西天取经六选三之借调僧，侯智元他们都是品种狗，而我却是二本土狗！丨《脱口秀和Ta的朋友们 第二季》 STAND-UP COMEDY2
Hello, friends. My name is Hou Zhiyuan. I usually go to work, but I asked for leave today. I really hope to keep my current job because I don’t want to have any more interviews. I feel that there are more and more interviews in companies now. I have participated in many interviews when I was looking for a job before . Among all the interview forms, the one I hate the most is called group interview. The name is very strange. When I first heard it, I thought it was in a WeChat group. I said, how can there be an interview in a group? Is it grabbing red envelopes? There is also another name for group interview called leaderless group discussion. This name is even more strange. I don’t know which leaderless group discussion you are. Friends, we basically discuss leaderless people. In group interview, a topic will be given for group discussion. The group interview I participated in was with ten people in a group , and ten out of one was better than grabbing red envelopes. This elimination rate can easily stimulate the dark side of human nature. I specifically checked that the focus of the group interview is first of all teamwork. You can’t easily refute others. So when I heard some people talking nonsense to show off themselves, I thought to myself, what are you barking about? But when the words came to my mouth , I agreed with his point of view and added something. This technique is called yes and (yes, and) translates to one thing in front of you and another behind your back. Secondly, leadership is also very important. So during the whole interview process, everyone showed that they wanted to actively integrate into the team. What they thought in their hearts was that they wanted to take over the team as soon as possible. What about leaderless group discussion? I led the group discussion and the scene was very chaotic , just like a group of dogs fighting for a bone. What I fear most in group interviews is teammates who are particularly eager to show off. At that time, we were still in the conference room waiting for the interviewer to come. The guy next to me couldn’t hold back his desire to show off , so he came over and asked me, “Xiao Hou, which school did you graduate from? ” I said, “which school? ” I said, “We are all here for a group interview, and we are all here to be dogs. Why do you have to ask about my breed?” I didn’t want to pay attention to him. Unexpectedly, people around me started to introduce themselves. I’m from Jiaotong University, I’m from Beihang University , and I’m from Beijing Institute of Technology. Who asked you? But when I heard that, I felt bad. My friends are all purebred dogs , and I’m the only local dog . The guy from Tsinghua University was even more ruthless. I said, “Why are there wolves here ? This wolf brother is the best at asking questions. ” After that, the school started asking about our internship experiences. The more I listened, the more uncomfortable I felt. They all had internships in large companies. Friends, I went to college in a county in the northeast, and we didn’t have the concept of internships. At most, it was called work-study. It was only that day that I learned that early internship is a traditional virtue of the Chinese nation, because Confucius said that you should learn and then practice, which means that you have to practice after learning. I didn’t listen to Confucius. The school was not very good, so I didn’t say anything the whole time. In this way, no one knew that I was a local dog. They all thought I was a Kugou. The formal self-introduction was only when the interviewer came , and the scene became even more chaotic. Everyone wanted to be remembered by the interviewer, so ordinary introductions could not be remembered at all. But one classmate’s self-introduction made me unforgettable. He said that I hope to use three colors to introduce myself. I have passion like red, creativity like yellow, and my base color is green, which symbolizes empathy. After listening to his introduction, I felt that there were only nine people left in the group out of ten, because he was installing lights, and he was installing the kind of traffic lights. After his introduction The whole audience was silent, all stunned by his enthusiasm. No one dared to move. The red light came on. The topic of my group interview was very bold . If you were Tang Monk, you were going to the West to obtain Buddhist scriptures and needed to take three of the six disciples away. Who would you take? The six were Lü Bu, Li Kui, Lin Daiyu, Zheng He, Newton and Watt. Which three would you take ? Why ? I also want to ask, why is there my original team? Where is my Monkey King? The key is that these people are not from the same system. How come the team to obtain Buddhist scriptures still has people on loan? I am Tang Monk, and you are selected monks, right? How do I answer this question? Brother Wolf was silent. The traffic lights were also frustrated. His yellow light representing creativity stopped flashing. How should I choose? If I choose Lü Bu, Li Kui and Lin Daiyu, the four great classics have been published in a combined edition. The key is that Lü Bu likes to stab his lord in the back, and Li Kui is only loyal to Song Jiang . Only Lin Daiyu is reliable and always takes sick leave. No one can take me to obtain Buddhist scriptures, but everyone can. If I go to the West, then I will choose Zheng He, Newton and Watt. It seems that Elder Tang does not want to go to the West, but wants to sail to the West. If I pair Zheng He with two great inventors, I will feel that the Age of Exploration is about to begin. We drove the steamship straight to the Great Leiyin Temple, and then the Tathagata Buddha personally named me the Pirate King. I am crazy. These six apprentices of mine are really excellent. It is really difficult to choose, so we discussed and decided to let the six of them have a group interview first. We will choose three with good performance and take the other three away . When outsourcing, it will help the company to gain the greatest benefits under the premise of saving the company’s labor costs. The interviewer was very satisfied and said that the performance of each of us exceeded his expectations , and then let Brother Wolf, who had the highest academic qualifications, pass the interview. What are you interviewing for? He didn’t say anything except introducing himself. At that moment, I understood the topic of the group interview . The West can take three of the six apprentices away, and asked who graduated from Tsinghua University. The more I participated in group interviews, the more my abilities didn’t improve at all, but my moral standards soared. I now firmly oppose animal performances, and I empathize with them. Do you know that animal protection organizations have a slogan that I particularly like : “The little bear doesn’t want to ride a bike, and the little dog doesn’t want to go through a hoop.” I would like to add that the little monkey doesn’t want to do a group interview either. That’s all I have to say. Thank you everyone, thank you for coming to Hou Zhiyuan’s ticket locking channel. Xiao Hou, do you have rich interview experience? I have rich interview experience , but not much experience in passing the interview. Is there anything more ridiculous in an interview than this group interview? I had an interview before, and the interviewer opposite me was very young. He was only two years older than me. After entering, he kept humiliating me. I said, “I’m only two years older than you, but I’m sitting here and you’re sitting there.” This shows that young people still have to work hard. You told him, “But you’re a fool than me . ” How would you answer this kind of ridiculous question? I said I would continue to work hard. Because I’m on the shield side , I ‘m not very good at attacking , but it’s really hard to say. For example, I don’t know what position the person who is two years older than you and who disgusts you is interviewing you for. If it ‘s a product position, that must be ridiculous. If it’s a customer service position or something like that, he might want to see if you are easily fooled Angry and stressful interview , right? So sometimes it’s hard to say, but overall I’ve seen many HR (human resources) from big companies like this. Then I have to ask, you just hesitated to click the light , right? It’s also an interview method. No, no, I’m not that sinister. I didn’t hint at you anything. I just kept hesitating. I think the completeness of this work is still a little lacking , but there are a few very clever jokes in the middle that are very interesting. So if we have three lights, I won’t click. I took a look and saw that there were two lights , so I hesitated and then clicked. The hesitation is that this is not PUA (mind control). Thank you, Chunchun . Which one do you think impressed you the most? The first one is the one about learning and practicing, and then my favorite is the one he talked about Tang Monk’s six disciples. Then these six people, because these six people are so chaotic , I think the design of this section will make the absurdity of this group interview more sufficient and amplified. There is a kind of gentleness to him , a gentle kind of knife, you know, you hear him speak very quietly, but he is very powerful inside , and he is very ruthless. He has talked about all the workplace topics, but he can always come up with new ideas, which is very valuable. Thank you for coming to Luyu . No lights were tapped. Actually, I think you spoke well and I think the plot was dense, but in the end, I had an emotion that I couldn’t get rid of. Why? Because this group interview was particularly absurd. It was the person who set the questions who was absurd, but the absurd individual cases you gave were the people who participated in the group interview. But later I understood why you said that. It was because you wanted to say that all dogs should be divided into different breeds because you have to end it in your way. I don’t want to be an animal , but you have to solve the problem of how my emotions as a listener can be eliminated. Understand this. In fact, I have mentioned this issue before, including when talking with screenwriter teachers and friends. I only raised this difficult scene for me , but I didn’t fight back against him and I didn’t get rid of this emotion. But the actual situation is that I was an animal there for a while, and I didn’t fight back, so I went home and waited for the interview notice . But he still didn’t notify me. This uncomfortable emotion was like that, and I couldn’t get rid of those things , so in the end I actually chose to leave it in. That’s my personal experience. I left it there . Let’s take a look at the number of votes Xiao Hou got after his round of performance. Please see the lights of the Laughter Friends Group, 30 votes , and the final votes are because Because we didn’t reach 290 votes , the spear team is going to start grabbing the microphone now . Countdown, my two little Hous, what’s your choice? Then I’ll choose Wang Ying. I chose Wang Ying . Come on. This actress does n’t like to laugh much, but she can easily hide a knife behind her smile . Applause. Welcome Wang Ying. Hello, everyone. My name is Wang Ying. I’m a love-brained person. I’ve been with my boyfriend for more than four years. In these four years, I’ve never lost my temper. It’s really difficult. I always have a reason to lose my temper. The main reason for my anger is that my boyfriend doesn’t speak very well. We had just been together for a month. One time, he suddenly stared at me for a while and said, “I noticed that you are a little bald and your hairline is a little high.” I was a little angry. I held his hand and said, “I noticed that your lifeline is a little short. ” When he found out that I was angry, he would find an excuse. Usually, it’s just a joke. Why are you still angry ? Listen to it. Is this a joke? This is the truth. He found that joking as an excuse can’t calm my anger, so he would ask, “What do you want? ” Really, every time I hear this question, I get even angrier. What do I want? I want to go back to ten minutes ago when you looked at me. I told you to look at your head. I also want to go back to four years ago when you confessed to me. I told you to get out of here. But if you say it is achievable, I hope you can kneel down and kowtow to me three times. He is also particularly afraid of trouble. We live together now. One time when he was going home, I asked him to go to a place and bring me something, but he came back empty-handed. The first thing he said to me when he saw me was, ” Oh, I forgot.” I asked him if he was bothered and deliberately forgot. He said that it was not the kind of shame for him, but the kind of surprise for him. How did you know ? He just didn’t think that I had exposed him, he thought that I understood that he was afraid of trouble. What I can’t stand the most is that sometimes after a quarrel, I want to review it and not quarrel again and again for the same reason. He thinks that reviewing it is too troublesome. There is nothing in the world that can’t be solved by a witty remark. If there is, it is that this sentence is not witty enough. I am really distressed because of this. Later, when I chatted with a boy, the boy said that he was also particularly afraid of this process. Every time he reviewed with his girlfriend, he thought in his heart that if you can solve this problem by slapping me now, then you can beat me. After hearing this, I really Suddenly I realized that his girlfriend couldn’t solve the problem, but I could. Later, after I had a fight with my boyfriend, I told him that if he really didn’t want to talk about this, I could slap him in the face. My boyfriend thought for a long time and said that I felt that we still had to talk things out. I really scolded him for various reasons. Once he couldn’t stand it and said, “Can we talk nicely if we have something to say ? Stop scolding me all the time. ” I said, “Get it clear that I’m not someone who can talk nicely. I have to scold you. In fact, I want to kill you , but I only scold you . ” I no longer believe in the chicken soup on the Internet, such as getting angry can’t solve problems , it will only create problems. You have to think about what your purpose is. My purpose is to create problems. I also don’t quite understand the previous advice on how to teach girls to fall in love or manage marriages. I really can’t do it. For example, if your boyfriend makes you unhappy outside, don’t be angry. You can pull his sleeve and remind him softly. The only thing I can do to remind him softly is to say , “Am I giving you face?” And the most popular advice is, “If you want to capture a man’s heart, You have to grab his stomach first. What’s the truth in this sentence ? It doesn’t even rhyme. If you really don’t want a man to leave you, what’s the point of grabbing his stomach ? You have to grab his handle. And the most cunning suggestion is that smart women should learn to show weakness in marriage. How can smart women be good in marriage ? What? And based on my observation of the marriages of the previous generation, girls must not show weakness because if girls show weakness, men will take it seriously . He won’t think you are a good person, he will only think I am awesome. This sentence is called this law. Men are like springs. If you are weak, they will go crazy. This kind of rhyming words make sense. And I found that there are very few people who teach boys how to fall in love because boys don’t want to know how to manage a relationship. They only want to know how to pursue girls . In the past, people People always say that it’s all about starting a family and building a career. But for girls, it’s all about starting a family. You’re trapped. Even though starting a family is very important to boys , some of the dating posts I’ve seen online are still outrageous. Many boys even write “I love cleanliness “. What’s so good about loving cleanliness? This is not India. I don’t know if you love cleanliness. It’s true or not. You might as well just write ” I can breathe”. Although I’ve complained so much , there are times when I’ve given more in relationships . I do more housework at home. I can understand my boyfriend because he didn’t have so much housework when he was single. When we first lived together, I asked him to collect the clothes hanging on the balcony. He asked me why I had to collect them. He said you can just pick them up when you wear them. Also, I asked him to throw the dirty clothes in the dirty place. He also asked me why dirty clothes have to go into the laundry basket since they all end up in the washing machine. He really stumped me with his question. I had a feeling that it wasn’t me who discovered housework , it was me who invented housework. Later I thought about how to answer him and said, “That person will end up in an urn, so why buy a house?” He thought about it and said, “That makes sense. I’ll listen to you. We won’t buy a house in the future.” I’ll stop here. Thank you, everyone. Wang Ying’s ticket lock channel was turned on. The point where Teacher Da took the light was very strange. You said that to capture a man’s heart you have to capture his stomach . This sentence doesn’t make sense because it doesn’t rhyme. Teacher Da took the light. He always does it in this weird way. The reason is that there is no reason . If there is a reason , why take this? I just felt that I wanted to take the photo because her moment was because of this sentence. It’s unreasonable. Her joke I am also unreasonable. Double unreasonableness is my reason. You know , I like this kind of unreasonable unreasonableness. But if you think about it, it seems to be right. That energy is very fun. Then I feel that it gives me an impulse. I want to film this. What memories are particularly fun? It is the kind of thing you said that made me angry and happy. There was a man who was listening to the radio. I asked him to lower his voice. He said that his voice was loud and it had nothing to do with me . Then did you calm down after you laughed , or did you beat him up after you laughed? I laughed and beat him at the same time . So I felt that he didn’t owe him anything. He was really saying this . Yes , so this matter is a very funny thing . Yes, I think I am very lucky. I am also very rude. Usually I like Wang Ying’s style. She is calm and weird. Yes, but as you listen, you will find that her sarcasm is actually reasonable. It makes a lot of sense . Thank you . I like Wang Ying’s piece very much. She uses an aesthetic that we can appreciate nowadays . Just like what Teacher Luo said, her good words actually seem to be very sarcastic. But she expressed all of that in a way that we can accept. And I think it shows a very new kind of female attitude. Anyway, I like it very much. I can’t do it myself, but I like this look very much, so I applaud. Thank you. In fact, we have to thank all our talk show hosts for their performances, including the discussion after Wang Ying’s performance just now . When a talk show allows you to use yourself as a reference, that means it is an excellent talk show. Let’s give applause to Wang Ying again. Thank you. At the same time, we would also like to invite Xiao Hou back to the stage. The number of votes given by our laughter friends group should be the same for the two. So after the voting of all the audience friends on the scene is over, the final number of votes for Hou Zhiyuan and Wang Ying is so high . Congratulations to Hou Zhiyuan for successfully advancing to the next round. Wang Ying will continue to wait in the waiting area.