一周速通备孕副本，继业不愧是’研究生’！|【脱口秀和Ta的朋友们 第二季】 #脱口秀和Ta的朋友们第二季 #Stand-up Comedy2
The first person to come on stage is very familiar to everyone . It’s the Nang man. Here comes the Nang man. The Nang man was originally very young, but he has undergone tremendous changes in this year. Everyone says that he has a strong dad vibe. Applause, welcome Jiye. Jiye will dance to the funky style, which is crazy. There are so many people and there are LOFTs. Hi, everyone, I am Jiye. There are so many people today. I really want to share my recent changes with you . I’m going to be a father soon. It’s legal and will not occupy public resources. Instead, it will provide human resources to the society . Friends who just applauded can give a donation when the show is over. Those of you online should also give a thumbs up to the child. My wife’s due date is in July . Our shows are all in the summer season . Others go on shows to get fans who are only fans or true fans. I only want milk powder. When the child was born, the house was full of milk powder. I told the child, “Let’s splurge . ” The friends around us, who are second-generation stars, don’t quite understand. People often ask us why we want to have children. When I ask them, I feel guilty. I say, “Are you not allowed to? ” The policy has changed. Now we have plans to sterilize. But I know that everyone really chooses not to have children now , so I feel like a traitor. I asked if others would gossip about me behind my back. How did he become a father ? He’s a talk show host . Even if he doesn’t want a divorce, he still wants to have a child. We complain about East Asian parents on stage, but he secretly forms his own family and chooses to have a child. The reason is very simple. We both like children very much. My wife said that now is the off-season for childbirth, so we should have children in a different season. We started preparing for pregnancy last year. People on the Internet said that it is difficult to get pregnant . My wife said that we should treat preparing for pregnancy with the attitude of preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination . I said that I have not taken the postgraduate entrance examination either, so is this auspicious metaphor for studying? She said, “Be serious. We work so hard just for the sake of postgraduate study. ” I said , “Okay, Teacher Zhang Xuefeng, preparing for pregnancy requires a lot of preparation. Let me tell you that it requires fertility testing, long-term exercise , and folic acid. We made a very thorough plan. Just one week into the plan, my wife got pregnant. She was very excited and said that there was no need to prepare. We got the offer (admission notice) It came too fast. It was said that the one who got pregnant couldn’t be Cao Cao. The hospital called and said that the fertility test results came out. I said we also got the results. The doctor said you can prepare. I said it was over. My wife suggested that I cancel the gym membership. She said that every penny saved is a penny earned . I thought that was right . Who would go to the tutoring class after getting ashore? I told the coach that I had a family to support, so I would not do aerobics for the time being. The coach said that I would switch to weightlifting. I said that was not necessary. The burden on my shoulders was already heavy. I felt that what the child needed most in the future was a wealthy family rather than a father with double doors. The child said, “Dad, I want to eat milk powder.” I said, “Dad, I only have protein powder.” The pregnancy process went smoothly, but we started to prepare. When I was pregnant, I didn’t dare to let my family know, because in our family, as long as you have the idea of having a baby, the whole family will start to torture you. My cousin and his wife said before that they wanted to have a baby, but later on, our family never let them eat proper food. They would have a cup of American coffee (also called Chinese medicine or raw coconut fertility latte) when they woke up in the morning. They drank Chinese medicine every day, let alone having a baby. They really didn’t want to live. His parents also kept sending the Guanyin of Childbirth to their home. The bedroom was decorated like a temple. I was scared when I went to his house. I asked him, “Cousin, why do you like Pop Mart too ?” So in order to prevent being forced to have a baby , we have been cosplaying as DINKs. We have a unified tone to the outside world: we don’t have children, we hate kids, just kidding . I like kids and I want to be a good father. I asked my buddy how to be a good father. He said let’s compete in push-ups. Whoever wins is the father. There is no reference. The closest reference to me is my father. My father is not absent, but he is not smart. When I was 8 months old, my father wanted to feed me knife-cut noodles. As expected of Shanxi, fathers can choose the staple food between milk powder and complementary food. I was vomiting all the time. My father thought I was dizzy. Fortunately, my mother found it in time, otherwise I would not have survived. 1997 Learning from fathers is unreliable , but I have received help from many mothers. There are many friends around me who are mothers. Knowing that I have children, they shared a lot of strategies with me and gave me a lot of maternal and child supplies. Pin was so enthusiastic. I said, “Isn’t this my child? So how can I be a father? I think I can learn from every mother around me. Now there are still two months before the baby is born. I am very excited. I will tell jokes to the baby while facing my wife’s belly. My wife laughed and the baby didn’t react at all. I said it was a cold reception. I said, “You didn’t even laugh at this joke? It’s true that people’s hearts are separated by their stomachs. ” We even imagined what the baby would look like. I said, “Your eyes look like your dimples, like mine.” When I talked about academic performance, there was silence. In the end, we felt that happiness was the most important thing. Because everyone who watched last year’s show knew that we both scored more than 200 points in the college entrance examination . The baby will definitely not have the pressure to surpass our parents. This is the intangible thing we leave for our children. Without cultural heritage , there will only be encouragement in education at home. We are like Da Zhangwei. Whatever the child does, he says it ‘s amazing . He learns from Da Zhangwei and becomes like the kind of person who sings folk songs. Experts suggest listening to Bach and Beethoven for prenatal education. Listen to “Sunshine, Rainbow, Little White Horse” and so on. Our child listens to this and is admitted to technical secondary school . Really, I don’t care who is the best friend of the talk show this year , because he must be the youngest friend of the talk show. This is how I feel about becoming a father. Now I may still not know how to be a good father, but after listening to so many talk show hosts share their families and their childhoods, I feel that at least I know how not to be a bad father. Recently we are also watching A science and education film about family, “Home with Kids”. Your childhood and my childhood may be the same, but I sincerely hope that the childhood of this generation of children will be different. And indeed, I feel guilty standing on the stage to share with you the joy of being a parent , because the one who is really bearing the pressure and pain of childbirth at this moment is my wife. When she had morning sickness, I felt very uncomfortable, but there was little I could do. I could only pat her on the back and make her happy. I said, “Do you think I want to vomit ? I am such a disgusting father. Baby, you can call me Vomit Dad from now on . Many times I can only worry. I said, “What can I do? My wife is anxious. What can I do? Hurry up and go on the show to earn milk powder for the second generation of stars to squander. ” Okay, thank you everyone. I am Jiye. I wish you happiness. Thank you everyone. Thank you, Suo The ticket countdown is on. Let’s give applause to Jiye again. Isn’t it Mr. Big? This paragraph of yours appeared very suddenly. I donated money. I donated money right away. I donated a lamp to illuminate my child’s future star path. I sincerely wish him well. Then the whole delivery process went very smoothly. When the child was taken out, he said, “It’s amazing . Have you thought of a name ? In fact, our talk show actor Cai Cai Cai helped us think of a name called “Wang Haoxiang Wang Haoxiang”. It means that I think positively about everything and I also wish that all our friends’ jokes will be very good. I didn’t expect that I would appear on the show. I think it’s very good. Moreover, this name has nothing to do with gender. I like this name very much. I haven’t thought about what to call it. Where is it going? What the hell is this? I’m in a bad mood now. I am physically ready but I am not mentally ready yet because mental preparation requires you to see the baby , hold the baby and have body temperature contact with him/her to be ready. You don’t have any concrete understanding of this baby, but when you see his/her clothes, you feel that he/she is so big. We just finished the examination. The doctor said that he /she is too big, which is good news and bad news . If the baby is too big, it may be difficult to give birth naturally. But the baby is indeed big. Will he/she be bigger than Lu Bo? Prenatal education: listen to music. Welcome to the music prenatal education time every night . He/she has fetal movement . The fetal movement is very amazing. It is fetal movement like this. He/she will do this. It is very amazing. He/ she kicks his/her belly with his/her feet . Then right next to it , all of a sudden, the cat at home will feel that the baby is pregnant. I have two cats, one cat is here and the other cat is here. I feel that they are coming to see her. I put my hands here and then I will press her. Then I will slowly press her with my hands. It’s quite fun. I also listen to talk shows, but I say to talk shows, don’t listen to me. My skills in making jokes are a bit monotonous. Let’s learn some of these top talk shows, such as Hu Lan and Niao Niao. Let’s listen to them. Is she moving now? Is it only when you listen to Niao Niao that she will have fetal movement ? Yes, she is quite knowledgeable . Just learn it. I think she will do comedy in the future . This child will not be bad at comedy . My wife is watching “Legend of the Magpie Sword Gate”, “Country Love” and “Marshal Ma” at home. I said, after you watch this, I will tell you that she will be able to say 4, 6, and 8 sentences when she is born. Wait for the 20th season of “Talk Show and Her Friends”. My child is about 18 years old, I think it’s okay. We can do 1V1 All of a sudden I was looking forward to it. He can do anything. Jiye, it was said that you were very hesitant when you wrote this manuscript. What were you hesitant about? What were you worried about ? When I read this joke, I was wondering whether it would be funny or not, because you know that behind the funny thing is your wife who bears all the responsibility, so I was afraid. But I still want to talk about it . I think this matter is really important to me , and it is a very unique experience in my life. So you ended it in that way. Even though it fell down in the middle , I still think it should be talked about. But I still think it should be talked about.
Just now, before you asked him that question, I actually wanted to say that I think Jiye’s expression is very good . He didn’t just say that as a man, I want to be a father, and I am very happy. In the end, he realized that all this was borne by my wife. I was very moved. Thank you, Teacher Lu Yu. I want to say more. Thanks to Teacher Luyu , she has been listening to “Yan Zhong Hua Shu” during her pregnancy. Thank you for many episodes that made her stronger. Including last year’s “Good Things” we also watched together. We watched it three or four times . It strengthened our determination to be parents and we want to be good parents. Thank you, Teacher Luyu . Thank you. I think Jiye seems to have basically left his growth trajectory on the talk show stage. Is it his from middle school, then the oolong things in work to now being a father? The jokes themselves have a lot of jokes and they are very dense . I am very happy to listen to them. I think this thing itself brings us a good feeling. So here I would like to congratulate Jiye. Thank you Teacher Chunchun. Congratulations, congratulations , and thank Jiye for the wonderful performance you brought us today. Let ‘s take a break. This excellent talk show actor who is about to go on stage shared with everyone on this stage last year. The story of my second sister running away has allowed more second sisters to be seen. Her family story is still being played out this year. Please welcome Echo (Ran Rong) with applause. Good evening, friends. Let’s not talk about something so heavy today. I want to share with you the changes in me this year. In fact, friends who are familiar with me all know that last year I complained about my original family on the show and talked about how my parents favored boys over girls and beat the children, which led to my second sister running away from home. Many people are very worried about my second sister. I want to tell you that she is really doing well now. Thank you all for your concern. Of course, there are many people who care about me. I feel that you all treat me like a good friend and advise you to break up in my comment section every day. You should keep such parents for the New Year. I’m sorry, it’s true that you keep them for the New Year. There is no way to be filial to them. There are only 0 times and countless times. I know that after the show was broadcast last year, I was able to complain about my parents on such a big platform. Many people praised me for being brave , but in fact, I want to clarify today that I am not brave at all, really, because I still dare not buy Tencent membership for my parents. I can’t see the full version and can only watch short videos , but everyone should know that short videos have to be edited. Originally, I was scolding my parents humorously , but all the humor was cut out. To be honest, I was afraid of hurting my parents, but I was also afraid that I couldn’t hurt them at all. I asked my mother and she said that people in my hometown would not. Some people said怎么办呢? My mom was a little angry and said, “Of course.” I asked, “Then how did you reply?” My mom replied very calmly , “How can I reply? ” I told her that this is a social phenomenon . Children not knowing how to be grateful is a social phenomenon. I wasn’t hurt at all. Really , I don’t want to be brave. I don’t want to be brave now because being brave requires a price. In order to maintain my image, I dare not be nice to my parents at all. It’s really too difficult. Just like before, I invited my parents to dinner. I originally invited them to a seafood dinner, but after the first dish was served, I quickly took a photo and posted it on Weibo. I said that one dish was enough for inviting my original family to dinner. Really, I thought I had hidden myself well, but there were still netizens leaving comments saying, “How can such parents deserve to eat ?” They gave them 1,000 yuan a month and cut off relations. I know this is a sincere blessing from my die-hard fans . Of course, not everyone accepts complaining about parents on such a big platform . There are still many different voices on the Internet. I once received a private message with fierce words . “You used to be sent away because your parents raised you with three daughters and one son. You don’t know how to be grateful. You are an ungrateful person .” I was scared to death. I quickly took a screenshot and sent it to my mom to ask if this was me. My uncle was not only not brave , but also a little guilty. He was afraid that people in his hometown would point fingers at my parents. So I would give it to me from time to time. Mom gave me a red envelope. I call it hedging . 100. Don’t be angry. 1000. I admit that I did a little too much . I can’t give 10,000 because some parents really don’t know how to be grateful. But I thought too much. I really thought too much. I think my old family doesn’t care whether they beat their children or not. They think I have a promising future. Now there are rumors in my hometown that as long as the children are beaten hard, the other one will be on TV. But there are some changes. I want to share with you a very warm thing . In fact, my mother apologized to me. She said sorry to me on WeChat. I should also reflect on it. This is the first time I heard my mother apologize to me very seriously. I am not used to it because I can’t accept my parents ‘ serious apologies. I hope it will be more casual. For example, when we were eating, my mother asked if you liked the dish next to it . This is the one over here. I privately said “I’m sorry” and suddenly spoke Japanese. Why? But my mother’s apology shocked me a lot. I suddenly realized that my mother is a woman of the previous generation. She has many things that she can’t help. I don’t want to blame all the mistakes on her . Then I replied to her that I can understand that it is normal for mother and daughter to have bumps and bumps. But I suddenly thought of my second sister, so I changed it again. I said it is normal for mother and daughter to fight and kill each other. I also took my mother to watch it. The movie “Determination to Run Away” also tells the story of the awakening of women of their generation . After watching it, my mother was really moved. She said that she felt that she had been living for others all her life and never cared about herself. I thought she had awakened, so I asked her what she wanted to do now. My mother looked at me very firmly and said, ” I want to remove my eye bags. Mom, life is a wilderness. You run, what do you do? Forget about lifting . I think this is also a kind of awakening. I think she started to please herself. I’m going to withdraw money. My mother has changed. She now likes to read my various performance reviews on the Internet , but she can’t hear the words of young people clearly. Once she asked me with her mobile phone, why did this person… To say Echo (Ran Rong) “Mom loves you”, I know she must have misunderstood, and I quickly explained to her , “Mom, she is not a mother like you, she is a fake mother .” My mother was a little confused and asked what a fake mother would do. A fake mother should trust you unconditionally, support you and respect you. My mother said that it was indeed very fake. Then my mother told me, “What about this sister who killed me?” I said, “That’s true, second sister, you should be careful. ” My mother has changed. She started to praise me, but I still feel that I am not used to it. Once she sent me some photos of my performances and told me that I found that you have become beautiful and confident recently. This is the first time I have received the recognition of my mother. I have never received it before and don’t know how to respond. I was so scared that I almost said to her with a fake smile, ” Dear, you are also very thin.” The relationship between a daughter and her mother is actually very complicated. The three of us sisters actually quarrel often, but we never really hurt each other, especially my second sister. Every time I quarrel with her, she is very calm and says, “I don’t care, you can scold me as much as you want, I don’t care.” But as long as I say that sentence, ” Have you noticed that you are exactly the same as mom now ? ” Have you noticed that you are exactly the same as mom? My second sister will kill you on the spot. Becoming a mom is our nightmare. No one wants to be exactly like mom, especially me . I am the least like my mom. I go to 211, I city walk in Shanghai, I am the least like her. It is impossible for me to look exactly like my mom. But one day I turned on the aging effect on my phone. You know what. Just like my mom (just like my mom) How could I be exactly like my mom? No, I want to make some changes. I quickly took out my phone and sent my mom a red envelope , saying, “Go get your eye bags removed quickly.” In this mother-daughter scene, let’s cut off our past selves . Thank you, everyone. I’m Echo (Ran Rong). Thank you , thank you for Echo’s (Ran Rong) performance. Echo (Ran Rong). Countdown to lock the tickets. Applause again for Echo (Ran Rong). Thank you, everyone. We filmed this at the last minute. What I like is that she talks about the complexity of a matter in a very calm and relaxed manner. I remember it was about two years ago, two or three years ago. At that time, the media had a slogan called “Protect complexity. ” I really agree with this. Many problems are caused by the fact that we simplify a complex thing. For example, emotions are very complex . Family, love, and friendship are not simply good or bad. Between good and bad, there may be a long process of pulling and pulling, which is extremely painful, and there are many days of suffering. This is why I especially like that she talks about a very heavy topic in that way and in the lightest way , so we dare to laugh . Otherwise, we may not dare to laugh, so I especially Don’t like Echo’s (Ran Rong) style, right? Because actually I thought about it last year. I think my second sister ran away from home and was completely disconnected from her family. I, for example, still have some ties with my original family. In fact, our goals are the same , both to pursue happiness. So I think my situation may be a very common one. I want to write about this kind of twisted contradiction. In fact, Echo (Ran Rong) and Chunchun have a connection, because last year Echo (Ran Rong) specifically said that when my second sister ran away, she took Chunchun’s album with her. When my second sister ran away from home at the age of 14, I quietly went to her house with my eldest sister to pack her clothes . She specifically emphasized that she took her sneakers, clothes , and one of your albums, “Queen and Dream”. Then she took it away. I read your Weibo post . Actually, many friends sent it to me at that time , and some netizens also left me messages suggesting that I should reply to encourage her or something. But later I felt that because the incident with my second sister actually shocked me greatly, from my heart I felt that I just left her a message like “Come on!”. I don’t think it would be too It’s simple, so I actually want to say that if I have the opportunity, I can talk about this with Echo (Ran Rong) face to face . So this is actually a very important reason why I came to this talk show. Thank you. I remember that I didn’t come when Echo (Ran Rong) performed live last year, but when I went back to watch the video, she was a contestant and her story touched me a lot. After that, I also followed her on social media, and I also hope to see her subsequent development and those things getting better and better as I hope. But purely from the perspective of talk shows, my feeling is different from that of Teacher Lu Yu. That is to say, every time I listen to your talk show, I think your attitude towards life is very good and your works also have many very good perspectives , but I am more sad instead of laughing without any psychological burden. This is something that has always confused me, so it may be a highly subjective thing . So purely from the perspective of the work, I didn’t shoot it, but I really hope that everything will be well for you in the future. I want to respond to Mr. Luo Yonghao’s question . I can understand your entanglement, but maybe For my own comedy creation, I particularly like to face the truth, because I think the truth is not happy or joyful. It’s just that maybe I’m relatively young now. I’m only 30 years old this year. You all are very young. Are there no jokes here ? I really hope to look directly at the gray areas in human nature, those entanglements and contradictions , so I hope to have more opportunities to create in the future. Thank you. Let’s give a round of applause to Echo (Ran Rong) again. Please invite Jiye back to the stage. I especially want to ask you two what your respective self-introductions are. Echo (Ran Rong) What’s yours? I love my family , Jiye’s daddy style is getting stronger. Who of you chose whom? I chose him because I was typing in the daddy style, but neither of us knew that the other had this label . We both wanted to play humor, and then we were stunned by the humor in the end. Yes, because when we saw it was each other , we were already broken, because we are very good friends . I think we should play in the finals. This is humor. Let’s take a look at the votes you two got. This is the final presentation. I think it’s okay, but it’s definitely not the best state. I don’t think it’s very smooth, but the subject matter is what I really want to talk about. Then I think it is another new progress to be able to handle it like this , so be nice to yourself. 80 points, Jiye 256 votes, congratulations on entering the promotion zone. Echo (Ran Rong) needs to wait in the waiting zone .