297票！最高票数出现 首秀就是巅峰，自嘲中专学历 爆笑全场 封神表现！|【脱口秀和Ta的朋友们 第二季】 #脱口秀和Ta的朋友们第二季 #Stand-up Comedy2
Xiao Qi is a new actor from Northeast China. He has something to say about his education. Applause, welcome Xiao Qi. Hello, everyone. I am Xiao Qi. I am a technical secondary school student . You can see that our low-education track this year cannot be any lower. The lower it is, the compulsory education. I am a technical secondary school student. I am actually quite frank about my education, because what’s wrong with being a college student ? Aren’t I still outsourcing for others? But I am quite angry that some people have a high education but insist on pretending that they are from a junior college. They say they are from Tsinghua University and say they are from Wudaokou Vocational and Technical College , which leads to when I mentioned my alma mater, Paotai Town Vocational and Technical College, they said , “Actually, I am.” I said, “Actually, I am Tsinghua University , I think there is academic discrimination everywhere, but it’s different in Shanghai. Shanghai’s discrimination is kind and caring. It’s the kind of discrimination that treats you as a fool and you can’t scold him. I went to a party and the organizer said when I got there , “Xiao Qi is here today, let’s not play the script, let’s have barbecue.” I said, “Even if you care about my intelligence, there’s no need to say it in front of everyone. Can you just give others a hint or a wink?” Another time, I was pushing the door backstage and an actor said, ” Sisters, today is too dramatic.” Xiao Qi, drama is dramatic. I said, “I got it (I understand) I am from a technical secondary school. I am not a fool. I feel that they really treat me as a fool. Because when I told others about technical secondary school, their reaction was, “Then you are not like me.” I said, “How can I be like a technical secondary school student ?” I waved my hands while talking. Hello, I am Xiaoqi . Do n’t be too anxious . Really, don’t look down on us technical secondary schools. We produce a lot of useful things , right? Mobile phones, cars, rappers , joking . Rappers, useless and nothing. No (no) , yes, I’m crazy. Technical secondary school students just love to diss (complain). Really, we technical secondary school students are very good. We are very tolerant. Do you understand? Because we can go to school by paying money. The teachers don’t treat us as students, but as the client. They ask us about our needs every day in a humble manner. The most common sentence the teacher said is, ” What on earth do you want to do ? I die, I die, okay? ” She was too tolerant. I was in technical secondary school at that time. I was 14 years old. My deskmate was 21. She went out for two years and came back to technical secondary school. There was a new subject teacher who was 23 and had just graduated from college. She was very nervous in the first class. Hello, classmates , at that moment I felt that my deskmate was more mature than her because I started to comfort the teacher for him, saying, “Don’t be afraid, teacher . We are not bad kids. ” He is indeed not a bad kid. He is called a bad guy , but he also does good things . The teacher was so scared that he went back and passed the postgraduate entrance examination. We can quickly learn knowledge from practice. For example, when I was learning welding, I was given a welding gun and a steel pipe in the first class . I started to do it before the teacher told me the first knowledge point, saying that the most important thing to learn welding is to wear a mask first. I started to touch the mask and said to the teacher that it would be fine if I put on the glasses. I remembered that knowledge point immediately. Even if there is no mask in the future, I will use Meituan Flash Purchase to deliver it in 30 minutes. Masks are such a niche item that you can give away if you want. The teacher taught me welding , but Meituan Flash Purchase gave me light, of course, and money. To be honest, our technical secondary school is very good. I know that there may be doctors and masters today , but if you have the opportunity, you must go to a technical secondary school. If you don’t go to a technical secondary school, your life will be in vain. Because the people in our technical secondary school are so cute, we are the group of people with the best mentality, because going to a technical secondary school means that you have experienced criticism, abuse and insults since childhood , but you still don’t take it to heart . Well , I really had a bad attitude when I went to junior college. When I was a child, my teacher told me what I could do when I grow up. The big tree at the door is better than me. When you heard this, you studied hard the next day. I chopped down trees happily. I found that the higher the education level, the easier it is to be anxious. For example, I have a friend, Lu Bowei, who has a master ‘s degree , but he still says every day that I am just a master’s degree. Can I find a good job ? Do you know what we think about every day in junior college? To be an emperor, I fight against the sky. This is a psychopath. He has seized the throne and become an immortal. Okay, thank you, my junior college alumni friends. You are looking for jobs. We want to be emperors. I have been anxious since I came to the big city because the words spoken online are very bad. I heard that junior college students are ignorant. I couldn’t sleep at night. I wondered if I was really that bad. When I went back to my hometown, I asked my classmates. He didn’t waste his energy at all. I said, you know People always say on the Internet that technical secondary school students are stupid. He said, technical secondary school students are not internally consumed. Friends, technical secondary school students are stupid. But I was inferior to you at the beginning because I found that my academic qualifications were not a strong stepping stone. Many large companies were unwilling to hire us for basic jobs. But until I met an HR (personnel), he told me that they didn’t want you not because you were stupid , but because you didn’t have the spirit of a student. You are prone to being a troublemaker . I asked why college students are so smart and endured the unpaid overtime. He said, “Yes.” I immediately became confident. I know what the spirit of a student is. You haven’t learned to be angry, right? It’s still beautiful. Capital chooses you because you are obedient . Capital doesn’t choose us because we are too powerful and they are afraid of us. So friends, now there is a win-win solution. Capital will bully you again in the future. What about the unpaid overtime regulations? Don’t look for a lawyer first, look for a technical secondary school. We will take our welding guns. Boss, don’t be afraid. We are not bad guys and then weld them. Boss, use your academic qualifications as a stepping stone . It’s too powerful, so there’s no need to worry. Friends, you look up every day. You forgot that 40% of the people in the country are technical secondary school students , but you ignore it . Maybe it’s because we don’t call it technical secondary school in our lives. We call it master in our lives. Thank you everyone , I’m Master Xiaoqi . Thank you, so handsome. Champion , champion , champion, champion, come on, everyone , put your hands together, then separate your hands, take out the button in your hand, and confirm with the OK button to make the votes valid. Xiaoqi locked the votes. Countdown is awesome . Champion, Xiaoqi has no shortage of champions, no shortage of champions, he is already a champion. Is Xiaoqi the welding gun champion this year? He is already the champion in the offline competition of Danliren, and he was signed away by a cunning boss at the fastest speed. The boss is called Great Grandpa, Great Grandpa, there are so many talents, right , and now Xiaoqi is also smiling, the club champion is too handsome, well deserved Come on, come on, everyone . What’s wrong? It ‘s a rare phenomenon. Mr. Luo was the first to clap. We have had many super funny and nonsensical contestants on this stage . He talked like a psychopath , talking about this and that. He kept talking about college students and technical secondary school students . Sorry to offend you. He just talked about alumni. College students have to take exams. It’s all the pride and glory of technical secondary school students and these things. But if you listen carefully, his works are very profound. He is not anti-intellectual at all. He just talks about it from the perspective of human nature. Do you have more constraints after receiving higher education? I am more natural and normal. What? He promotes the advantages of low education and is not anti-intellectual. It’s really him . What is so good about this work? Different angles make people feel relieved. When Xiaoqi was performing, his hair was shaking like a rattle. It was just like the crazy guy holding his hands as socks in Sesame Street. It was
so funny. How did you find yourself on stage like this? And because there was a section in the middle called “Follow My Friends ” which paid tribute to Ms. Wang Dadao, I found it so interesting. He didn’t try to show off in that section. You know, didn’t you want to play the kind of ruffian you were with when you were in school? When you were like this just now A bunch of girls below said, ” You are so handsome. Sisters, please have something delicious. They misunderstood you. They misunderstood you. Especially when you watch talk shows, sometimes you always have to think or something. This feeling is a kind of release on various levels. It is particularly difficult for him. He has a strong text and a strong performance . What do you want? Let me confess to Mr. Luo first. I am a fanatical fan of Mr. Luo. I don’t believe it . I tattooed you on my body. What does it mean? Put it in my belly button and put a Luo Yonghao here. It’s Mr. Luo. It’s me. I have painted his videos with patina because I resonate with him because I also started a business and failed and owed money. I failed to make some money , right? I also failed, but I certainly didn’t owe as much as you do. I am from a small city like you , and you don’t have a high level of education. I remember you just mentioned technical secondary school students and asked what we resonated with. In fact, I was wrong. I dropped out of high school, so my education level should be lower than that of a technical secondary school. You graduated from a technical secondary school, right? I can find a sense of superiority here in a technical secondary school. I didn’t expect it. Thank you, Mr. Luo, I still feel friendly and not offensive. Hai Na Bai Chuan, because it was you who let everyone know that our personality is called aggressive personality, not mental illness , right , so I especially thank Mr. Luo . Hello, thank you Xiaoqi, Xiaoqi, come here, take a rest Let’s take a look at the one who is competing with Xiaoqi. She is also an old friend of everyone. She left a deep impression on everyone last year because she speaks her mind and speaks quickly, which made her stand out. Applause, please welcome Zhang Hui . Hello, everyone. My name is Zhang Hui. After I finished the show last year, I received some jobs that I had never expected. Because on the show, I talked about how I often stopped my colleagues from smoking in the corridor. A tobacco control organization asked me to shoot a tobacco control promotional video. I immediately went to shoot it because I really wanted to express the trouble of being forced to inhale secondhand smoke. It really affects our health , right? And the smell of smoke will stick to clothes and hair and can’t be dispersed. The smell of smoke can easily be marinated. I hope many people can see this film . Later, after it was launched on their video website, the number of views was 52. It is hard to say that it is a tobacco control promotional video. It is more like a private tobacco control work. Later, I thought about it and I really didn’t know who would watch this tobacco control promotional video . Non-smokers don’t need to watch it, and smokers don’t watch it either. Let alone tobacco control promotional videos, some smokers don’t even look at the no-smoking signs (yes). I even doubt whether the burning cigarette butt on the no-smoking sign is a reminder for some people to smoke and it’s time to smoke. Once I was in the corridor I saw a stranger standing under a no-smoking sign smoking. After I stopped him, he asked me where I was from. I said I was from Shanxi, so what? I often stop others from smoking. Some people around me call me smoke alarm. When I go to it, they say stop smoking. Zhang Hui wanted to call it , but it still happened. One time, when I was having dinner with a few colleagues in a private room of a restaurant, someone lit a cigarette. I was very surprised and asked me what’s wrong with you. I was still here. He said I was just testing whether it works and it was pretty good. Then he called a few people to go out and smoke together. The private room was about to be half empty. Someone said you guys just smoke here and let Zhang Hui go out. I was so angry that I almost wanted to lift the roof off the house, but I definitely couldn’t do it , otherwise they would smoke outdoors. I have discovered that many of my friends are difficult to persuade to smoke. Of course, I’m not saying all of them. I think most of the people who are difficult to persuade to smoke have one thing in common: they are men. Do you think I’m going to start scolding men? Yes, I’m not trying to create a gender confrontation . I just want to say that those who smoke indoors in public places are uncultured and self-righteous. The man said that the tax on their cigarettes feeds the country’s aircraft carriers. We cannot fall into their logic. Friends, why don’t they talk about how much the country spends on medical insurance for diseases caused by smoking ? Fortunately, they have a short life span and save a lot. There is also a man who said that his addiction to smoking is too strong and he can’t control it. I don’t understand how men can’t even control their upper bodies. People who can’t laugh after hearing this may already be thinking about how to give my performance a bad review. It is said on the Internet that it is very simple to let men do things . First, issue simple and direct commands so that they know how to execute them. Second , reward them after they execute them. Then can we say that? Put out the cigarette. Who is the good boy who puts out the cigarette? There is a country called Bhutan abroad that is very direct. They have trained police dogs that can smell smoke. As long as there is smoke in the room , the police and police dogs will break into the room directly. Either he lets go of his mouth , and the dog won’t let go either. There is no dissuasion or not, because the dog doesn’t care whether he can understand the no-smoking signs or not. Dogs can’t understand no-smoking signs. Of course, what I want to say is that the essence of opposing second-hand smoke is our maintenance of personal boundaries. Whether they are men or women, I hope they don’t smoke in front of me . Don’t smoke anywhere on the street or stand in the wind to smoke. Every time I have to hold my breath and speed up my pace to pass, I wonder if there are traffic police on the road, can there be no smoking police as well ? Each no-smoking police is equipped with a water gun and will spray water on people who smoke randomly to remind them not to smoke while walking and not to walk while smoking. Shanghai is already controlling this kind of wandering smoking, but the smoking control regulations in many cities across the country are still different. Previously, Xu Jiao stopped a man from smoking in a restaurant in Changsha. The man was very righteous and said that this is Changsha and there are no no-smoking signs and she can’t do anything about him. It sounds reasonable at first. He wants to see the no-smoking signs, right? Then we will take you out in the future and I will take you wherever I go. Some people think that smoking control is only a matter for first-tier cities. I disagree. I think people in any tier of city can stand at the forefront of the smoking ban. So this year I want to talk about this part on the show because our show has been broadcast nationwide with far more than 52 , and I have studied it. Our show will be broadcast in elevators and online ride-hailing cars. These are all difficult places to ban smoking. Since it is difficult for us to dissuade them, then the screens in these places The screen can play a sentence over and over again . Who is the good baby who put out the cigarette? Thank you everyone. I am Zhang Hui. Thank you for Zhang Hui’s countdown to locking the votes. Another round of applause goes to Zhang Hui because Zhang Hui gave me a perspective that I have never thought of in my life. Because last year she said that people with a lot of things are actually us. Sometimes we dislike people with a lot of things, but it is precisely because people with a lot of things help us solve those troublesome things, right? Then, that’s why we can dislike others for having too many things , right? That’s why we have less things to do. I think her perspective gives me some new experiences every time. This time I must take a picture of this light for you. Thank you. The reason I didn’t take a picture of the light is that I think this work can be more fun. You convey your values or your ideas in it. There is nothing wrong with them. They are very good , but the fun level feels a little lacking. So although I like your personality and this theme very much, I didn’t take a picture. I hope you understand . Thank you. Please invite Xiaoqi back to the stage. After the performances of the two of you are over, let’s take a look at Xiaoqi and Zhang Hui . Their final votes are the champion 297 (champion). The champion Xiaoqi has won the highest number of votes so far, so our Xiaoqi with 297 votes, congratulations, you enter the promotion area, Zhang Hui enters the waiting area