上海牛马话术回应苏北催婚问题，45岁未婚女士用工作代替孩子？丨《脱口秀和Ta的朋友们 第二季》 STAND-UP COMEDY2
The next two people to compete are Kid and Wang Xiaoli. The friend who came on stage first left a deep impression on everyone last year . Last year, he told many stories about himself, his work, and his family. This year, he decided not to tell stories and decided to share his ideas with everyone. Applause, welcome Kid. Hello everyone, I am Kid. Hello everyone , I like Da Dao’s performance very much, but what I bring today is still the traditional talk show . I have been performing for the past year. Two days before the performance , I received a private message from the audience asking Kid, can we meet after the performance today? Does anyone know what it means? What does it mean? Stage door (cast and crew entrance) asked if I could take a photo with you at the cast and crew entrance or something SD (cast and crew entrance) How would I know ? How would I know ? I thought for a long time and replied with a “yes” . Let’s meet in Shandong if there’s a chance SD (cast and crew entrance) Because our audience is too young now. There are still many people in my private messages saying that Kid (Kid) just graduated and is very confused. I don’t know which is better, my hometown or a big city . Based on my limited experience, of course the big city is better, right ? I only hear this in Shanghai . If it doesn’t work, go back to my hometown. I have never heard this in my hometown in northern Jiangsu. If it doesn’t work, go to Shanghai. You know, if this sentence appears in our county, there is only one situation . You If this disease cannot be cured, then go to Shanghai. I came to Shanghai in 2018 with 10,000 yuan that I had saved up with great difficulty . I found that it is more difficult to survive here than I thought. First of all, you come from a county town and you have no idea about Shanghai. When I rented a house, I told the agent that I wanted to find a three-bedroom, one-living room , fully decorated house near the People’s Square with a budget of less than 2,000 yuan. The agent was also quite humorous and said, “Hey, young man , we don’t have this house. Yours won’t work. Let’s go to Lego to have a look. ” One day I liked a partition that cost 2,500 yuan. I said it was okay, and there was 7,500 yuan left. The agent laughed again and said, “In Shanghai, the deposit is one and the payment is three. 2,500 yuan, the deposit is one and the payment is three. Ten thousand yuan . I have saved for so long. The 10,000 yuan I saved was gone in one day in Shanghai . How can I say that moment? Just like magic (just like magic) It’s such a magic, right? It’s such a magic that I gritted my teeth and rented it, but I couldn’t leave in disgrace. I had no money to use, so I could only sell some of the sneakers and trendy brand clothes I bought before. As time went by, the closet became emptier and emptier. One day when I opened the closet, I was desperate. I said, this is not leaving in disgrace, why should I leave naked? I left Shanghai with nothing. I had to hold on in the end. I didn’t go back because I knew that my hometown is not 100% comfortable and smooth. My hometown has its own difficulties. In the past two years, everyone has been saying that big cities are miserable. Has anyone paid attention to the slaves in county towns? Work six days a week and rest one day. There is no social security, and you can’t change even if you want to. The job is begged for you by your parents through several levels of relationships. There is no concept of job-hopping at all. You will lie flat on this job for the rest of your life, right? The most important thing is that if you work as a slave in Shanghai, your boss will only let you work. You were a cow and a horse in your hometown, and your relatives forced you to mate every day . Now every time I go home, I have to use the rhetoric of Shanghai cows and horses to deal with the cows and horses in northern Jiangsu. You have to put the major events in life first. I said I received it , and you have to prioritize . I said okay, okay, you have to get married quickly and have the baby quickly. I will give it to you next week at the latest , and your family may not be able to help you. There is a saying called “county Brahmins”, which means that the county is a caste system, and those resources are monopolized by major family businesses. Xiao Liu’s father produces, Xiao Li’s father exports, Xiao Sun’s father does the accounting , and Xiao Zhao’s father checks the accounts . Several fathers form a Dadline (Dad Line), and their businesses are all very big, and the units of measurement every day are tens of thousands. My father’s daily business is not only measured in tens of thousands , but also in biscuits . Some people are born Brahmins. Some people are born with a lack of a skill. So for those of us who have no family background and no business, we are forced to stay in big cities. If we have no background , we can only go to Beijing . If we don’t have a business, we can only go to Shanghai . Anyway, no matter where you go, it’s not easy for ordinary people. Our lives are full of suffering. Otherwise, why are people from all walks of life talking about getting ashore? I just think that after you choose a sea of suffering, you don’t care what others say. People often tell me that they have never been to Shanghai and tell me that Shanghai is not good. Why do you go there? Shanghai is just a paradise for rich people . I don’t understand this sentence. Shanghai is just a paradise for rich people. Isn’t it a paradise for rich people wherever they go ? Even if it is really a paradise for rich people, this is exactly why I came from the county town. The most needed thing for the paradise is staff , right ? We come to make money. Wherever there are rich people, there are money and opportunities. Because in the eyes of rich people, money is omnipotent. You don’t know what they will do with the money. It’s inexplicable and you can’t understand it. It ‘s very likely that tomorrow a Shanghai tycoon will say, “Oh, every night before going to bed, I want to hear someone tell me some homophonic puns by the bed. How can I find one? Where can I find one?” I immediately rushed over and said, “Brother, where else can you find one? Is n’t there a county town?” They also said that people living in Shanghai are indifferent and lonely. This is true, but I think we have to look at this issue dialectically. Indifference also means that all the difficulties that occurred in Shanghai were solved by ourselves , right?
If you can survive in Shanghai, you won’t die in other places. So many things have happened in these years, right? Are n’t we still working hard and doing good things here every day? Will it raise your threshold for being knocked down by difficulties? Because difficulties don’t come one by one. It’s very likely that one day when I was 60 years old, I woke up in bed and found that my parents had passed away on the same day, my spouse had also passed away, and my children didn’t care. I went online and saw that the retirement age had been delayed again. I have lived in Shanghai, and I can also maintain that sense of relaxation. The first thing I would do is to have a cup of coffee first. I think, let alone loneliness. Loneliness means that no one cares about you. You can live in any way. Look at those people on Anfu Road, they are just basking in the sun. If you are in your hometown , this is called not doing your job, being idle, being lazy , and being lazy. In Shanghai , this is called gap. There is this magic in Shanghai. In Shanghai , you can just find a place to lie down and feel the Shanghai paralysis. Mr. Luo , Mr. Luo is stimulated again. No one cares what job you have or whether you are married. My house Grandma Dong is 70 years old and has never had children or married. One Chinese New Year when I didn’t go home, she made me a New Year’s Eve dinner. I was very touched and drank a little. I cried to her about how my parents suppressed me, how my relatives squeezed me, and how my classmates laughed at me . She wiped my tears and comforted me in a very Shanghai way. She said that poor places are like this. Why do I talk about this? Because in the past two years, many friends around me have left Shanghai , including my psychologist. I asked him why, and he said he couldn’t stay here because he was too anxious. I persuaded him for a long time, but he was very capable because it only took him 3 days from the decision to the move. So I want to wish all friends who want to leave the big city have the courage to leave at any time . I also hope that our friends who decide to stay in the big city have a reason not to leave. Having said that, thank you for watching the overall situation. Thank you Kid for the performance . Come on, Kid ( ( Kid) The countdown to lock the tickets has begun. Applause again. Thank you, Kid. Thank you , Kid. I just mentioned that in the last season and last year, you shared more about your life stories, including work and family, etc. This is the first time this season that you chose to express your feelings on stage. Why? I just want to say that it seems that this is an idea that everyone has been struggling with in the past two years . Maybe many friends have lost their jobs or something like that . It seems to be something worth discussing . Yes, in fact, life has its advantages and difficulties wherever it is . Kid is a contestant I have always liked. I was very happy to listen to him today and laughed the whole time. Then I took a quick look at him and I felt that three lights were enough today because he was not in his best condition. Also, don’t be unhappy about this. I was a little sad just now. What happened here ? The person in charge of the pun on the stage is gone. Are you guys so free? Mr. Luo , Mr. Luo was stimulated again and left Shanghai clean ? Is Dadline only in Shanghai counties? Shanghai paralysis puns have always been a huge temptation to humans and creators because it’s fast , so I was very happy to listen to it. But just now I was thinking about so many puns, and then suddenly I remembered someone. Yes, there ‘s nothing else , there’s nothing else. My feeling after listening to this part is actually different from Mr. Luo’s. I think Kid has entered a club like talk show actors. It ‘s called how to act and how to be a talk show actor. He needs a performance to complete that difficult leap . From now on, I will be extremely confident and I can move forward. I ‘m especially happy for Kid. I understand that he has been waiting for this moment , and the content of this performance itself is very good. Fortunately, it created two Kids, one is Kid from northern Jiangsu and the other is Kid who drifted in Shanghai. These two people are always fighting and struggling in his body , encouraging each other. When I was not doing well in Shanghai, the Kid from northern Jiangsu told me that I could come back. They gave each other strength. So at that moment, I was actually laughing happily while listening, but at the same time, I felt a little sad inside because you understand what many people are going through . They were not born in Shanghai or Beijing. So he actually told the story very well. Yes, thank you, Teacher Lu Yu, thank you, Kid. He gave you very life-like details, including when he was talking about the Tong Tiao Wan and the comfort given to him by the Shanghai aunt. I think this kind of thing will move us because it will appear in some scenes in our lives, so I think we will empathize with it or believe it . And Kid is actually fine whether he stays in Shanghai or goes back to his hometown. Whether you like sweet-scented osmanthus fragrance or mosquito coils, just use Meituan flash purchase and they will be delivered to your home in a flash. Thank you again, Kid, for the wonderful performance you brought us. Thank you, thank you everyone , and Kid. PK’s friend Wang Xiaoli has a very sharp understanding of the world , but her performance is subtle. She is also a newcomer. She deserves our warm applause. Applause for Wang Xiaoli. Welcome . Hello everyone. I am Xiaoli . Hello. I am 45 years old and have never been married . Every time I say I won’t get married, People always ask me why, but I can’t find a reason . I’m the kind of person who has never dreamed of wearing a wedding dress since I was a child. The only feeling that wedding dresses give me is that they are too tight . I’m really annoyed by being asked this question, so I said it’s hard to find someone because my conditions are not good enough. He said your conditions are not bad. I said, “Really?” Tell me what’s not bad . He said, “This is just a chat. Why are you making things difficult for me? ” But if you don’t get married, you will really encounter a lot of problems. Now when they ask me questions, they won’t ask if I’m married or have children. They will directly ask what grade your child is in. In order to deal with this situation, I made up a child who is 10 years old. I don’t need to make up too much information. I just need to say that my grades are good to win. What grade is your child in? He is in the fourth grade and his grades are average. Although he is first in the grade , he is only third in the whole Chengdu. Generally, no one will continue to ask after this point . No one wants to share other people’s success. They are even afraid that I want to continue talking. Someone even asked me, “Old.” What does a husband do? When I encounter such a situation, I will not invent a husband for myself because I think it is easy to invent a child , but it is too difficult to invent a man. My inventiveness is too good and others do not believe me. My inventiveness is too real. The more I invent, the angrier I get. I cannot invent a real good man. Later, when someone asked me about my husband, I would say forget it, don’t mention it. They would assume that I have a husband. Although I am not married , my friends of the same age are all married. When they are in their 30s, they will still show off to me how happy they are. I asked, how can you be happy when you have two children so hard? She said that although it is hard , she gets up in the morning to cook for them, sends them to school, picks them up after school , cooks for them, and tutors them. When she finally finishes her work and lies in bed looking at them, she really feels very happy. I thought to myself, how is that possible? But later I found out that she was not lying, because one time I got up early in the morning to catch a plane to attend a meeting in another city, and after the meeting she performed After the performance , there were meetings again. When I finally finished my work and lay on the bed looking at the ceiling, I felt very happy. People feel very happy when they rest after hard work. But it can be very hard without children . Having a job is enough. Using work to replace children is not only hard work , but also money. When you get the money, you can be really happy. There is also a friend who gets up at 6 o’clock in the morning to cook for her husband and children, and then takes pictures and sends them to the group. Everyone is praising her and envying her, but I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t awake at that time , so she tagged me and said that you can’t understand the happiness of having a husband and children like me. At about 12 o’clock, I finally woke up. I looked at the messages in the group and replied with a ” just woken up” message . I thought to myself, I have to get up at 6 o’clock to cook, not 7 o’clock. I have to get up to eat. I feel that their family of three doesn’t sleep as much as I do alone. Many people think that not getting married is a miserable thing. Even if I sleep until I wake up naturally every day, others will still say that hard times are ahead of me. I don’t know how far ahead they are . Until one time, I was having a meal with my friend and her husband. While eating, they suddenly started quarreling. I was stunned for a moment. I felt like I was back in my original family. I didn’t dare to speak or move. She said that her husband couldn’t even park the car, so what else could he do? Her husband said that she was a psychopath. I thought to myself that they quarreled because I couldn’t drive. If I could drive , I would help them park the car. Should I go learn to drive? Thinking of this, I felt that it was wrong. I’m not 8 years old anymore , so I turned around and said to my friend, “You two should get a divorce. I’ll be with you later. ” I told her not to bring her husband with her anymore because I couldn’t stand couples quarreling. Sure enough, she stopped bringing him with her. Every time she sat down, she started scolding her husband. She felt that her husband was not there, but he was everywhere. She cried every time and said she wanted a divorce. She cried for years but didn’t want to divorce. It turned out that she only told me about the divorce and didn’t tell her husband. Of course, she would sometimes care about me and tell me that I always come here to talk about my troubles. I feel a little embarrassed. You can also talk to me about your troubles . I don’t have any troubles , but I realized that I must have some because troubles are the token of our friendship. I had to make up troubles. I said that I had a quarrel with my mother, and she said so too, and then she took over the topic. I thought to myself, fortunately, she has troubles in all aspects. If she really cared about me , I would be exposed. A few days ago, I was with a few friends We went to eat barbecue, and one of my friends insisted on waiting for her husband to come before we could eat. The others also said okay, let’s wait for him together. Anyway, we’re not hungry now . I thought to myself, weren’t we all hungry on the way here ? How come I’m not hungry anymore when I smell the barbecue ? I want to object , but I’m afraid that others will think I can’t stand being hungry at all. My ability to delay gratification is too poor. Everyone knows that people with poor ability to delay gratification will definitely have no future . But if I don’t eat again , I will have no future. I want to leave, but I feel that I’m going too far . Why can others tolerate it but I can’t? Am I too concerned about my own feelings ? When will I be able to change this habit of eating when I’m hungry? How can I be starving and reflect at the same time? I should resist and wait for my husband . What is my husband waiting for ? Why should I wait for her husband? Her husband is not my dish. My dish has already been served. Why can’t you let me eat? So I stood up and asked, ” Why hasn’t your husband come yet ?” “Did you make him up ?” “In the past, in order to fit in, I had to make up children , husbands , and even worries. But what if I don’t fit in? Anyway, I ‘m still unmarried at my age . I’m the only one around me. No one knows what a 45-year-old who’s still unmarried should do. Then I can do whatever I want . Anyway, no matter what I do, I’m a role model. Thank you everyone. I’m Xiaoli . So cool, so good. Applause to Wang Xiaoli. Wang Xiaoli is an awesome newcomer. This is a newcomer. The countdown to the newcomer Wang Xiaoli is on. Applause again to Wang Xiaoli. Great! Xiaoli, girl Xiaoli, girl Xiaoli, you’ve had it before. A lot of offline performances? I said I’ve been doing talk shows for 6 years. How often do I perform? How many times a month? Because I can’t perform too much at my age , and Chengdu doesn’t require so much effort. I feel that I can survive by just performing. I don’t need to be too excited . Just now, Chunchun specifically asked with a little disbelief, ” You ‘re really a newcomer ,
right? How can you be so good ? I don’t think you
have a good grasp of the stage, right? It’s great, really great. I’m Yumi, that’s for sure. I voted for you many years ago. Thank you . At that time, it was still SMS voting. That was your only worry , right? At that time, I felt that I wanted to cheer for Li Yuchun. It’s great . It feels like the great teacher .” I don’t know why it’s so good . It’s because you know there’s a kind of actress who is very magical. It’s like she has opened her third eye. She can see what you’re experiencing every day, but you just turn a blind eye to it . Then when she passes by, she sees it all in her eyes, remembers it all in her heart, and remembers it all in her own jokes. I think this is very powerful. Some people say that it’s a God-given voice and these are God-given eyes. She can see things that others can’t see, but you can see that thing every day. I think this is really amazing. Thank you for being so confident when you said that you have no worries. The whole audience was shocked. I think that’s very good and magical. You feel that every one of her ideas is very tricky and weird , but in fact, they are all in line with common sense. Yes , other people are abnormal, but she is very normal. She is extremely normal from beginning to end. She actually takes the sense of deviation to the extreme . I think when you listen to her stuff, you will feel that your brain has been bombarded with waves of bombardment. The content of the bombardment is actually very everyday things , but that everyday life is like her. She is a bit like the child in the Emperor’s New Clothes. For example, the point that Sister Lu Yu and I took at the same time was that your husband is not my cup of tea. That’s the thing. It seems to be like this , right? But it’s impossible that there won’t be an adult saying such a thing at the table . She said, ” I’m hungry. How can I change my bad habit of eating when I’m hungry? ” Her words sounded like something a child would say, but she was so right . She didn’t just break the window paper, she tore it off . I was very moved after listening to her because she was actually telling us that life should be diversified. You should know that I had a personal experience . Last year, I sometimes organized audiences to watch movies offline. After the movie was over, a friend of mine told me that he was so angry at the time and said that there were several people sitting next to him. One of them was a man. The man pointed at me excitedly and asked me why Luyu was no longer young and could still do so many programs and host programs at this age. Why? Because she didn’t have a husband or children. In fact, I could completely believe that she didn’t have any ill intentions at that moment . Later, I actually thought back that if I were a male host, he would definitely not say why he could still do so many things at this age , because of this and that . We are actually trapped in many restrictions and shackles . At a certain stage , if you don’t choose a more mainstream lifestyle , you may face some difficulties. So she was able to speak in that way. I actually felt very encouraged in my heart just now. If I could hear her speech earlier , I would feel more confident, so I would feel very good. Thank you, Xiaoli. Just now you said that you don’t have any worries , but you have to come to this stage to participate in such a competition. Will you feel anxious or stressed ? In March, I was actually quite anxious because at that time , I felt that there were too many desires in my mind . I was a little worried about gains and losses. I felt that I was going to be on the show, and what if you become famous? You must be famous, so you can’t go to the park every day. You know , then at that time, I was a little worried about gains and losses. Then when I went to the Goat to participate in the open mic, my condition was not very good. Then once when I came down from the open mic, I started to blame myself on the way off the stage and said, “What’s wrong with you? You have been acting for six years and you can’t even perform well in an open mic. At that moment, I woke up. I said, Wang Xiaoli, why are you blaming yourself? Because I have rarely blamed myself in my life. Because when I started to blame myself, I was suddenly awakened. I thought my body has done so many things with me. It accompanied me to perform special shows and to come to Shanghai to participate in programs. I kept revising the manuscripts. It has been so hard, and you still blame it. You shouldn’t blame it. You should love your body. It’s really great. It made me want to cry. Sister Xiaoli is so handsome. Teacher Xiaoli is simply. I tell you that this mentality is a walking dream, do you know? I hope that in the performances below, we can hear such sharing from you . Yes, because I think the soul is in the body, so I hope everyone can love their own body . Come on, Xiaoli is awesome. I want to ask more questions. I want to ask more questions. Teacher Niao Niao Niao, I think your evaluation is special. I like it because from the perspective of creating talk shows, this topic is not new , so she can still talk about it so well. In fact, it is because the language is very accurate, and then she can be accepted by everyone in such a plain way . I think that when she expresses her ideas, it is not because you want to listen to what she wants to say, but when she speaks out, you believe that this is what she thinks. She just stands there and talks about her ideas. It is very attractive, very convincing, and very charming . So
I like her very much. She performed this script very well today. I am very happy for you . Thank you, thank you, Teacher Haiyuan. You can’t walk around the park freely in the future. Thank you, Niaoniao, thank you, Haiyuan, and thank you Xiaoli for your performance. We invited Kid to Taichung. It’s great . Let’s take a look at the support rate given by the Laughing Friends Group. Kid (Kid) 30 Xiaoli 40 Let’s take a look at the PK of this group. I think we have done quite well. If there is anything that we have not done, it is because of our lack of ability. In fact, I was a little nervous backstage , but I suddenly realized that in fact, all this will pass. So you just play well. I don’t have any other ideas . Very, very close to Wang Xiaoli 282 votes Kid (Kid) 260 votes I feel like Xiaoli’s innocence is magnified on this stage. That kind of innocent and sincere little observation is very touching. I think Xiaoli’s sister really made a deep point for me. Maybe the answer is under your feet, but we often can’t see the step under our feet. But Xiaoli really used her very calm tone to make me We saw that it was so simple. I think this Xiaoli sister showed us the power of simplicity. Wang Xiaoli got 282 votes. We want to congratulate Wang Xiaoli for entering the promotion zone . Wait , someone is going to give it to Kid. Let’s keep one of us , or I’ll do it. Okay, the main reason is that I have a habit of delaying everything, but now I think I should learn from Xiaoli. Just express what you feel and do what you want to do. I think Kid will definitely have a very good performance this season , so I am willing to give him this opportunity. Thank you . I’ll wait a little longer. For you, wait a little longer. Chunchun, ok . Luyu’s wait light was given to Kid, so congratulations to Kid for entering the promotion zone. Thank you, sister Luyu, thank you, sister Chunchun, thank you.