李宇春：为了超越周笔畅冲了很多钱，孟川宣传反诈骗意识，有色眼镜观看，上天需要重新设定女性身体结构，月经对于女性太痛苦！丨《脱口秀和Ta的朋友们 第二季》 STAND-UP COMEDY2
Hello everyone, I am Meng Chuan (handsome) (too handsome) Actually, this appearance is also troublesome because we often record programs recently and record until late at night. Sometimes I am too busy and go home with makeup on. The security guard downstairs of my building spread rumors that I am engaged in an improper industry. Recently, I always remove my makeup in the studio before going home. He spreads rumors again. Saying that my business has been bad recently is not the most unfortunate thing. The most unfortunate thing is that I was defrauded recently because it is not the first time I was defrauded. In the past, when I went to Shaanxi to see the Terracotta Warriors , I encountered a fake one. There were many half-buried Terracotta Warriors. The tour guide told us that tourists can personally participate in the excavation. You know that we Shandong people like to do some excavation. I didn’t understand the excavator and couldn’t help but go down to dig a few times. After coming up, the tour guide said that the experience fee was 200. At that time, I reflected on myself. It was my own fault that I lacked social experience because they clearly reminded us that they took us to see the Terracotta Warriors Pit . The worst thing was that I stayed in a Terracotta Warriors theme hotel that night. The feature of that hotel is that you sleep on the side of the bed with 6 Terracotta Warriors on one side. So many pairs of eyes staring at you can’t sleep at all . I had no choice but to find a pen to change them all to squinting eyes. Then I lost 1,200 the next day . Then I think my awareness of anti-fraud has improved, because we study Group (study group) writes together every day, but I don’t follow Hu Lan to trade stocks. I think I can do it. I can even withstand the crime of acquaintances. But I was defrauded in the game recently . I play a game called QQ Free Fantasy , a game from the Super Girl era. The game is now full of middle-aged and elderly players. We give suggestions to the game officials and hope that they will increase the game font size. I am usually very simple and honest. I didn’t expect that there would be scammers pretending to be game bosses. The boss I am looking for is called Manchuan Xinghe Ya Qingmeng. The scammer is called Manchuan Xingmeng Ya Qinghe. It is true that I didn’t see it clearly , but it is very difficult to guard against because we Shandong people usually speak upside down . My ingots, mounts, clothes and pants were all defrauded away , so I stood naked on the most prosperous street in the game. Newbies also have newbie outfits. You can tell you’ve been deceived when you are naked. No one will suspect that this person is just too hot. Then I was so angry that I scolded him in the game channel. Although I know all kinds of rhetoric, I can scold him It was all very exaggerated, but at that moment I chose the most primitive and most venting way of cursing, and then I was banned. I was so angry that I ran to the game forum to curse the official why they didn’t make the game font bigger. The game equipment added up to about 10,000 yuan, and then I quickly called the police, but you know that people in that state are incoherent. I called and said, ” Comrade police, someone rode my rabbit and ran away.” The police said, “Please calm down and ask, have you been drinking?” I said, “No , it’s just that a scammer cheated me of all my things, the rabbit and the gun I just bought .” The police said, “The rabbit is not important, you should talk mainly about the gun.” After I explained it clearly, the police said that a special anti-fraud policeman would come to our house in a while . Our house was still quite messy, and I was afraid that the anti-fraud policeman would recognize me, so I quickly packed up my things, but I didn’t expect the police to arrive so quickly. As soon as I opened the door, two policemen came and said, “Didn’t your family report a fraud? Why did it look like a burglary?” Then they asked me how much I was cheated of, and I said, “About 10,000 yuan.” My wife said, “You Where did the more than 10,000 yuan come from? I immediately knew why corrupt officials dared not call the police when they were robbed. Then my wife went to investigate with the police, one to find out where the money was gone and the other to find out where the money came from. The police said , “You two should follow us to the bureau to make a statement.” I said, “Can you two go first ? Otherwise, I’m afraid that others will think something has happened to me.” Our industry is very fragile now. Then the police said, “It’s okay.” Just as I got downstairs, the security guard said, ” We have finally been arrested.” I was sitting in the police car with a lot of thoughts. That day, I could especially understand Cao Cao’s feelings when he was asked to borrow arrows from the straw boat . Zhuge Liang, the big liar, was just bullying Cao Cao. He didn’t see clearly and cheated people out of 100,000 arrows and all their equipment. Moreover, he was so greedy that he had to put arrows on one side and put them on the other side. After loading them frontally, he had to load them upside down. How much did 100,000 arrows cost? Was it easy for Cao Cao to save some money, especially since he had several wives. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got, so I opened “Romance of the Three Kingdoms”, found that episode , and posted a barrage . I have never seen such a shameless person. After posting, I was still not satisfied and sent a Weibo to Teacher Tang Guoqiang The police said, “Are you trying to protect me? ” He asked me if I had any protection for this transaction. I said, “Yes, there is a transaction protection, which means that you can only make a large transaction every half an hour.” The police said, ” So you have been cheated for several hours, right?” I said, “No, because the scammer taught me how to remove the transaction protection on QQ (social media). The police asked, “What other protection measures are there?” I said, “Yes, there are.” I told him, ” Chinese people don’t cheat Chinese people.” There was a girl who was cheated sitting next to me at the time. She was crying the whole time. After I finished telling her story, she started laughing and said, “You are so stupid.” But fortunately, I called the police early. The police and the game company froze the scammer’s account. Most of my equipment was also saved. My chat with the scammer also ended. You haven’t sent messages to each other for more than 1 day. Your little luck has gone out. In fact, I have been struggling over whether to talk about this for the past two days . I’m afraid that if I tell this, all the scammers in the world will know that I am easy to cheat and come to cheat me , and then send a check-in like the talk show audience. Meng Chuan succeeded, but now I have figured it out. Have you seen the Dark Forest Law in “The Three-Body Problem” ? It means that you actively expose your coordinates and someone is watching me, but once they take action , they will also be watched . I am willing to lay a nest for anti-fraud work. Thank you everyone, I am Meng Chuan . Hello, Meng Chuan’s ticket locking channel is open. Applause again for Meng Chuan. Meng Chuan, let me ask one more question. When were you cheated ? May . Will the anti-fraud awareness be stronger now? Now I have enlarged the fonts of all my APPs (applications) and to be honest, friends, when I realized that I was cheated , I told the scammer that I was level 70 now, I said level 80 I was going to invest 100,000 yuan to get the equipment. I will come back to you then. I thought I could play the long game and catch the big fish. I didn’t expect that the liar didn’t know how to delay gratification. We middle-aged people could n’t beat the BOSS (leader) when we were young. Now we have made some money and think that I can beat the BOSS (leader) by charging money. It’s never too late for a gentleman to take revenge, old boy, right? The dream chaser is here . Yes, old boy, I have a dream. Have you ever been cheated before? It ‘s because I trust others too easily . My fans often cheat me. They often send me private messages saying, “Brother Chuan, if you reply to this private message, I will show you a melon.” Then they showed me a watermelon . Who has ever charged money for playing games? No, there was a game a few years ago or 10 years ago called Kart Rider. I also played it and it had a WeChat ranking. Actually , I didn’t buy the car or the equipment at the beginning. Then every night I watched Zhou Bichang and I was ranked ahead. It’s been 10 years and I’m still competing with others. The competition is over, right? Then my competitive spirit was aroused. So I spent a lot of money and bought a very good sports car. I surpassed her . I haven’t told her about this. It’s great. I ‘ll tell her about it the day after tomorrow when I’m on the program. I’m on Luyu. I was particularly touched by the previous part of what Meng Chuan said . He said that he went in and out of the community and the security guards looked at him like that. Because many years ago, I was in Hong Kong (China) and I did that morning news live show. So the security guards in the community saw this girl very strangely for a long time. She went out at four o’clock every morning with messy hair and came back at eight o’clock with full makeup and hair. What was he doing? After a long time, one day he couldn’t help asking me what I do. I work in television. What TV station are you from? I said something and then uncle, you can read a lot of subtexts . The subtexts are that you see I said this girl is a good girl, right? So when I just talked about that part, I had a lot of that, and the picture came back. I think it is very interesting, so I really hope to be able to see Meng Chuan on the stage of the finals. I think I will definitely see him. That ‘s for sure . Thank you again for Meng Chuan’s excellent performance. After Mr. Meng Chuan’s performance, we have to see if he can get more than 290 votes and advance directly . It’s okay. Meng Chuan feels that he can go in directly. Is it possible? It’s hard to say. It’s almost there. Who dares to (stand) draw the ball? Really draw the ball. Because Meng Chuan is from the spear group , so our shield camp must have a friend who chooses to start the countdown to grab the microphone . No one stands, draw the ball . If Rui Ge doesn’t stand, then draw the ball . If Rui Ge doesn’t stand, then draw the ball. Echo (Ran Rong) Echo (Ran Rong) Echo (Ran Rong) Okay, Echo (Ran Rong) stood up. Echo (Ran Rong) is so brave. My sister didn’t expect that she would stand up. Decided to stand? Can you stand? Do you want to stand? Because you won, the votes will not be low. Then you should stand. I feel that it is not that difficult to stand . I want to send off my jokes well. Don’t . We still have the next round. Let’s go. In the next round today, we can still perform slowly. You should be gentle. After all, he is the chief screenwriter teacher , but he may not stand for me. No one in our group stands. No one stands. I won’t stand. I will definitely not stand . I will wait until the end this time. Then I want to challenge him. Then this friend who is about to go on stage has brought us stories about love and family time and time again. Let’s go. Bye, friends , come on , take the initiative back. Applause, welcome Echo (Ran Rong) ) Hello friends, I am Echo (Ran Rong). I stayed in Shanghai this summer. I think Shanghai boys dress more fashionably. They like to wear layered clothes. But boys in our area still prefer minimalism. Because many times I wanted to ask him , “Hello handsome boy, I have been paying attention to you for a long time. When you squatted just now, did you notice that your butt crack was exposed ? Is your style minimalist or is there wind behind you? You are risking your life to expose such an important part. But I can understand that you dare to expose it because you trust this world . One day, I was walking on the road and I found that my butt crack was top-notch. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was showing the world differently to us. You boys can squat at will. That day I went online I actually found that some people are still teaching us women how to squat gracefully. Have you seen that kind of video? A girl in a cheongsam was walking on the street and dropped something. She was about to bend down to pick it up. Suddenly a girl came out and said, “Wait a minute. ” I sang ” Meeting an Old Friend in a Strange Land” . Why? There is also this part. The tune is not on the top at all. I squatted and it took me 4 and 8 beats. Girls, don’t go on like this. We can’t get anything. During the rush hour on the subway, I was dizzy and saw a seat. I rushed up and I sang and you didn’t sing. Of course, this fan can’t be thrown away. It can also cover other people’s butt cracks. Once when I was on the high-speed rail, the big brother next to me was carrying luggage. I really wanted to go up and help him pull up his pants, but I thought it was not polite. It would be better if I had a fishing rod. I was wondering , is it true that as long as you can’t see it, you can pretend that the danger does not exist . Is this the Pythagorean theorem for you men? Don’t get me wrong , I don’t want to see men’s butt cracks on the street , but I can always see it when I walk on the street. I was wondering why. Later I figured it out. I think this is a philosophical question, really, because when you stare into the abyss, of course, don’t get me wrong, I want men not to show their butt cracks , not that I want to fight for the freedom to show their butt cracks . Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want I received a private message asking if you’re there. Look at the butt crack. The world treats us differently. You trust this world , but we don’t seem to trust it. I don’t even trust my own body. For example, menstruation is the periodic shedding of the female endometrium , but all of us women know that it sheds without any cycle. It comes randomly. On the first day, I felt like it was coming, but it didn’t. On the second day, I felt like it was coming, but it didn’t. On the third day, I didn’t care. It came. The key is that you have to use sanitary napkins in advance during those days . Sanitary napkins are very expensive. Can God redesign our bodies? I really think that menstruation should be distributed according to wealth. Rich women should have more days of menstruation. Rich women have more. Men also have to bleed if they have money. I spend at least 50 yuan every month on sanitary napkins , not counting the heat packs, dysmenorrhea medicine, and laundry detergent. I’m sure many boys will ask what laundry detergent is used for. We drink it when we have dysmenorrhea, right , so menstruation is blue. One day I found that the money I spent on sanitary napkins when I got my period at the age of 13 was exactly the same as when I was 30 , but I didn’t have that much money when I was 13. Did God design our bodies wrong again? Is it true that I went through menopause at the age of 13 and had my first menstruation at the age of 60 ? 60 is the right age for menstruation. I tell you, I posted on Weibo that day and said that I had my period and my pension. It’s all here, and I need to add a label below. Care for the elderly who have just started menstruation. Some sanitary napkin brands are also messy with menstruation . I remember a brand launched a sanitary napkin with negative ions one year . The main function is to be cool and breathable, so that you can cool from the bottom to the top when you use it in the summer. The day I used its sanitary napkin, I felt very cold- blooded. It was too cold. That thing was too cold . It’s really not the negative ions that you spread. I felt like I just went to the front desk of a hot pot restaurant and picked up 10 mints and spread them on me. You know, that day after I used it, I was walking and I felt like there was a whistle down there. I have never taken a day off because of menstruation, never. Don’t you think it’s strange? A human being can take a day off because of bleeding from any hole in the body. I can’t have my period. Boss , I’m taking a day off. I’ve been bleeding for 7 days. Where are you bleeding? I’m bleeding down there, and no one cares . It’s exactly the same reaction as you guys are having now. No one cares. So I think God designed our bodies wrong again. I think menstruation shouldn’t come out from down there. I think it would be best if it could come out directly from the nostrils. Everyone can see it. I’ve been bleeding from my nose for 7 days, and I was still giving a PPT (presentation) and my boss couldn’t stand it anymore. He said, “Echo (Ran Rong), are you okay? Why is one of your nostrils bleeding so much? ” Sorry, boss, I leaked something. OK, I know that we look very fragile when we have our period , but that doesn’t mean our bodies are weak. Everyone knows Zhang Weili, right? She is the champion of UFC Unlimited Mixed Martial Arts and the absolute representative of female power. She won. Everyone is very happy, but there are still people commenting below that Zhang Weili’s victory is indeed good , but you are a woman after all. If I come to fight, I can also beat Zhang Weili. If you want to fight Zhang Weili , please pull up your pants first. I can tell you that Zhang Weili can fight you while having her period. Thank you everyone. I am Echo (Ran Rong). Brother Chuan is dangerous. Echo (Ran Rong) Rong)’s countdown to lock in the tickets. Another round of applause goes to Echo (Ran Rong). Thank you, Echo (Ran Rong) for speaking very well from beginning to end, and the emotions were very full. Earlier, we talked about the butt crack , which was actually about the boundary of a body and the boundary of society. This boundary is particularly important. In fact, I am not saying this to complain about men , but I think this world has created a safer environment for men. We have to avoid exposure here, safety pants, leggings, etc. In fact, I think the entire atmosphere and structure created by this society have problems. I want to complain about the entire social atmosphere. Your veins are actually in the same vein. There is a connection between them because it is difficult for us girls to imagine that, in fact, the cost is really high from childhood to adulthood . In fact, from childhood to adulthood, I think the pain in those two days is normal , as if it is a normal part of my life. I have never thought that I can have other choices . In fact, when you kept talking about this topic on the stage , I felt very empowered and was particularly moved at that moment. This is a very good point of talk show. Sometimes I feel that on the stage, expression may have priority over being funny. This is an aesthetic choice. At the same time, because sometimes expression is very, very important. There is a talk show host who said that if you walk into a room and you feel very nervous, you should stay in this room. When you touch on a topic and you feel that some people are very nervous, we should talk about this topic. So I am very grateful to Echo (Ran Rong) for talking about this topic. Thank you Lu Yu. Echo (Ran Rong) is as lively and spicy as ever. This is the most intuitive feeling she brings to me. I think this is also a very personal style of hers. As a woman, I definitely have a lot of empathy, so I think this will make me sincerely admire her . That is to say , I actually want to talk about the butt cleavage. I have seen big brothers showing their butt cleavage , and that kind of big brother I squatted too fast and my pants couldn’t keep up. You know , this happens to everyone , but it always happens. Teacher Lu Yu said that broadening the boundaries allows us to think more , and when we think more, we can take care of others and feel more. This is worth learning. Thank you for your performance. Thank you. I am very excited. This is me. Whether it is an offline video or a performance on the show, this is the first time I see Echo (Ran Rong) tell a story that makes everyone laugh without any psychological burden. This time, because the stories of your original family are always mixed with enough sadness. I sympathize with you, but I dare not laugh very relaxedly. Today , although your performance is very large , it is still As sharp as usual, but made us laugh without any psychological burden. I think this is a big breakthrough for you . Very good. Thank you, thank you, teacher. Thank you for Echo’s (Ran Rong) performance . We also want to invite the deceived Meng Chuan back to the stage. After the performances of Meng Chuan and Echo (Ran Rong), they both got 4 full lights. After the audience voting, Meng Chuan and Echo (Ran Rong) got the same number of votes. Brother, please clean it up. I feel that Echo (Ran Rong) is hard to say. I think it’s Brother Chuan. Meng Chuan successfully advanced with 279 votes . Echo (Ran Rong), your votes are also very high. 245 votes will enter the waiting area . 245 is almost a safe score.