吴鼎重新归来成为短剧之幽默神君，张绍刚：反派为啥偏偏是我！|【脱口秀和Ta的朋友们 第二季】 #脱口秀和Ta的朋友们第二季 #Stand-up Comedy2
The two of you who will be meeting for the 1V1PK soon, hello everyone, I’m Wu Ding, hello , thank you. My name is Wu Ding, and this is my second time on the show. The eliminations last year were so fast, I came here from Hangzhou to record, the eliminations were in the early morning, and I was sitting at home at noon. The high-speed rail is really convenient. I thought I was dreaming again, maybe I didn’t get selected. This time I feel really bad. I also want to advance, and I also want to write golden sentences. I’ll go back and concentrate on my practice, my research, and my reading of classics , “The Brothers Karamazov”. This book is really good , but I can’t get into it. All good books are like this. I read the three chapters three times a year ago . The Brothers Karamazov stuck me, I thought it wouldn’t work, let’s just read the golden sentences, so I went online to look up its golden sentences. When I checked, I found that this book is a bit outdated , and its golden sentences are not popular at all, something like “God fights against the devil, and the battlefield is in people’s hearts” is too obscure. The golden sentences I want are the ones that are simple, easy to understand and popular, something like “The stars will not disappoint those who are on the road, and time will not disappoint those who are determined ” . How advanced is this ? I looked it up and this sentence comes from Da Bing’s “I Don’t”. I found the wrong classic , and it’s really hard to concentrate when reading a book now . You just read two pages of a book and go Watch short videos. Read two pages of a book and then watch short videos. Since I started reading, I watch two more hours of Douyin videos every day. I am now particularly addicted to those vertical screen short dramas , the very earthy ones, such as “The Three-Year Period Has Arrived, Welcome the Dragon King Back to the Palace”. When I first saw it, I sneered and said, “How can such nutritious garbage be addictive? ” I watched it until late at night and I was so anxious that I asked why the next episode was charged ? Is the Dragon King dead? I now realize that people like me just love to eat garbage. What are the creators and consumers on the Internet ? I am a decomposer. I look for garbage to eat everywhere on the Internet . I am a racer on the Internet. Where are the flies ? Where are the rubbish? Where are the me? I am so happy every night. I found another short play. I am a little obsessed with watching short plays now. I have started to write those cool talk shows. I will show you one I wrote recently. Pay attention. I woke up from a car accident and went back to the moment before I was eliminated from a variety show. The level of talk shows around the world has dropped 100 times. Only I was reborn with my memory. This time I want to change everything. As soon as I opened my eyes, Zhang Shaogang pointed at me and said, “Wu Ding was eliminated. ” I said, “You will regret it. ” Zhang Shaogang was furious and said, ” You are a waste. How dare you talk back? Beat me up !” More than 50 security guards rushed up and were about to beat me up when suddenly… A figure descended from the sky. I stopped and looked closely. It turned out to be Li Dan. All the audience were shocked. What? Even President Dan has come out? Who is this kid? Li Dan ignored everyone else and came straight to me to meet the God. The audience was shocked. What ? Could he be the legendary God of Humor and Hilarity? I said something about Helicobacter pylori. All the audience went crazy and said this was too funny. This magical skill of homophonic puns has been lost for a hundred years. I stood on the stage and smiled evilly. The talk show should change. This is the joke I am writing now. I have been at home for a year and have not written any golden sentences . I have written a short play. I said this is not useless. I said I had to think of a way. Finally , I came up with a self-help plan for myself. Let’s not watch anything. Self-discipline isolate all sources of temptation. Make a self-discipline plan to go to bed early and get up early to create for 6 hours every day. I failed on the first day. I lay in bed at 10 o’clock on the first day. I started to plan for the second day. Get up at 8 o’clock in the morning, do aerobics on an empty stomach, create for 6 hours , and write 200 hot memes. Thinking about it, I started to fantasize again. I said this is too self-disciplined. With such self-discipline, I will definitely be famous next year . By then, I will earn 10 million. How do you say I will spend it? Then I started to plan this non-existent money. My first thought at that time was to save it in the bank. 10 million yuan deposited in a fixed deposit to earn interest. This conservative way of financial management sounds like old poor people. You can’t do anything about it. People’s imagination is constrained by material conditions. Have you ever seen poor people write cool articles? Mrs. Hu celebrated her 80th birthday. Luxury cars gathered in front of her house. I fantasized about buying a villa. At that time, I thought I had to buy one near the subway for convenient commuting. I had no choice but to start checking which bank had the highest interest rate. The rural credit cooperative had the highest interest rate of 2.15% for more than three years. That was my 10 million yuan thrown in. I did nothing every year and got 215,000 yuan with my consumption level. I am financially free. I can save hundreds of thousands every year . I will save more and add more to my holdings in the rural credit cooperatives (genius). Money makes money. The more I think about it, the more excited I get. I have already figured out how I am going to save money. I wear tattered clothes. I carry my cash in a woven bag and go to the rural credit cooperatives. The bank manager will definitely look down on me and slap me in the face as soon as I enter the door. How can a beggar dare to enter our bank? I calmly opened the woven bag and opened your dog eyes to look at the cash. The light went straight into the sky. The manager said something, and the bank president was also startled. He jumped down from the third floor and slapped the manager in the face. Bastard Do you know that the entire city of A can’t come up with 10 million? You are fired. I’m sorry for not recognizing a great man . This is our Rural Credit Cooperative Global VIP (membership) black card. Then I will personally give you a book full of golden sentences, “Be good, pat on the head.” The more I think about it, the more excited I get. The more I think about it, the more immersed I am. I had forgotten that I didn’t have the 10 million. My buddy was playing with virtual currency. I am really a person who loves to fantasize too much. I wanted to go to bed early and do virtual financial management until two o’clock. My success does not rely on hard work, but purely on fantasy. The pure fantasy version of success. I love to fantasize too much now. After I fantasize too much, I even have a new idea now. I think fantasy is more cost-effective than hard work. I have thought about it carefully, friends. You may not succeed if you work hard, but you will definitely be tired . I may not realize my fantasy, but it will definitely be cool. You work hard to succeed, have fame and fortune , enjoy life, and finally get happiness. I fantasize about being happy directly and I don’t have to work hard. Brother, pure happiness. The shortcut to life is to live in fantasy. The biggest advantage of fantasy is that fantasy will never go wrong. The reality is not like this. The happiest time for you when traveling is before you set off. You imagine how unique the destination is. When you get there, you find that they are all the same. Potato tarts, grilled sausages, big squids. I miss you very much in Shanghai. The happiest time for you when shopping online is when you wait for the express delivery. You imagine how good-looking the clothes are when you put them on . After the clothes arrive, you find that they are models. The happiest time for you when you are in love is when you just meet each other and imagine how good the other person is. You think you have found a prince, but when the mask is torn off, it is Yang Zi. This is real life. The shortcut to life is to live in fantasy. I have endured for a year and I have realized it. Today I will share it with you for free. The main purpose of my appearance on the show this time is to enlighten the people. I didn’t have time. I didn’t even write the original manuscript. I originally said one sentence when I came up: 99% of Chinese people are living wrongly. Now dream with me . When that time comes After the show is broadcast, the audiences across the country will surely be enlightened. You are right. Thank you, Your Excellency, for enlightening us. We will always follow the God. Thank you, everyone. I am Wu Ding . Thank you, the hilarious God . Everyone , hurry up and vote for the God. Come to Wu Ding to lock the votes. Countdown. Thank you, thank you, everyone. I’m sorry, Mr. Wu Ding . I just needed a villain and I just happened to run into you. You need a villain. There are so many villains in the world. What I want to say is that I don’t care at all who will compete with the God. Look at this mentality. It ‘s so good. This year, the short dramas really sublimated you. You have changed a person and are not the same as last season . This is the real me. Last season, I was a fake . The proud son of heaven was scalded to death. Because last season, I thought that for the first time, I might write something that I thought was more online, but I found that the effect was not very good. I said, then just be yourself. When you pass by a mirror, will you look at yourself? Look, the God has eyes but does not recognize Mount Tai , but it turns out to be a mirror. I like it so much . I think the golden sentence you said is already golden. It’s already too golden. The shortcut to life is fantasy , right ? I think I have been enlightened by this sentence. It’s about time. The great teacher is really true. I think no matter how much we have, it is ultimately for happiness, right? You are already living in that happiness in advance. That’s called prefabricated happiness . I filmed it, but I hesitated for a long time. Why is there this
? Because although everyone laughed happily throughout the whole process , his vulgar jokes made people feel strongly ashamed. Just like many people around us watch skits, although they watch them secretly and pay for them secretly , they pretend not to watch them when they get to the company, saying that they don’t watch those things of your company . That’s right. Think back to the early days of Mr. Stephen Chow, he also took those vulgar things and deconstructed them. But halfway through, his ideological realm and profound connotation became higher. Although it is still that kind of nonsensical comedy and deconstruction, I really hope to see you on this track and not just stay at the present. It’s so simple and fun . Thank you, Mr. Luo. This is the first time someone has said this about micro-short dramas on the talk show stage , and they have turned micro-short dramas into their own talk shows so smoothly . It’s amazing . Thank you everyone , take a break. The one who will compete with Wu Ding is a group of manzai actors. They are also from comedy and jokes . In manzai, there are usually two fools , one pretending to be stupid and the other complaining , but these two people The characteristic is that everyone thinks they are smarter than the other. Applause. Welcome. Safe exit. Hello, everyone. There are also some above. Hello, everyone . I am B. I am the captain. We are the safe exit. Thank you everyone. I have watched a lot of short videos recently. I have also watched a lot of short dramas . If I do n’t watch short dramas, I have watched a lot of high-end restaurant exploration videos. I also like to watch this, right? I have never been there. I ask you , if you are given an opportunity, give me an opportunity . What opportunity would you choose to eat in a relatively high-end place? What is it? Slow down. What is it? Your partner suddenly died. Your partner suddenly died. Let’s go to the banquet. Although I have never been there, I think that kind of place must pay attention to service. I think this is also the case . Let’s come for a while. Can you serve me? Hello, sir . Hello , we have been waiting for you for a long time. Thank you. If you are alone, please take a seat. This is our menu. Please take a look at it, sir. Don’t fold our iPad (tablet computer). This is an iPad (tablet computer). Sorry , I have a strong hand . Let me take a look at this seafood set meal. Seafood set meal . The seafood set meal is a little more complicated. There is this ingredient selection process. Select the ingredients now. Our ingredients today include king crab, tuna, grouper fish Grouper Corpse grouper Sounds like it’s been dead for a year This fish Grouper, you chose grouper Yes, grouper, your choice is mine . Why is there a reverse selection session for Na Ying’s team? The mentor selection is here. Then I choose king crab King crab Yes , king crab Sorry, sir, there is no king crab. Just now, the king crab was overthrown by the worker crab. I heard your accent. You are from the Northeast, yes, you are from the Northeast. Please allow me to make a chicken and mushroom dish for you . Chicken stewed with mushrooms. Chicken mixed with mushrooms. Can chicken mixed with mushrooms be eaten? Hey , don’t underestimate our chicken . Who has a bond with you ? What are you burning about? You , we don’t use ordinary chickens here, not ordinary chickens. We use our own carefully cultivated flat-billed chickens. Flat-billed chickens , right ? Isn’t that a duckling? Isn’t that the quacking duckling? Isn’t that the one called duckling ? The duck that makes beef, don’t make beef. Don’t let the duck make beef. Just let the duck be itself, okay ? So hot, thank you everyone. We are the safe exit. Thank you. I feel that manzai itself is a very difficult art form to operate. It is because he has to act crazy and stupid like a mental patient. There seems to be a little bit of intelligence left in their performance. The word ” remain” is completely stupid , completely like a mental patient, just a little bit away from that. It feels that if you are a little more mentally ill or a little more stupid, you will reach that state of perfection. Now you are still a little smart, right? After all, this is the first appearance on this stage. There has been a very good performance. We invited Wu Ding back to the stage again. Let’s take a look at the votes of the two groups of excellent actors. Wu Ding 240 votes. Congratulations to Wu Ding for entering the promotion zone. The safe exit, come on, you need to be in the pending zone