. You have already learned it. But I did have a love brain before, or to be more precise, a secret love brain. When I was in college, I met an online friend in the WeChat group and we had an argument because of some things. I said to him that I really didn’t know how your mother gave birth to you. He said it was not something that outsiders should know. At that time, I thought he was so smart and humorous, and we were a perfect match . Let’s get married tomorrow. So I added his WeChat and chatted with him from time to time, but I didn’t dare to confess my love because I still had a crush on someone . When I was young, I thought secret love was like buying lottery tickets. If I had the ability, I would buy as many as I could, but I didn’t dare to really exchange them. One was that I was afraid that all of them would fail, and the other was that I was afraid that all of them would succeed. From childhood to adulthood, I only dared to have secret love because the education I received was that girls should not take the initiative and should be reserved. My elementary school teacher told me a story about a female writer who asked Bing Xin how to get love. Bing Xin said not to look for it, but to wait. The female writer waited until she was 50 years old. When I grew up, I checked Bing Xin’s I got married at the age of 29. They say that in the past, transportation was slow and love was slow, but she got married quickly . Spring nights are short and I don’t want to wait. I want to take the initiative. Who would have thought that I would be scolded as soon as I took power. After being scolded, I also reflected on my emotional state. My boyfriend and I met in a cultural space. The cultural space was a homeless shelter. He is from Xi’an and is a musician. When we just got together, a female fan who liked him sent him a WeChat message asking him what to do if the person he liked had a girlfriend. My first reaction was anger, but then I thought about it. This girl also has the right to pursue love. I am a new-age woman and I cannot have the mentality of a wife beating a mistress. So I beat my boyfriend. Based on this posture, I can infer that he is not tall and has a strong sense of security. I beat him while talking to him. He couldn’t win, so I played the piano to vent my emotions and played “Kill the Shijiazhuang Man”. I am the Shijiazhuang man. I made people laugh. I asked him how he was going to kill him. He said he would go home and send the Terracotta Warriors to beat me. He ‘s a very naive man, right? But there’s no way. I’m a desperate straight woman. When it comes to love, I can only choose the lesser of two evils . Either find a man or don’t find one. I can’t not find one. I can’t resist. I’m an adult. I suffer, I’m tired, I’m poor, I’m hungry every day. I need love. Even when I wasn’t in a relationship , I loved several people. I think I’m very sober. But now some netizens think that women are sober only when they don’t get married or fall in love. According to this logic, the soberest person is Master Miejue. She doesn’t fall in love herself , and she doesn’t let others fall in love. Her apprentice Ji Xiaofu fell in love with Yang Xiao, so Miejue asked Ji Xiaofu to kill Yang Xiao . Ji Xiaofu refused and Miejue beat Ji Xiaofu to death with a palm. This is too sober, sober to death. So now when someone asks me about my emotional state, I have to observe his reaction before deciding on the next sentence. If he shows that kind of contemptuous look, I will quickly say, “Oh, I’m just playing around. It’s really hard to be a woman.” In the past , they asked me to be reserved, but later they said women should take the initiative. I took the initiative, and they said we couldn’t fall in love. I felt that the old rules had not been broken, but the new rules had been established. It’s not that I can’t keep up with the times , I just can’t keep up with the rules. I live in fear every day, not knowing which will come first, tomorrow or extinction . I feel that extinction will come tomorrow. I understand that some people criticize love brain because they are afraid that girls will be exploited in their emotions, but insulting is not the right way. The reason why love brain is so strong is through unconditional dedication. To exchange for love is because she lacks love. So if you really want to do good for her, don’t scold her. You love her, you love her more than her boyfriend, you love her to wake her up . She is an adult who suffers, is tired, poor and hungry every day. She needs love. Of course, you can also not love, but please don’t hurt me. I really can’t stand those disciplines. Now I want to ride a motorcycle and knock them over. The traffic police came and asked me if I was drunk. I said no . I am very sober now and asked me if I was crazy. I said no, sisters are normal people. That’s all. Thank you all. The ticket locking channel of Daguoshou is open. Daguoshou. Why did I think of writing this article this time ? Because actually last year I felt that the main reason for being scolded was very illogical and ridiculous. Then I wanted to write this at the beginning. Would it arouse more anger among netizens? But I thought forget it. Just write about my true self. Because I still want to be myself truthfully. Being yourself may not make people love you, but there will definitely be people who hate you. But this is life. Now many of us girls have a new dilemma . Boys will say very frankly that they are just in love and love is so beautiful. But when you ask me this question, as a woman, I will instinctively say that I can’t say that because it seems that I am not advanced enough. So I think the big country hand just illustrates this problem . We have broken many old rules, but we have new rules. Thank you, Teacher Luyu . Teacher Luo didn’t clap. I have liked the big country hand since the last session, but she went back after one round in the last session, two rounds , the second round, and the second round. So I am very afraid that the situation last year will happen again. I like your expression very much, but the density of the jokes and these are a little lacking. Anyway, because I was given the so-called overall view , I didn’t clap. But I am very afraid that you will go back in the second round. I hope not. I think the big country hand looks thin and small, but it is indeed like the camp she chose. She is like a spear , and she has a faint sense of sharpness. So I think that life is actually an accumulation of one’s own experience and experience. Whether it is the so-called love brain or not, I think it should be felt by oneself . Thank you, Teacher Chunchun, I am very curious because I am very curious about the experience of mature women. I am very curious whether Chunchun is in love. I don’t know. Actually, I am not that . I should not be that. I feel because I need to think about this question carefully. Love music and love everything. Everything in this world can be loved. Isn’t it true that many things can be (loved) ? Then, Teacher Da, are you a love-brained person? I am too much. Is Thai massage good? What the hell is that? I think people who say that others are love-brained people first of all have no brains. Love is such a beautiful thing. Why do you say that it will come when it should ? It’s too blind , right? Because it is really precious to love someone. Because there are so many people in the world, seven or eight billion people , and you are just one of them in the eyes of others, but there is someone who thinks you are the only one . What a beautiful thing. So I think this love-brain thing has actually been opposed to this statement. I especially want to listen to Teacher Niao Niao. I especially want to listen to Teacher Niao Niao. I think it is quite surprising that Da Guoshou can express his views so directly, because I think that having more discussions on some topics is actually a reflection of the richer things we can say. Then I think I have similar feelings to Da Guoshou . It seems that people around us often express their love in a way of management, but perhaps as a person, we need more care and attention. Thank you again for the wonderful performance brought to us by Da Guoshou. At the same time, we would also like to invite Hu Lan to return to the stage to see Hu Lan and Da Guoshou. Their votes are respectively: I believe Hu Lan, congratulations to Hu Lan for entering the promotion zone, and Da Guoshou will come back and continue to wait.