姐姐表示22岁的男生可真的是太好了，男生随着年龄增长的一定是变老！|【脱口秀和Ta的朋友们 第二季】 #脱口秀和Ta的朋友们第二季 #Stand-up Comedy2
The first person to perform is Zhou Xinyu. Her performance is relaxed and happy. Applause. Welcome Zhou Xinyu. Hello, everyone. My name is Zhou Xinyu. Thank you. Last year, I fell in love with a younger brother. We are 12 years apart in age . Every time I play this part, the female audience’s reaction is “I want to be like this, too. ” The male audience will only say ” very happy beast . ” He was born in 2002 and I was born in 2014. I mentioned the age mainly to reassure everyone. He is an adult. We met at a dinner party. He is really handsome. To what extent? As soon as I added him on WeChat , I sent his photo to all my sisters. My sister sent it to her sister. Sisters are endless. Maybe some boys will worry about their relationship after hearing this. I was sent out and I didn’t know. Then as we were chatting, I found out that he had just graduated from college. I was shocked at the time . It was so strange that he was going to start eating young grass so soon . I used to put myself in the shoes of the grass when I saw this sentence. I don’t know when I started to put myself in the shoes of the old cow. Maybe it was when I had the financial ability. I really think it’s great to be an old cow. Only when you become an old cow can you discover that the young grass grows up in batches every spring . Two years ago , I had some fantasies about men having to cultivate both inside and outside. Two years ago, I had dinner with a boy born in 2000. I thought it was not right and stupid at that time . Now two years later, I started to eat with a boy born in 2002. Now I think I was really stupid before because I found that men don’t necessarily become more mature as they grow older, but they will definitely become older. So now I have decided to like 22-year -olds. 22 is great. 22 is the best age for a man. Think about it. He has just graduated from college and is still fresh . He has the ability to enter the society and doesn’t have much money. He is at the age that needs help . So I plan to help 22 (years old) this year, 22 (years old) next year , and 22 (years old) the year after. Of course, if he is particularly outstanding, we can also make an exception and consider accepting his aging , right? Gentle and considerate can accept him at 23 (years old) and emotionally stable can accept him. 24 (years old) So from now on, everyone can get a direct comprehensive score of my boyfriend from his age. I not only want to objectify handsome men, I also want to quantify handsome men. But after getting along with this brother for two months , I found that this brother is not simple. He began to lack money. He didn’t lack a lot of money. He didn’t lack the kind of three or five hundred thousand. He just lacked thirty or fifty yuan , which is difficult for you to afford, right? If I don’t give him this little money, he won’t live past 24 (years old). He is still quite simple. He is the kind of person who goes crazy every Thursday. You think it’s a bit cute. He v (posts) every week. He spends 50 yuan a month crazily. 200 yuan a month. It sounds very similar. I applied for a card from him. What do you think other people’s love is? It’s a fate of good or bad. I’m just a distinguished member. Sometimes the 50 yuan on the table is gone. I forgot to turn off the automatic renewal. In the stereotype, sisters always spend a lot of money on their brothers, right? I don’t want to eliminate this misunderstanding now. I usually say to others that it’s just like you imagined. Just give him whatever he wants. You can’t let the child starve to death, right? So you can hear it, right? Dating with me provides food , but it’s a bit difficult to provide accommodation. I’m still traditional. I think men should be raised in poverty . It’s not that he can find me. He’s not even a materialistic boy. He’s just a boy who lacks material things. But I still don’t like mixing money into relationships , so sometimes I would ask a sister of mine . She is the type who doesn’t trust men at all . She always tells me that women shouldn’t spend money on men, and spending money on men will bring bad luck for the rest of their lives. Then she sent his photo to her, and she said it’s okay to spend a little. 200 a month is not a lot. There are several people in their dormitory, but I should say it or not. I will only spend 200 on him at most , no more. It’s not that I don’t have money , but I have a sense of responsibility . I can’t drive up prices. Driving up prices will lead to inflation. Young grass will be spoiled once it swells up , and dare to order large portions of fries. We broke up soon because as my brother got older, his appetite also got bigger. Every day I start to want something to eat, something to wear, something to play with. The reason we broke up was that my backward productivity could not keep up with my brother’s growing material needs. I was going to perform this script until here, but a male actor told me that there was something wrong with your script. You objectified people too much and used them as tools , which would backfire . I thought to myself, now you know how women feel. Sometimes I also sigh and feel that there are no non-materialistic men in this society . I don’t know, so I’m on the show again. Every June is the season for college students to graduate. After all, flowers will bloom again. There are only 6 teenagers in a dormitory. I decided that I would no longer be called Zhou Xinyu. I will call Zhaodi here from now on . Thank you for talking about this. Actually, Xinyu’s last expression is the key to her article . You finally know how we feel. But she put it too last , so many people in the front may still have an unspeakable feeling of being offended. They didn’t dare to laugh at first, and then they felt that it might be too materialistic. In short, when such emotions last too long and you give the last key point , it is impossible to save the atmosphere of the whole scene. Yes, but such expression is too important because this topic can only be discussed by us so that some issues can be made formal. It is not greasy or frivolous to put it on this stage. In fact, when there is a difference in age, the male must be older and the female must be younger. This is an inherent concept of ours. We have been disciplined like this. So I think her statement is very brave. So I feel that I must shoot this light. This is the meaning of the light I wanted to express just now. Thank you, Teacher Lu Yu . First of all, I admire you for talking about this topic . Now there are more and more female talk show hosts who are not afraid of offense and are talking about these things. I am actually very happy. So I think there is nothing wrong with your topic selection, but it is a fact that this topic is riskier. Applause again to Xinyu. Thank you . The one who is going to PK with Xinyu is a newcomer who is coming to this stage for the first time. Applause, welcome Li Wen. Hi, I am Li Wen . I am a student. I am currently a graduate student in chemistry. I am already in my third year of graduate school. I have clearly felt that I am not a material for scientific research. My thesis is written like a joke. There is no argument but only funny points. I showed the thesis to my supervisor. Every time I read it for 3 seconds, I started to make expressions. Every time I saw my thesis, he asked me where I was going to publish this article on QQ space. My supervisor is a very good person . The old professor is very kind. The only problem is that he is a little old. He has a habit of using interrogative sentences when speaking. Whenever he opens his mouth, he will ask himself a question and then answer it himself. He feels that it has nothing to do with you . He has meetings with us every week. The first thing he says at the meeting is, “Students, are you going to do this experiment ? If you do, is it just the experiment? If not, you don’t know why he wants us. No one on the scene will pay attention to him . So what else should he do besides the experiment ? This is the question you have to think about. It’s always like this for a long time, and you will be really confused. I really want to know if he talks like this to the people around him in his daily life, especially my teacher’s wife. For example, when the two of them are in love, the teacher walks up to the teacher’s wife and says, “Hey , let me tell you something. When I first saw you, I thought you were beautiful . I have been very attracted to you during this period of time. So do I like you?” This is a bit vulgar, but it is not ironic to my teacher because we have a very good relationship and are very familiar with each other. We have known each other for three years. There are times when we are not familiar with each other. When we first came , we didn’t have many opportunities to see each other all day long. I especially wanted to show myself in front of him and wanted to lick him. He just gave me a chance and he wanted to open his mouth. My mentor’s car took me from Shanghai to Huzhou, Zhejiang for a business trip. It took two and a half hours to drive. Friends, my mentor and I are both the kind of people who don’t talk much or chat well, so you can imagine that it would be very awkward for two of us to sit in that car for more than two hours . But I didn’t expect that we would be so awkward that we couldn’t find the second sentence after saying the first sentence in the car. After getting in the car, he asked me , “Li Wen, are you seated?” I said, “I am seated,” and he didn’t drive. We were in a stalemate for more than ten or twenty seconds. I said, “What do you mean, I’m not seated?” But he was just a little slow , which made the situation very awkward . But fortunately, because I thought clearly about how I wanted to lick him , I prepared three topics the night before . When we get in the car tomorrow, we will talk about our hometown, age , and family first , and the two and a half hours will pass quickly. After getting in the car, I started to prepare to speak. My mentor’s surname is Zhu, so I called him Teacher Zhu. I said, “Teacher Zhu , where are you from?” Teacher Zhu is very nice. He said, “I’m from Hangzhou.” I said, “I haven’t prepared anything for Hangzhou , but I still told him .” I said that there is West Lake in Hangzhou, and he said to me, “I’ve been to Lingyin Temple and it’s quite spiritual.” He said, “Yes.” It is obvious that Teacher Zhu doesn’t like to talk, but he is also very emotionally intelligent. He could hear that I couldn’t continue, so he took over the conversation. When we got there, he asked me, “Xiao Li, where are you from?” As soon as he started asking me questions, I got a little nervous because I only prepared some questions. I didn’t expect he would ask me more questions. But fortunately, the questions were simple, so I just answered them nicely. I said, “I’m from Chengdu.” He said, ” It’s obvious that he didn’t prepare either . ” I knew we couldn’t talk any more, so we had to move on to the next topic. When we were about to ask him about his age, I asked him, “Teacher Zhu, how old are you now? ” After asking, it felt a little ambiguous. As soon as we got in the car, he asked about my hometown and then my age . I felt like I was trying to pursue him . But Teacher Zhu is a really nice person. He told me I was born in 1963. I said 1 963 is good. 1963 is the year of the rabbit . I was born in 1999 , also the year of the rabbit. Teacher Zhu, we are so predestined. You are 36 years older than me , so you are 71 (years old) this year. Teacher Zhu was driving and he said to me, “Xiao Li is 61 (years old). I was there for a long time to react before I realized it. I said 61 (years old) . It’s true . That’s a long life. After I said these three words, he ignored me. Friends, it’s obvious that you said something wrong. It’s obvious , but you know, I was already very nervous just sitting in that seat. I was even more nervous when I said that to the wrong person. After being too nervous, my mind started to completely mess around. Originally, the next topic was going to be family. I wanted to ask about his wife. But then my mind started to race and I suddenly had an idea. I asked him what if he was already dead. Wouldn’t that be too rude of me? Wouldn’t that be offensive? This thought flashed through my mind in a flash and I said, “Teacher Zhu, are you single now? ” Teacher Zhu fainted and was still driving. He turned around and said, “It’s so awkward. ” The story actually ends here. Some time ago, I asked Teacher Zhu , “Teacher Zhu, I’m going to tell this story on the show. Do you still remember this? In the past three years, every time I talked about this , I was so embarrassed that I dug my toes on the ground. I felt that my performance at the time was really bad and it left a very bad impression on you.” He said, “I have forgotten this matter and it has passed . How should the past be? Forget it. Thank you everyone. That’s all.
I’m Li Wen . Bye, Li Wen. Countdown to locking the tickets. Have you told this story to Teacher Zhu? I haven’t told this joke to Teacher Zhu because I know this joke. Actually, it only lasts six or seven minutes on stage , but offline, this joke is more than 20 minutes in total . I’ve been talking all the time because the ride will be very long , right? The ride will be very long. There are some other things on the bus. Being your teacher is so unlucky. I kept looking at Teacher Zhu through the window. Teacher Zhu said, “How is it? This child hasn’t left yet. I kept remembering it. ” So what do you think of Li Wen’s performance ? It’s very cute , very good. At that time, I was thinking, should we shoot this light? We have to shoot it. Many teachers have this habit. Do you have this habit? I won’t, because I will alert myself. Let me give you an example. I used to do a legal program, and then I was a guest. He especially liked to use idioms when he spoke, but he kept the last word to let you listen to me. So Shaogang ‘s case is shocking. What do you mean by ” Wen “? You can’t answer ” Wen”? You can’t answer “Wen”? This is his speaking habit. What do you mean by “Wen”? His acting is not good either. How about it? This is a manzai. Thank you all, the great teachers. This is a manzai. Is it difficult for you to learn to be silent ? Yes, then let’s learn to be silent first. It ‘s okay. Let ‘s strike from a distance. Come on, let me do it. It’s horrifying. What’s it? It’s totally unpredictable. Horrifying. Three -person manzai. Thank you. Thank you. Three-person manzai. Because I’m a teacher , so I really like Li Wen ‘s observation of the teacher. It ‘s very accurate and meticulous. There is not only one Teacher Zhu in the world. They are all Teacher Zhu. Sometimes I admire this kind of actor . His thing is actually a shitty thing , a shitty thing. Yes, you just talked about the teacher-student relationship, and you are all chicken soup words. I have already pulled it up, and you just pulled it up hard. To me, it feels like a shitty thing, but you captured it very, very accurately , and very meticulously . Then it reminds us of a certain person in our life experience who had that kind of weird habit of speaking. Although it may not be completely corresponding to him , a similar person is very interesting, and then it produces a very strong sense of pleasure and that thing is special Well, actually I want to talk about what you just said because I want to thank an actor in particular , and that actor is also in this episode , Mr. Li Mengjie . Because just like you said , this is a very small thing. When I was writing this paragraph before, many people reminded me or questioned me, saying, “Do you want to continue writing about such a small thing ? What else is there to write about?” Then someone recommended to me a 30-minute long paragraph about “1818 Golden Eyes” posted by Mr. Li Mengjie on the Internet. It is also a small thing, but it is very interesting. He tells it very vividly and interestingly. After reading it, I was very encouraged, and then I continued to say what you have already done. Very good. Let us welcome Xinyu back to Taichung again. Let’s take a look at the votes Zhou Xinyu and Li Wen received respectively . Li Wen 254 votes entered the promotion zone, and Xinyu needs to continue waiting in the pending zone.