果然考研考公的都不是一般人，这精神状态简直疯了！丨《脱口秀和Ta的朋友们 第二季》 STAND-UP COMEDY2
No problem, come on. The first person we want to invite up is the one who, through his performance last year, everyone knows that he took the college entrance examination three times and was admitted to Peking University . We have come to the conclusion that this student is very good at studying and loves exams. Applause, please welcome Xiaoyu from School. Hello everyone, I am Xiaoyu. In the first round, I played against Brother Chuan. I was wondering how we could compete. Meng Chuan, Xiaoyu , Sichuan and Chongqing are one family. Do you still remember me? Last year, I shared the story that I took the college entrance examination three times and finally got admitted to Peking University with a score of 1900. Today, I will talk to you about my recent life. I am studying preventive medicine and I am now in my fifth year. I will soon be preparing to graduate from my undergraduate program. Although my level is average , I still plan to continue my postgraduate studies because my major requires a bachelor’s and master’s degree program. But don’t worry, I am not the type of 4+4. Let me explain to you that generally, only undergraduates majoring in clinical medicine I can only become a doctor. I am not good at preventive medicine. If I want to be a doctor , I can only give up my current medical major and go back to take the fourth college entrance examination. The total score must be 2500 points to have a chance to become a doctor. That is to say, I have to give up medicine and practice medicine . My major is 5+2 , which means I am now in my fifth year. I can go to the supervisor for an interview and both sides agree to continue my postgraduate studies. I sent emails to many teachers at that time. I did not change the content but only the address. It was very efficient, but my level was average. Many teachers rejected me. Only one teacher named Wang did not reply to me. I still had a glimmer of hope, so I sent him another very sincere email. He also replied very sincerely. He said thank you, Xiaoyu, and both emails were received. But I am Teacher Li. I thought to myself, it’s over. I will not become a graduate student without a supervisor. Then I will be a supervisorless student in the future . No (no) What? That’s all . Thank you all. A round of applause for Xiaoyu who is very good at studying. Xiaoyu 0 lights? 0 lights. It is indeed quite hurt , but it is indeed very bad. First of all, the script itself is not good. On the other hand, there were some changes the night before the performance , which were not well-prepared , which led to slips in speech . After that, it became more and more broken. It was expected, but it was a little worse than expected. Xiaoyu went to the rest area . Everyone is familiar with the friend who wanted to PK with Xiaoyu. Although he has never taken the civil service exam , don’t forget that he has Shandong blood in his bones , so he often has new moves . Applause, welcome Meng Chuan. Hello, everyone. I am Meng Chuan, from Shandong e (extrovert). I am the only chief screenwriter participating in the program this year. After all, other chief screenwriters don’t have any family. Sometimes I revise the script with Brother Cheng, and I see him happy, and I want to give him more. Find a home . This year I took my whole family to Thailand for the Chinese New Year. There was a kidnapping case there at the time , but when I saw that the air tickets and hotels were too cheap, I thought I would just go. Anyway, my family would be together and we could take care of each other when we arrived at the park. I said hello to these friends and they said it was very dangerous there and you would be kidnapped to northern Myanmar as soon as you get off the plane and they would demand a high ransom. So you put the money first. It felt like we had already met northern Myanmar before we even got to Thailand. My dad was particularly afraid of going to Thailand and he was not used to the food. He brought 3 kilograms of donkey meat and 15 pieces of donkey meat. The fire burned on the plane. People on the broadcast said that meat products could not be imported. I was sleeping when my dad woke me up. My dad asked me, “Son, is the Thai customs strict? ” I was scared and said, “Dad , what are you smuggling? ” My dad said, “It’s in your bag.” I said I threw it away . My dad didn’t want to waste it. I was forced to give me 3 donkey meat hotpots, but I brought too much. I saw my dad giving donkey meat hotpots to the stewardess on the plane, but the stewardess was very considerate and refused my dad’s donkey meat hotpot. My dad was walking forward when the stewardess stopped him and said that the captain didn’t eat donkey meat hotpot either. Fortunately, the key point was that the donkey meat was a whole piece. I saw my dad stand up from his seat and ask very politely , “Excuse me, who has a knife ?” There was a very enthusiastic passenger who was talking about the Thai baht instead of the dollar over there. It was a very broken thing, but it was still amazing. No matter what he said, he didn’t throw it away. This man eats too much donkey meat. He is really stubborn. I’m afraid. I’ve seen the anti-smuggling in movies and TV shows. If you bring donkey meat hotpots, I can smell it without a dog. If something really happens , it will definitely be on the hot search, talking about the talk show actor I was arrested for smuggling donkey meat and hotpot. Netizens commented that they had never seen such a greedy bad artist. Then my father persuaded me, saying, son, you still have to walk for a while after getting off the plane, and you will definitely be hungry. So I ate while walking after getting off the plane, and by the way, I was browsing the social media and saw a repo (comment) saying that they saw me in Thailand but didn’t say hello to me because they thought I was difficult to deal with. I looked so arrogant and I couldn’t explain to them that I was just bored. I also told my father , “Dad, I am a niche figure after all, and it would be bad if someone took a picture of me.” My father said, “Then I’ll find you a place to eat. You can eat under that sign over there. You see, the sign says no photography. I think this method is worth promoting. In the future, if the top stars in the entertainment industry are afraid of being photographed , they can talk under that sign.” The most uncomfortable thing was that after passing the customs, my father suddenly said to me, ” Son , people don’t allow meat products to enter the country, so can we just eat the meat in the fire ?” At that time, I felt that my father was no longer an ordinary old Deng. His name was Kong Ming Deng . This incident also made me feel that Shandong people have enough wisdom to deal with customs , and should be able to deal with tariff wars. I even think that Shandong people should have a longer-term vision and not just focus on the domestic establishment. How can we not pass the civil service exam worse than Americans? By then, the ancestral home of the people in the positions will be Shandong. TOEFL and IELTS will be abolished within 50 years. Shandong will have a US president within 200 years. Just think about the American dream . When you wake up and find that it was Confucius and Mencius , it is very likely that the presidential election will be a yellow race. Even people may be my descendants. Once he takes office , I have a dream. Shandong people will definitely vote for him. Moreover, he helped you with such an important matter as the presidential election. So what if I ask you to do something for me in the future? If nothing happens, call him. Hello, Johnson . Come sit down with me when you are free. I brought you some green onions from my hometown. They were grown by my family. It didn’t cost much. As for the project of replacing the Statue of Liberty with Confucius, I think we should vigorously promote “The Analects of Confucius” . This is not called cultural invasion. This is cultural going to the countryside. All countries are country. There is no need to say more. There is a saying that it is a great pleasure to have friends coming from afar . There will be no war in this world. Who said that when the enemy comes, we can only defeat them. We can drink them down. When the time comes, two presidents will sit at the same table , clink their glasses, and one will say “Drink”. first (drink first) Respect (respect) drink first as a toast. Another president said, All things in the wine (all in the wine), all in the wine. Globalization is no longer working, so let’s just try to Shandongize the United States, America, Lu A, Britain, Lu B, Canada, Lu C. After this world is at peace , let’s solve the ultimate problem of the world , such as the opposition between men and women. Let’s redraw the map of the earth, redraw it into a male hemisphere and a female hemisphere , and not divide it roughly into two. Our ancestors taught us yin and yang . At that time, the dividing line will be used to put those two points where they want to fall in love, men and women. Xiaoyu can meet the strongest opponent every year. Does it take such a cruel knife to kill Xiaoyu? I think the world’s great harmony is in Shandong, and Datong is not even in Shanxi. This person has gone crazy. I hope everyone can receive text messages as soon as they get off the plane anywhere in the world . Welcome to a certain hospitable country. Thank you for saying so much.
I am Mengchuan . Come on , everyone, hurry up and vote for Mengchuan (full votes). Hurry up (Mengchuan) (Champion) The best in the first episode. That’s it. I think he’s pretty good. I’m from Datong, Shandong. (Champion) Don’t just talk, don’t just talk , move your hands, don’t just shout to vote, and forget to come. The countdown for Meng Chuan’s vote lock has begun. Applause again for Meng Chuan, Meng Chuan , what ‘s wrong with you? Are you from Shandong? This time the action was a bit too big , yes, it was really amazing. I think Meng Chuan is too strong. You may not know how strong he is . I didn’t realize it just now . Later, I looked back and thought that he was actually taking us . Wherever he pointed, we looked . So we forgot that he started to take us to Thailand, but we didn’t even enter Thailand. We only stopped at the customs and then turned to Shandong . Yes , with his extraordinary screenwriting ability and his great stage performance ability, he made us completely forget what we were going to do. I think the immediacy of all talk shows is very good, even if it’s just a taste . This is the skill , yes, very good OK, Meng Chuan has gone crazy. Later, even Tianxia Datong must be from Shandong. When you wrote this, was your mind so excited that you were already crazy? Maybe when you were writing the jokes, you weren’t so crazy at the beginning , but you kept piling up until you reached that state. I can feel the excitement when he wrote to this point later. Especially on our stage, there are rarely such crazy talk shows. I have a dream that Shandong will produce an American president. I have a dream that Tianxia Datong is in Shandong. I have a dream that the Statue of Liberty will replace Confucius. That project is all in the wine. Xiaoyu returned to Taichung. Let’s take a look at the votes given by the Laughter Friends Group . Meng Chuan is ahead by a large margin. After all the audience voted , Xiaoyu and Meng Chuan had the following votes. Meng Chuan received 291 votes and successfully advanced.