兴趣班都是家长感兴趣的，夏天吃火锅吃着吃着上衣消失了！|【脱口秀和Ta的朋友们 第二季】 #脱口秀和Ta的朋友们第二季 #Stand-up Comedy2
Hello everyone, my name is Wu Ding. Friends on the second floor are so hardworking . I am 27 years old this year. Recently, I found that some of my peers who are parents have begun to force their children to take interest classes. I have a brother who enrolled his child in a children’s expression class in our hometown, a fourth-tier city. It costs 50,000 yuan a year. I was shocked . I said, how can this be expression ? Isn’t it metered? I was very surprised at the time. I said, does it cost 50,000 to learn this thing? If you really want to express yourself, you might as well give it to me . I will teach my child to do talk show, right? You give me 50,000. Don’t say teach him to talk. He can even crawl. We can also do the whole manzai. This thing is good. This thing can be on the Spring Festival Gala. When I was a child, when I was 6 years old, my father took me to the Children’s Palace to sign up for specialties. He looked at the wall of classes and asked me which one you want to learn. I said I wanted to learn street dance, it’s very handsome , and he said he was really good at math. I asked, “When did the old man become deaf?” I said I wanted to learn street dance, and he said you are wrong to think so . If you are not good at street dance , it will not improve your grades, it is useless, and it is also dangerous. Several people die every year if you dance street dance. People are good at math, math can improve grades, and it is safe. Think carefully, do you want to learn math? I didn’t know what I wanted to learn at the time, but I knew what he wanted me to learn, and he still didn’t give up. He saw that I was still unhappy, so he said, “Listen carefully, this is not ordinary math, this is Olympiad math , do you know Olympiad math? Ultraman teaches you math . I said I want to learn it, I want to learn math from Ultraman, and I coaxed and deceived myself into signing up for an Olympiad class . On the first day of class, I found out that it was an Olympic Mathematics Competition. The first question I learned was ” Chickens and Rabbits in the Same Cage”. The teacher read the question on the stage and said, “Put chickens and rabbits in a cage. First count out that there are 36 heads in total, and then count out that there are 100 legs in total. You are asked to count how many chickens and rabbits there are. ” After listening to it, I raised my hand and said, “Teacher, there is a problem with this question. You don’t need to count for this question. ” The step of counting the heads is over. I know chickens and rabbits. I can tell them apart by their faces . Normally , you should tell them apart when you count heads, right? These are chickens, rabbits , chickens, rabbits, chickens, rabbits. What fool counts like this? Heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads , all heads. This has to be counted. The teacher said, “Student, if you use your logic to do this problem, but you don’t know chickens and rabbits , how will you deal with it? ” I said, “First learn about chickens and rabbits. If you have such an IQ, don’t study Olympiad mathematics and tell the difference between the animals. ” The teacher said, “Don’t worry. Listen to how clever math solves the problem.” He said, “You can use the hypothesis method. Suppose all the heads are chicken heads. There are 36 chickens, so there are 72 legs, a total of 100 legs. What if there are extra legs? Put the extra legs back on the chickens. A chicken with two legs becomes a rabbit. See how many rabbits you can make . This method is really clever, but the problem is I was too young at the time and I couldn’t understand. I could only understand the literal meaning of what people said . When the teacher said that a chicken could turn into a rabbit by installing two legs, I was lost in mathematics. I thought about it for a long time and couldn’t figure it out. I have seen chickens. I grew up in the countryside when I was a child. I raised chickens, but there were no chickens that could transform. We also killed chickens during the Chinese New Year, but there was no such situation. The chicken was caught and just as it was about to be killed, he said, “Wait a minute , you took out two legs and installed them. You made a mistake. It was a four-legged rabbit . When you were caught, it was obviously a chicken, but it was a little rabbit. So you were eliminated in the first round last year. You have your own artistic understanding. I was arguing with the teacher at the time and said, “Teacher, a chicken cannot turn into a rabbit . ” The teacher said that in this question, a chicken can turn into a rabbit. I said, “Chickens cannot turn into rabbits no matter where you are. If you want to change, go ahead and change. Anyway, odd numbers change but even numbers don’t change. So you were eliminated again in the resurrection round. You have your own artistic understanding. Insist on it anyway. But the teacher insisted on not I changed to a more efficient way of communication. Can I change? Ask you if you can change. My child becomes smarter when he is beaten. I said he can change, he can change . If he doesn’t change, I will change . Don’t beat him. It’s really uncomfortable. I hate learning Olympiad mathematics . Many of my peers around me are taking this kind of interest class. In fact, it is the class that parents are interested in. Your coercive learning method will only bring pressure and pain. It will only bring pressure and pain. I hate Olympiad mathematics . Later I checked who invented Olympiad mathematics . There is a saying that it was invented by the Soviets. In 1935, an educator in the Soviet Union proposed to combine the Olympic spirit with mathematical competitions and invented the educational model of Olympiad mathematics. He aimed to cultivate outstanding talents and promote national development through this educational method. The Soviet Union disappeared in 1991. The Soviet Union studied Olympiad mathematics for 56 years and only learned the first step . Thank you everyone, I am Wu Ding. Thank you Wu The countdown to the ticket lock channel for Ding. Wu Ding called out his past self twice today. Because of his artistic persistence, he doesn’t hold grudges against himself. I think it seems that many people may have a very deep impression of his last cool talk show, which is the micro-drama talk show , yes, yes, yes, the short play, ” Life depends on imagination”. Is this also the reason why Chunchun and Mr. Luo didn’t clap? It’s because the joke in Wu Ding’s last short play was so crazy. The cash light went straight into the sky to meet the God, so I was looking forward to him because you have seen what he looks like when he is crazy. So for today’s one, I feel a little calmer. I still hope he is too normal, right? Too normal, so I hope he can be a little crazier. The roof is on fire. Do you have this feeling yourself? Wu Ding is actually fine because people can’t be crazy all the time. Because this topic itself is a more practical topic . I think I really hated going to training classes at that time. I learned a lot of things when I was a child, such as electronic piano, calligraphy, watercolor painting, mathematics, guitar, but I couldn’t stick to any of them because I didn’t like them. I was in pain every day. I think at this time I have been questioning a lot of that kind of education. But I really like Wu Ding, especially the last time. I think you found the best golden sentence in the world , that is, all the beauty in the world depends on imagination. After I went back, I thought, how can it be so right? That’s why I said that the performance in the last round left a deep impression on everyone, yes , and higher expectations , yes , and I hope, because I took this photo , I hope that he may not be as good as last time, but I hope he can inspire him. Wu Ding can inspire something particularly good. I hope to see you in the later performances. I also want to show a different style, because last time Teacher Lu Yu didn’t There are lights for clapping. I’m quite happy about this clapping. It’s because we got four lights in two rounds. He can remember grudges. He remembers them very carefully . Yes, he remembers them very carefully. Wait a minute, let’s take a look at Wu Ding’s votes. This is not enough for 290 (votes). Come on, Team Spear , choose one from three. Wu Ding. Now the choice is in your hands. It’s very difficult to make a choice . Which one do the audience want to see? (Cai Cai) Cai Cai, everyone wants to see Cai Cai . Okay. The only thing I can do is to let the audience realize their wishes. Okay , Cai Cai, come on . Cai Cai is here. Last season, this actress mentioned the shame of sanitary napkins, which left a deep impression on everyone. She can always find inspiration for her talk show in the embarrassment of life. Applause, welcome Cai Cai. Hello, everyone. I’m Cai Cai. Hello, I’m from Guizhou. We Guizhou people really like to eat hot pot . No matter how hot it is in summer, we still have to eat hot pot . As we were eating, we found that the shirts of the men around us began to disappear. This hot pot is not only spicy for the mouth, but also spicy for the eyes. There is less and less meat on the table, and more and more on the stools. Sometimes I am scared. Where did the gray vest of the man next to me go? Was that really tripe? I was a little panicked because I didn’t know how many seconds the vest had to be ironed, but I was so envious because I felt they were so open. If I even showed a little bit of my bra, the shoulder straps would be very embarrassing. And shoulder straps are very disappointing. The more nervous I am, the more they tend to slide down. For example, during interviews and meetings, the straps always fall off at critical moments. And there was even one time when my shoulder strap didn’t slide down at all, but the hook was too loose, so it fell directly to the ground. It was a thin white strap. I was in a meeting with a client at the time. It was so embarrassing that I wanted to pretend that nothing had happened , but the male colleague next to me quietly came over to remind me that your charging cable had fallen off. Then I just breathed a sigh of relief and he bent down to pick it up for me. This was the first time I hoped that a man would not be a gentleman or short-sighted, but when he picked it up and looked closer, his hand shook and he threw it back to me. I felt that this charging cable was leaking I was shocked and I never understood why a bra costs one or two hundred yuan, but even the shoulder straps can’t be fixed. Until recently , I started to tell this joke frequently, and then big data started to recommend a product to me called a bra shoulder strap fixing belt. When you listen to the name, it feels like a tongue twister . Bra shoulder strap fixing belt. The older sister helps the younger sister pick wheat. Some strange comedy skills. But I suspected that the shoulder straps might have slipped down, so the sales of the fixing belt would go up. Otherwise, what’s embarrassing about showing the bra shoulder straps? Is it because it makes people think of breasts? But aren’t breasts very common? What are breasts? Breasts are scrambled eggs. Scrambled eggs with tomatoes. Isn’t this what you like? I understand. I ‘m sorry, but I found that if you are not embarrassed, you don’t need to spend money to solve this embarrassment. For example, I have a male friend who works out. He only wears one kind of clothes in summer , which is a very sexy fitness vest with particularly large armpits. They all sagged to their hips. My friend ‘s height just reaches his chest. Then in the summer when the wind is very strong, I can often feel the piercing wind from his vest when I walk beside him. When the wind blows past, I can see his chest. I remember one time we were waiting for the traffic light at an intersection. I was on his left and there was a girl about the same height as me standing on his right. A piercing wind blew past and our eyes met . The girl and I were both stunned at the time and we burst out laughing. The boy was also stunned when he saw us laughing. He asked me if we knew each other. I said no, we just fell in love and fell in love at first sight. But he was not embarrassed at all. He never thought about whether he wanted to buy a chest sticker. Instead, after a while, he ran to me and shook his chest muscles. He said that he had been training for an hour today and they were about to explode. I really thought he was exaggerating. If his chest muscles were about to explode, they would have to be removed when he went through security on the plane . In this way, the security checkpoint would have to hold two boxes, one for the lighter and the other for the chest muscles. But I am still very envious because I think the boy has a good figure and can wear a sexy vest But if he has a figure like Maitreya Buddha, he also wears sexy vests. Girls are completely opposite . For example, the two most popular bras on Taobao are one that makes small breasts look bigger and the other that makes big breasts look smaller, right? And these bras are actually very difficult to wear , so the first thing we girls do when we get home is to take off our bras . Then I found that my roommate has changed a lot . She can even wear C (size) in the morning and A (size) in the evening . Including myself , in order to adjust my breast shape to be good-looking , I would wear those kind of gathering bras and lifting bras. I adjusted them over and over again and it worked. I successfully adjusted my breast shape to a flattering type. Then I was C (size). I was talking about my talk show level. And I used to wear those very tight underwire bras to fight gravity. Then when I went for a breast checkup, the doctor told me that this kind of underwear will compress your body and increase the risk of breast nodules. I know that for boys, there is a bit too much information , which will increase the risk of this . But in fact, he didn’t tell me directly at the beginning . He asked me a question and asked me what I was wearing. I was confused at the time, and I answered with something that makes me embarrassed and want to scream when I think about it now. I said, “Doesn’t it look good? ” At that time, the doctor looked at me and felt that the steel ring was compressing my brain. But in fact, the only person whose brain was compressed by the steel ring was Sun Wukong. Just imagine if Sun Wukong was a woman, the golden hoop would become two steel rings and wear the underwear on her chest. The secret of the Monkey King would then be with her. A leopard print skirt would be more suitable . Then every time she yells “fairy, eat my stick” , she raises the golden hoop and the shoulder strap falls off, and the fairy would say you are the fairy. But I want to say that breasts are a part of our body , right? In fact, everyone has breasts. Men also have breasts of different sizes , but they don’t wear underwear, so they don’t know their breast size. So I was wondering what method can make us more open about breasts ? I wonder if it’s okay to use it to classify them. For example, the program group uses breast size to group, which is the real breakout competition. But if I look at it this way, I will be in the same group with Maodou. But after thinking about it, I think it’s still not okay . We can’t define people by their bodies, right? Because if we do that, I’m afraid we won’t see men’s talents , we can only see I’ll stop here when I get to their chests. Thank you everyone . I wish you all happiness . The ticket lock channel for winning, Cai Cai, is open. Thank you, Cai Cai. Why did I choose this topic this time ? I have been troubled by this since I was a child . For example, when I was in junior high school , I was chatting with a male friend who I was very close to. Then while we were chatting, I stomped my feet and I found that his line of sight turned into a cat toy. So I really wanted to talk about it because I wanted to talk about this thing. I think it is the thing that really bothers me, so I want to say that the part about scrambled eggs with tomatoes is really successful. This part , the big teacher, the joke is what we discussed with the screenwriter and it is a gift for you. Thank you . I was confused at the time and said, “Is this my gift? My birthday hasn’t come yet. I like it very much. Thank you. My feeling is that girls will have body anxiety and small breasts want to get bigger.” Big breasts need to be smaller . Big breasts need to be smaller and then you need to wear this underwire bra. When she went for a check-up, the doctor said this, which I think was a powerful counterattack. The underwire actually presses not your breasts but your brain. I think this point is particularly powerful. Thank you, teacher. Of course, she has a lot of jokes. Those things that seem to sound messy are actually the points where you are a little goblin and you really want to take pictures. If you think about it carefully, it is very organized. I want to say one more thing because when I was talking to a female guest a few days ago, she talked about when she was a child, when she played basketball, she said that every time she shot the ball, there would be many boys waiting for her under the basket because her body might develop earlier than (other) girls. She said that she was afraid of being seen in front of the basket, so she shot from a distance. She actually developed a very strong skill. If you ask all girls about the technique of three-point shooting, if they are very tall, they must have hunched their chests when they grow up, and it is difficult for them to be very open . Then think about it, our cost of living is very high from childhood to adulthood, because underwear is very expensive , that is, you need to find a comfortable, well-fitting and decent underwear. In fact, it costs a lot of money from childhood to adulthood. I think the girls on the talk show stage are very cute , and they talk about a wide range of topics and are very bold. I never thought that one day we can talk about women’s underwear together. I never thought about it , so I feel very liberated. Why did I choose the spear? I think humor has to have some irony and thorns . It has some sharp things. I think the stage is the shield and the talk show is the spear , and it can ensure that I will not be interrupted when I speak on this stage. After the performance of Bu Bei Ba Cai Cai, Wu Ding returned to the scene. Let’s take a look at the votes they received after the performance of Wu Ding and Cai Cai. They received a very good score of 272 votes. Congratulations to Cai Cai for entering the next stage.