3500买面油只为了面子工程？残疾人也应该被尊重，罗老师直呼后悔没给小帕拍灯！|【脱口秀和Ta的朋友们 第二季】 #脱口秀和Ta的朋友们第二季 #Stand-up Comedy2
Thank you, everyone. My name is Xiao Pa. I am Uyghur. Thank you . I think Mandarin is very difficult . I have been wondering what others mean. Before, there was a girl in the toilet. She asked me if I had any bread. Later I learned that bread refers to sanitary napkins. But to this day, I firmly believe that sanitary napkins should be adapted to local conditions. In Xinjiang, they are called naan, and in Shanghai, they are called bagels. Maybe the problem now is that Mandarin is good. And I am a person who cares a lot about what others say about me and how they evaluate me. So the sentence I am most afraid of hearing in my daily life is ” Xiao Pa, I have seen your performance” because I will be very nervous . I don’t I know what he will say next . I will take everything he says to heart. I clench my teeth and my jawline will become clearer. I just stare at him like this. If he says “Xiao Pa, you are okay”, I will immediately become angry. I have been criticized before. During that time, it is no exaggeration to say that this person was in my mind when I ate and slept. I was thinking about him when I opened my eyes and closed my eyes. It’s strange. Why did he diss me? I actually miss him a little. His English is okay. I am like this in my daily life . I saw a bottle of facial oil for 3,500 yuan when I was shopping before. My first reaction was that it was so expensive. I thought I couldn’t afford it, so let’s try it and see . I tried it and found that I liked the texture, packaging and taste very much , but I couldn’t afford it, so I started to feel inferior. As luck would have it, the salesperson asked me a question. He asked me how I felt. How did I feel? I felt like a scumbag whose defense was broken. I just wanted to play around but ended up getting hooked. But I knew very well that I was not worthy of it, so the next thing to do was to discredit it. He asked me how I felt. I couldn’t tell him that I was poor and had no money, right? I could only tell him that your product was just average and no one in our village used it . I was about to leave, feeling guilty. Of course, before I left, I said I would go around and come back, but the salesman was very experienced, okay? He saw that I was about to leave, so he pointed at my face and looked into my eyes, and said to me, I found that you are a little… This was not over yet, and I started to get nervous, but then I thought, everyone thinks that I make a living by talking, and if he dares to scold me today, I will scold him to death. Not only will I scold him today, I will also write a joke to scold him , and then tell that joke on the stage to make money to buy that facial oil. I had thought about it, and I just stared at him like that . I didn’t expect him to point at my face and look into my eyes, and he said to me I found you look a bit like an idol, so I wrapped it up. No one in my three generations has ever used such expensive skin care products. If I have to say that my ancestors may have used equally expensive skin care products, the only thing I can think of is Xiangfei . This facial oil has magical powers. I tell you, I haven’t even unscrewed the cap to apply it on my face. I just held it in my hand and it has already started to repair me. It didn’t repair my skin, it repaired my fragile self-esteem. I am particularly prone to self-denial because of a word from others. In the past, if someone said to me, ” Xiao Pa, I don’t think your jokes are funny,” I might have locked myself in the room. I cried in my heart for the whole day, but since the moment I held this facial oil in my hand, if anyone dared to come up to me and say, ” Xiao Pa, I don’t think your joke is funny, ” my first reaction would be that my face cream cost 3,500 yuan. I wanted to show off, I wanted everyone to know, including Xiang Fei, but I was embarrassed because I would care about other people’s opinions when showing off . So showing off to me is like having a crush on someone. I’m afraid that others will notice it, and I’m even more afraid that others won’t notice it. So when I posted that circle of friends that night , I could only put the facial oil in a corner that was both conspicuous and inconspicuous, and the caption could only say, ” The wind tonight is a little noisy.” I only use this facial oil on my face because I think it’s enough to have a good-looking face. My neck doesn’t matter. I have a lot of turtleneck sweaters, so careful friends can also find that my idea of beauty is probably to make a part of the skin beautiful first , and then surround the other part of the skin. Some simple face projects, spend money on places that others can see. It’s no exaggeration to say that every time I use this facial oil, I will look in the mirror and use my jaw as the dividing line. I will only use it to wipe my face. If one day I accidentally get distracted while applying it and apply it to my neck, it will feel so uncomfortable, just as uncomfortable as if I had applied it to my neck. I have learned Mandarin for so many years just for this moment. When my friends applied facial oil, to be honest, there was not much visible change on their skin. I kept thinking about why . Later, I figured out that face projects are destined to fail. I reflected a lot. I reflected on why I jumped into the trap of consumerism without hesitation . Because these capitalists who advocate consumerism speak so nicely. My God , I can’t even imagine my parents talking to me like this. When I was a child, I wanted something at home. I said, “Mom, I want it.” Before I finished speaking, my mother said, “What do you want? You are so nosy. Why don’t others want it?” The capitalists opened their mouths. You deserve it but be careful that every word of the capitalists is secretly marked with a price. At home, harsh words hurt people in June, and outside, a kind word costs 3,500. When I was working in the company before, our boss would just say a few kind words to me in front of my ear and praise me, and I would work hard . I didn’t even dare to ask for overtime pay. What money? I live for a good review and cash back. Someone also asked me, “Xiao Pa, you have seen these traps very clearly. Will you still buy such an expensive facial oil? I will never buy such an expensive facial oil at the counter again. I will use Meituan flash purchase, which is more convenient and I can receive it in 30 minutes. ” This sentence is also marked with a price. Someone advised me not to care so much about other people’s comments. How is that possible? The world I have seen since I was a child is that people care about other people’s comments. Snow White’s stepmother is the most powerful person in the whole story . People dare to deny her. She cares about the opinion of a mirror , but I still envy her. Even though she cares, she dares to point directly at the nose of the magic mirror and ask who is the most beautiful woman. I dare not. I desire the recognition of others , but I am afraid of being denied. When I get in front of the magic mirror, it is at most a magic mirror. You go about your business. This mirror is also a bastard. It and the queen have made eye contact. You say a few nice words, is that enough? It still insists on saying that Snow White is prettier than you. What kind of thing is it that is used to praise one and to step on another? The magic mirror is at most a female competitor. I tried to complain to my friend about this very unhealthy mental state of mine. I always base my self-identity on the recognition of others. My friend looked at me and said, you know, Xiaopa, you don’t look like that kind of person. You look like the kind of person who would kill people. I didn’t expect that your core is so unstable. Who kills people because their core is too stable ? Some people who can really kill people also care about other people’s evaluation. For example, Emperor Taizong of Tang also cares about Wei Zheng’s opinion. He cares so much that he even said that Wei Zheng is a mirror of me. For this reason, he also wrote a sentence like ” Using people as a mirror can help you understand gains and losses ” . When I learned this, I had a picture in my mind: Emperor Taizong of Tang ran to Wei Zheng every day. Wei Zheng, Wei Zheng, who is the best emperor in the world? I long for recognition from others. Only when others recognize me will I feel that I am okay, so I will try my best to show my best side in front of others. It really took me three hours to put on this makeup today. I revised my script more than 60 times. This should be my fifth outfit. I really put in all my effort and stood on the stage like this. But before I went on stage, the director said to me, “Xiao Pa, don’t care too much about the audience’s opinion of you. Then why did I come to the talk show competition ?” What we are competing for is the audience’s views and comments, because this thing is not like sports competitions that have objective evaluation standards , right? You have never heard of a person commenting on a joke and saying that his joke is ten rings . There is no such thing. So I care about it . It’s not just me who cares about the director. You care more than me because you are trying your best to show the best Tencent video in front of iQiyi. Isn’t this a kind of love to try your best to show your best side in front of each other ? So I have thought of the name of this CP (partner), it is called Loving CP (Partner). Thank you for all the laughter and applause today . You can’t imagine how much this matter means to me. But if you don’t laugh , I might die on the stage . But if I die on the stage, you don’t have to worry, okay? I don’t need any CPR or defibrillation. 120 ICU (Intensive Care Unit) I don’t need to find two people with loud voices to shout in my ears, Xiaopa, your jokes are so funny, like an idol. Thank you everyone, I am Xiaopa. Thank you for this Uyghur shield that has held the line tightly. Xiaopa’s ticket lock channel is open. Applause to Xiaopa. Xiaopa, when we were dividing the camps, why did you think talk show was your shield? Because I am very fragile . It’s true that
although I don’t look like this on the surface , I am really very soft. I need something to protect me. I need something that allows me to hide behind it and stay away from the world for a while. On the surface, you are not a person who may care about other people’s evaluation. I said that on the surface, you care about me very much, but in fact, I care very much. In fact, you are great, great . You know there is a kind of opening up everything to embrace the world. She opens up everything to hurt the world. That’s the feeling. Although I like others to recognize me , I dare not tell others that I hope I hope others will recognize me. She is saying that I just need others to recognize me. I feel very powerful. I think talk show is not a tool for you but a weapon. I think it is very amazing . Thank you. When I was listening to Xiao Pa ‘s evaluation just now, I was thinking, for example, you care a lot about other people’s evaluation, but you will still read and listen to other people’s evaluation. When I first entered the industry, I would even secretly cut out other people’s good comments about me and put them in a memo. The name of the memo was called “Strong Heart Shot” . I would take it out and look at it when I was sad . But now it has been almost two years and I haven’t done this because there are so many people who scold me. The reason why I asked this question is that we may all face this kind of bad evaluation . For me, I may feel that I am not as brave as you. Sometimes I may choose not to read it because I think Maybe it will affect my whole state or affect my mood in the next few days. Then I might choose to ignore it and not read it. But I think you may be braver than me. Thank you. I think Xiaopa performed very well today . First of all, I think all of us are the same. No one will not care about other people’s opinions , right? So you should choose the good and follow it , that is, you should listen to those who can give you positivity and encouragement. I think this is also a benefit, because I care about other people’s evaluations, good or bad. You may be able to knock me down with just one repo (feedback) , but if you want me to stand up, it only takes two sentences. I am more flexible and live more flexibly. First of all, I want to say that you believe the good things we say, right ? I don’t want to listen to the bad things. She will put our words in a folder, so I must hold my conscience. The performance in the last game was the coolest female contestant I have ever seen on this stage. Thank you , that’s the truth. As for today, I think the whole script is very good. Let’s talk about the topic called the consumerism trap , which is also a topic I particularly like. But why didn’t I take a photo in the end ? It’s because I felt that I was a little too eager , especially in the first half. So I hesitated for a long time and didn’t take a photo. But I thought about it later and I regretted not taking a photo of the light. Xiaopa, first of all, this is a super high recognition. Mr. Luo said that he regretted not taking a photo of the light. This is amazing. Thank you for the evaluation from the four laughter friends. Xiaopa brought us a performance that made the whole audience explode. Then let’s see if she can advance directly after Xiaopa’s performance. Please see. Then, the friends in the spear group will count down to grab the microphone. We are such a cowardly group, let’s wait for the ball to be drawn. Xuebing, Xuebing Xue Bing brought us a wonderful performance last time and walked out of a unique track. Come on! I really want to hear Xue Bing’s other sharings on life. Xiao Pa, take a break. Applause. Welcome Xue Bing. Hello everyone, I am Xue Bing. Hello. I still have to explain to you all. This arm was caused by an accident when I was a child. High voltage electricity. Let’s not be nervous. Okay , if you are nervous , let’s relax like fundraising. Some friends are indeed a little nervous when they first saw me. I understand. Maybe it’s not just because of the arm. I just look a little fierce , and I like to frown unconsciously when I talk. Frowning makes people look more fierce. In fact, I have thought of some ways to solve this problem before . I really hope that when I go on stage, I will give everyone a cute feeling. This is the way I thought of. My performance in the last round was actually not bad . After I finished speaking and I stepped off the stage, an actor praised me and said, “Brother Bing, your acting was so explosive. How can we follow up on your acting ?” I said, “It’s hard to follow up on your acting, right?” The doctor in the hospital said the same thing back then . Today I want to talk to you about work . I used to work in a welfare enterprise for a while. Let me explain to friends who don’t know about it. A welfare enterprise is a social welfare enterprise established by the civil affairs department with the purpose of placing disabled people in employment . The proportion of disabled people placed in it cannot be less than 25% , and the number of people cannot be less than 10. To be honest , I think that according to the current development trend of the talk show industry , I think we will be able to run a welfare enterprise in a few years. Aren’t there new quotas for disabled people every year, right? By then, the show will be called “Talk Show and His Disabled Friends” “The King of Comedy One-Handed Season” Right? It’s really exciting just thinking about it. When the time comes, let Hei Deng be the chairman and Xiao Jia be the CEO (Executive President), and I will help them and be their right-hand man, right? In general companies , interviews look at resumes. Welfare companies are different. Welfare companies look at disability certificates. They are really welfare companies. My disability certificate is much more dazzling than ordinary resumes. What? I was good at playing chess, calligraphy and painting at the age of 3. I was in Tsinghua University and Peking University at the age of 16. I touched high voltage electricity at the age of 5. It’s quite dazzling, but in fact, it’s easy to get into the factory, but it’s not easy to arrange a job. There are indeed not many jobs suitable for me. Most of them were manual work, and then the boss thought about it and arranged a management job for me , letting me manage the workshop. Inadvertently, I became a leader . As the saying goes , you can’t do anything but be a leader. At the beginning, I was a little inflated. I thought to myself that if I were a leader, I would have everything under my control . After working for a few days, I found that something was wrong. I was just a puppet with no real power. Every day I just ran errands and passed messages for the boss. In fact, I later learned that the boss had his own ideas for making such arrangements . He thought that I might have common topics with the disabled people in the workshop. After all, we all had disability certificates. This is called treating the disabled with the disabled. The boss said that I was good at speaking and asked me to hold a mobilization meeting for the employees every morning to cheer them up and shout slogans. Half of them were deaf and dumb. Who would I shout to? The boss’s brain turned too fast. He asked me to learn sign language. How ridiculous! He asked me to learn sign language. I asked me, boss, are you not afraid that I would say the previous sentence but not the next sentence after I learned the sign language. To be honest, many jobs in the workshop were indeed more suitable for disabled people. For example, this deaf-mute was very focused when he was working. He never gossiped during working hours. When we chatted, the work in his hands stopped. At that time, the workshop was paid by piecework. Originally, it was said that more work, more pay, to stimulate the work enthusiasm of employees. However, when everyone’s salary was really improved, the boss would do something behind their backs. He played tricks and secretly changed the algorithm. He reduced everyone’s salary back to 3,000 yuan. 3,000 yuan is not enough to buy a bottle of facial oil. I have to say that our boss never discriminates in reducing costs and increasing efficiency. He exploits everyone equally. The salary fluctuates around 3,000 points. After a long time , everyone feels like they are working but actually speculating in stocks. At first, I didn’t understand why some people can work here for more than 10 years with such an opaque system. Why are they stuck? The most relaxing time of the day is lunch time. Everyone sits together and chats happily. The scene is really warm. It feels like Yang Guo is leading the Seven Freaks of Jiangnan for team building . Sometimes I think, with our luxurious lineup, can’t we just find a pedestrian street and lie down and earn 3,000 yuan a month? But actually, think about it this way. The pattern is a bit small. Compared with making money, welfare enterprises actually provide the disabled with the most important thing , which is dignity. At that time , many disabled people in welfare enterprises found jobs that suited them, and then became self-reliant and supported their families with their own hard-working hands or one hand. And welfare enterprises actually have one most important advantage. There is this tax preferential policy. One year , many enterprises went bankrupt due to poor performance. Our factory survived by relying on the disability subsidy. Now we are doing well. The boss is doing well and has food and drink. It reminds me of a saying : Those who are dressed in silk and satin must have raised disabled people. Finally , I would like to make an appeal. I think we should not waste such a good policy, right? I still hope that there will be more welfare enterprises in society and give more job opportunities to disabled people. As long as you are willing to take in these angels with broken wings, we will be your angel investors. Thank you everyone, I am Xuebing. We have a chance . Applause to Xuebing . The countdown to locking tickets is over. Applause to Xuebing again. When you chose your camp, you chose Spear. I chose Spear. Why ? Because I think I am not young now. I was born in 1986 and I am almost 40 this year. I feel that I have been hiding myself in the first half of my life , or trying to hide myself in every way possible so that no one can see me, because there is a feeling of shame about my illness. But I think after finishing the talk show, I have come to my senses . I want to be braver in the second half of my life. I want to break through myself and go forward courageously. The first part was great. The moment when Teacher Da clapped the lights was the comedy one-handed season. I almost burst out laughing. Then Teacher Da went crazy. I really laughed so hard that my nose bubble almost popped out. I said that the moment just now was amazing. And the part at the end was also so funny. It was said that the sign language had a first sentence but no second sentence. And I was a little puzzled just from the logic because I have never learned sign language. If there is only one type, there is a first sentence but no second sentence . Will it affect the radicals ? For example, will Xu Haolun be typed as Yu Gaobi? Or can the couplet only have the first half and not the second half? Strictly speaking, some words cannot be typed with one hand . It is not so rigorous. In this paragraph, he can make tragic things make us laugh without any burden. This is a very powerful skill . Yes , and I think his text is very meticulous, very meticulous . And Xue Bing himself, because we are on the stage with four people, it is like watching a TV series. After the first episode, we actually have no burden. In addition, he is very funny and friendly , so I think it was a very, very good competition . Your performance in the last game was also very wonderful. Thank you . This match was a breakthrough compared to the last one because generally when players play a match, they will tactically make the first match the strongest and most explosive one , and then they will slow down a little in the second match, but he was stronger in the second match, so I expect you to get stronger and stronger all the way. Thank you. The key point is that I think it gives people strength and is especially liberating because many talk shows and jokes are all about creating tension first and then releasing it. You come right up and have this, right? Be
more direct. Let’s give applause to Xuebing again, Teacher Zhang. I want to say one more thing. You said, you said Xuebing . Let me say one last thing. I think we should cheer for our spear camp, just to encourage them. We are the spear , what are we afraid of, right? We have to fight them, the shield , right? I hope everyone will give some strength later. Okay , Xiao Pa will come back to the court. Let’s see if the spear camp and the shield camp will advance and the situation will change. Let’s see the votes for Xiao Pa and Xue Bing. Xue Bing will win. We think Xiao Pa won. I think Xiao Pa is more ready. Go back and sit down. Congratulations to Xiao Pa for successfully advancing to the next round with 274 votes and Xue Bing with 266 votes. Very outstanding results. Let’s give applause to Xue Bing and Xiao Pa again.