雪冰VS小块，到底谁才是面试官啊？一个不擅长做生意的富二代脱口秀演员！丨《脱口秀和Ta的朋友们 第二季》 STAND-UP COMEDY2
Hello, everyone. I’m Xue Bing. Thanks to my friends on the second floor. I ‘m so happy. It’s obvious, right? I’m the soul of our team. If I’m not in this team , we can only be called Wu Tiao Ren. Let me explain to you that this arm of mine was caused by an accident when I was a child. High voltage electricity is nothing new. I was very happy when I received the invitation from the program team this year. Sure enough, the disability certificate is the green card to the program. This section is a team system . To be honest , I was quite lonely when I first started selecting people, because this year I was the only one on this track , which made it less fun. Then I found two people who looked relatively normal to form a team. After forming the team, we had to give it a name. They thought about it for a long time . At first, they said that the team name should be Two and a Half Men, which I didn’t think was accurate. I said that I was at least three-quarters. Later, I thought of Wu Tiao Ren and Wu Tiao Hands . They laughed happier than you at the time. Sure enough, I said that they were too human and couldn’t be friends with me. I think we have won half of the game with this name. I even think it’s a bit unfair. Forget it, I’ll just give them one hand. A few days ago , I was chatting with a friend who has been eliminated. He became more and more excited as he talked . He looked at my sleeve and suddenly said, “Your thing is the best.” I said, “If you are so envious, you can also come to our track this round. Let me tell you a story from my childhood. When I was about 5 years old, I had an accident. At that time , I was actually facing a very difficult dilemma . I had to learn to write in less than a year so that I could go to preschool smoothly. But in fact, before the accident, I could write with my right hand, and I wrote quite well. Now I have to learn it again and it is hard to accept. If I had known that I had electrified my left hand, it would not be easy to write with my left hand. It is not easy, especially writing with a pencil. After writing, the handwriting will be smeared by the palm of my left hand. After writing, you can see that the word looks a bit like gradient art words. My mother coaxed me and said, “It’s okay , let’s think of a way. We can write from right to left and from top to bottom. The ancients wrote in that way. I felt that I was born at the wrong time. If you were born in ancient times, not only would writing be convenient, but there would also be no high voltage electricity. At that time, I was actually young and impatient, so I couldn’t practice. I often practiced for a while. I would cry and make a fuss, and my mother would try to comfort me and stuff a piece of candy into my mouth. What can I say? The more I practiced my left hand , the more flexible it became, and the fuller my body became. Others thought that I relied on perseverance to develop my left hand , but in fact it was just conditioned reflex. I talked to my mother before and asked her who taught me these tricks at that time. My mother said, “Of course not. I saw police dogs on TV were trained in this way.” Maybe it was because my mother trained me too well at that time. Soon I could take care of myself in many things, and I didn’t feel that I was any different from the people around me. After I went to school, I quickly became friends with my classmates. I was beaten and I also beat others. In fact, at that time, children were young and didn’t have so many thoughts. Their minds were very simple , and no one thought that I was a disadvantaged group. Although I was at a disadvantage in terms of fists and feet , I had the advantage in physique. After all , all those years of candy were not in vain. But no matter who I fought with, I looked like the victim. Sometimes, even if I won, the teacher would come and scold the other party, saying that it was too outrageous. How could you bully Xuebing? My classmates were also confused and said, “Yes, how can you bully Xuebing?” When I was a child, I am indeed fat and not good at sports, and I am a bit autistic. Then my mom encouraged me and said don’t be afraid, play with classmates more , we are not bad at anything. I listened to her and played football with my classmates. They asked me what position I wanted to play, I said it didn’t matter. They asked me to be a goalkeeper . The principle of goalkeeping is similar to that of the empty city plan. It mainly depends on momentum. The opposing players saw me with confusion in their eyes and said that they had never seen a goalkeeper so arrogant. Look at how he stood there with one hand in his pocket. To be honest , I was actually panicking. I had no choice but to take a gamble. I bet that my defender would not let the ball enter the penalty area. I also bet that the opposing player was moral and he was embarrassed to kick me on the right. But what I didn’t expect was that my defender also wanted to see how I was goalkeeping. How could a kid playing football have morals? The game that day was exciting . How can I say it? Half of the 40-0 score were own goals. In those years, my mom encouraged me to be brave and confident , and protected me silently. Every New Year and other festivals, she would secretly give gifts to the teacher and ask the teacher to take care of me , and she would also buy snacks for some classmates so that they Taking me along to play, there is no such thing as a peaceful life. It’s just that my mother silently “bribed” me. In fact, I dare to stand on the stage and give a talk show. In fact, I have to thank my mother for daring to stand on the stage and give a talk show. Once before, the school held a speech contest and my mother encouraged me to participate. I didn’t dare and didn’t know how to give a speech. My mother said don’t be afraid, it’s simple, just like the toast on the New Year’s table in our family. It’s mainly about momentum. I teach you. She taught me word by word. Not only taught me confidence, but also taught me typos and tongue twisters. This is how she taught me. She said that people have joys and sorrows, separations and reunions , the moon has yin and yang, waxing and waning , and this has been difficult since ancient times. On the day of the competition, I stood in the big auditorium of the school facing all the teachers and students in the school , but I was still nervous . I said that today I would recite a poem by Su Dongpo, Shui Ge Diao Tou, for everyone . That was my first time to blow up the stage . Although I lost the competition , I brought joy to everyone. Thanks to Shui Ge. In fact, I didn’t know it until later. In fact , during the most difficult period after I had the accident , my mother almost gave up hope. One time, she took me home on a bicycle, and then she suddenly cried while walking . Then she took me to the train track. I was young at that time , but I immediately discovered my mother’s intention. I was so scared that I shouted out the famous saying , “Mom, life is not a track but a wilderness .” I was just kidding. In fact, neither of us can remember what we said exactly at that time , but according to her recollection , it was my comfort at that time that made her give up the idea of committing suicide. I was 5 years old that year and got a new life by the railway. So you can also call me Tiesheng. Now my mother has retired. Although she already knows that I can be self-reliant, she is still worried and has been secretly saving money for me. She always said that one day when technology advances, she will equip me with a very high-tech prosthetic hand. The prosthetic limb is like the one in science fiction movies that can go to heaven and earth and do everything . I said, “Mom, you don’t need it. After all, I am good at talk show . If one day, I really get that kind of prosthetic limb, I just want to give you a complete hug. Thank you everyone. I am Xue Bing Countdown to lock the tickets for Xuebing. Xuebing’s performances in these few times are very relaxed and lively. Every time he comes up, he says that every time he comes up, he says , “Don’t be nervous ,” and then “Thank you.” There’s no way to explain this energy , right? And, do you know that although Xuebing is in this situation , he has won a championship, right? He is a champion in a certain aspect. Eating melon seeds doesn’t count. I used to play “World of Warcraft”. Have you played it? Is the champion a home champion or something like that? No ,
I played “World of Warcraft” in a version that year. Our team grabbed the world’s first kill. As a member of the team, it was considered a team honor. It’s probably like this, very powerful. You see, playing games and nothing is delayed. As long as there is passion, everything can be done. I took this light to say that I want to give a complete hug. A complete hug. I also hit it at that time. I also hit it at that time. The sensationalism was very advanced, right? Because sensationalism is disgusting, it’s dirty work because he deliberately put it at the last sentence . It was that moment , and then you understood it all at once , and it was so good. I was also overwhelmed at that moment. I was very brave and optimistic. My mother was very beautiful when she was young, just like in artistic photos. My mother said that I was very good when I was a child. I was the leader in the kindergarten. I climbed up the roof and trees every day, and I was crazy, running, playing , and making noises . I was also very competitive. After the accident, it seemed that I rarely took pictures. For a long time in between , I couldn’t find many photos. There were also very few group photos. I want to express my gratitude to them through jokes . I am really grateful to my mother for raising and educating me. I think that is why I am who I am today. Xuebing, I want to ask you something . If there is anything else later , will you talk about a lot of details about your future life with one hand? Because we used to listen to Black Light and he would talk a lot. I am actually looking forward to it and hope that you can talk about it instead of asking me, for example, how to tie shoelaces , how to tie a belt, etc. Are these live demonstrations not included in your works later ? Yes, there will be . I will wait patiently . Okay, there must be a lot of jokes. Thank you, Xuebing, take a break. Let’s see the ability of the soft persimmon sent by the other side. Who is the ability of the soft persimmon sent by the other side ? The first soft persimmon sent by the other side is the boss. Because he shared with us before how he made his club lose 1 million through his own efforts , so he decided to turn himself around today. He wants to share with you some wisdom about being a boss. It ‘s really wise. You have to listen . Let’s applaud and welcome the boss of Kaihua Talk Show, Xiaokuai. Hello , everyone. I am Xiaokuai. I am in good health and mentally normal. I have a happy family. I have never worked and I have a little money. You can tell from your reaction that it is difficult for me to break through the first round in this competition with these conditions , because the talk show competition emphasizes that the happy ones are eliminated. Until last year, I opened a club and dominated the business world. This year, it has reached the third round. The club was opened by Xu Zhisheng and I. Before the opening, we both did a risk assessment. At that time, we both thought that the biggest risk was facing huge income and that human nature could not stand the test of financial capacity . Problems are prone to occur , so the two of us planned and laid out in advance. We resolutely decided to hire a financial officer when there was no financial income. He also reminded me not to be afraid of spending money and to hire the best financial officer. So when I posted the recruitment for that position, I directly chose the highest level of finance , the financial director. On the day of the interview, a middle-aged woman came. She was very professional and wore a professional suit. I was also wearing a professional suit and a Los Angeles Lakers jersey. She walked in and said hello, my name is Lily (name), and I came to interview the financial director. I said hello, my name is Xiaokuai, the CEO. At that time, her eyes changed and she started to look up and down at my Lakers jersey. I asked, “Why are you a Warriors fan?” She said, “No, I never watch football. ” She said, “I have never seen a CEO dressed so casually. ” She was a little uncomfortable with it. To be honest , I felt sorry for her at the time. I said, “You can have freedom in dressing as you slowly adapt to the workplace.” She said, “Okay. ” At that time, she was waiting for me to continue, but it was my first time interviewing someone and I didn’t know what to say. Fortunately, I remembered that an interview is to deepen the understanding of both parties by asking questions. This is called interaction in talk shows. So I opened my mouth and asked, ” Are you here alone?” She was shocked and asked, “What are you doing? ” I said, “Don’t be nervous. My occupational disease is coming back.” At this time, I realized that I couldn’t interact anymore. The more I interacted, the more I was exposed. I was born to be a boss and know how to throw questions to employees. I said, “If you have anything you want to know, you can ask my friends. ” I said, “I have been doing talk shows for 8 years. There is nothing in this industry that I don’t know. ” As a result, Lily (name) confused me with one question. She said, “May I ask what is the organizational structure of your company? I’m not bragging to you. This is the most common thing in my life.” The first time I heard the word “organizational structure”, I could only bite the bullet and say that we are a talk show organization. The main structure is the foreshadowing and the jokes. Sometimes, in order to get on the show, we will add some sharp opinions , but in the end, they will end with forced sublimation. Well , after listening to it, Lily (name) said the two most common words used by people in the workplace when they are too lazy to argue . Okay , then she asked me the second question. How many people are there in the company’s financial team now ? How many people are there in the company’s financial team? The company has only two people in total. It’s hard to say that they are a team. They can only be called a pair. I don’t know if you have ever had that moment where you know the answer but you can’t say it. I can only use a more tactful way. We are still a startup team . Lily (name)’s work experience is indeed rich and she saw through me. That is, the company now has less than 50 people, right? I said it is indeed not that bloated. At that time, I felt that the cognition of these people from big companies still needs to be reduced. Then she asked me a lot of questions. It’s not that I couldn’t answer them, but I didn’t understand the questions at all. She asked me what the financing strategy was, who the balance sheet was connected to, and what the cash flow management process was. How should I describe the scene at that time? It seemed that I was very shrewd because she didn’t get any valuable information from me. I gave the same answer to almost every question. The startup team in the mouth of the boss of the startup team is the ” I can’t do it but I can learn” in the mouth of the employees. Later, she got anxious and asked what kind of work I need to undertake after recruiting me . My idea at that time was that I should make this job very complicated to show my professionalism. I said you have to count the box office of each performance and pay the salary of each employee. You know, she said it was accounting and I caught a loophole. I said what accounting is called bookkeeping. Then she said something that was completely beyond my cognition. She said bookkeeping is the job of accountants and has nothing to do with me as a financial director. At that time, I thought she must be trying to deceive me because the last time I heard this sentence structure was in an article. It was written by Lu Xun and has nothing to do with me, Zhou Shuren. Then she asked me very puzzledly, ” You can just hire an accountant for this job , why do you want to hire a financial director?” I explained my logic to her because in my concept, finance is a more respectable way of saying accounting , just like designers are more respectable ways of saying art, just like talk show actors are more respectable ways of saying ugly people. There are so many people to hire, why hire a financial director? You all know that this director is the most capable one if you have been to a barber shop . I would like to hire a financial manager, but there is no such option. After listening to my explanation, Lily (name) expressed her approval of my work ability. She gave me great recognition and said, “You are so humorous.” Then she explained to me in detail the difference between accounting, finance and financial director. I thought she knew a lot at the time. I decided on this person, so I asked her if she would like to join our “Blooming Talk Show.” Lily (name) said something that job seekers rarely say during interviews. “That’s all for today. I’ll go back and think about it and then let you know . ” Before she left, she asked me one last question, which finally saved my face. I answered it very smoothly. She asked me where the toilet was. I said, “Just turn right when you go out the door. ” After Lily (name) left, I immediately canceled the next six interviews with financial directors and sat down Reviewing the situation in the empty office , to be honest, I felt humiliated at the time , but I am still very grateful to Lily (name) for teaching me a lot of knowledge , which allowed me to quickly recruit a financial director with half of the budget. I first hired an accountant and then called him the financial director. I often told this story to other friends because I think this story reflects the character arc of my growth in setbacks. Until one day, a friend who works in finance told me that with the scale of your business, you should find an agency to do the accounting, and 3,500 will be enough. I said that it is not much different. I only paid 5,000 a month to our financial department . In fact, I paid 8,000. I only I don’t want to admit that as a capitalist , I am the one who is being exploited. This friend in finance said that 3500 is the annual salary. That day I realized that I am indeed not the kind of boss who is thrifty. I am the Socratic type of boss because the only thing I know is that I know nothing. I know that telling this joke makes me look very stupid, but it is not shameful to admit my stupidity. After all, we are a start-up team and we can still learn. Thank you everyone, I am Xiaokuai , Xiaokuai, the boss of the lock ticket countdown. Do you have anything you want to ask us? Let’s interact. It’s so good. You see, I ‘m happy that I have taken all the photos. If you have any questions, come and ask me these financial knowledge. Maybe Mr. Luo knows more . Not a lot , a little bit more. That’s right. What they told you just now is probably nonsense. We used an accounting company back then. They came to do our accounting every month and then went back. I remember it was more than 10 years ago, and they charged one or two thousand a month. So their 3,500 couldn’t be for a year (it was for a year) . Was it for a year? It’s even lower now. Mr. Luo has been cheated for more than ten years. It’s already more than ten years. It’s already more than ten years. Mr. Luo has been cheated for more than ten years. It’s so miserable. Without Mr. Luo, it only took us one year. But I still think you did the right thing. Why? We used an agency to do our accounting at the time. According to what you said, I was cheated. Even so, after more than a year, we started to make a profit, and then we started to look for a slightly more expensive financial company. The supervisor is not yet at the director level, but after this person came, because the previous accounting company’s accounts were too bad , he came to help us sort out the old accounts , and it took more than a year, right? So you were right to use your own people from the beginning. This is far-sighted, right? Now we can clearly know every amount of money we lose . I remember when you first came, you said that your friends had predicted that you would not be able to enter the third round. They should be feeling very complicated now, because after I finished the last round, the club owners promised me that if I won the king, they would give me all their clubs. Because I promised him that if I won the king, I would give him the club , and he would lose two companies. So today, The day is only halfway through, and there is still a long way to go . Let’s see. Although Brother Kuai has made a lot of progress in this year, his business operations are a mess, but he is really creative. Once negative emotions accumulate, he is completely different from before. Very impressive . Thank you for the evaluation of my colleagues. Thank you. I would like to ask, Boss Kuai, when did this incident happen ? This was when we just opened our business last year. We really recruited a financial director. What is the current size of the company? There are four or five people now. Then let me ask again, your corporate culture is our corporate culture, which is to live. Now it is alive. The mission and vision should be determined on the first day. I dare not say those who have not heard of it. It has grown very fast. It has doubled in a year. Two people have become four or five. Personally , for your club to operate, of course you have to sell tickets. Also, the more actors you sign , the higher the possibility of profitability. Is that right? Yes, in theory. But because I didn’t appear on the show last year , the actors there didn’t trust my comedy ability. So this year I appeared on the show to let everyone know that I also have this ability to help everyone. Friends in Guangzhou and Shenzhen can also give it a try. The basic logic is that if you don’t understand the business, you can just sell the goods . Some entrepreneurs do this and they have made the deal and the talk show is over. Let’s invite Xue Bing back to the scene and take a look at the ticket numbers of Xue Bing and Xiao Kua. Xiao Kua turned a loss into a profit of 279 (votes). Turned a loss into a profit of 279 (votes). If it were in the company, he should be able to stand up straight and be proud.