【FULL】潘金莲”秘史”隔壁老王上位? 叶祖新嘴炮技能MAX | 欢脱定律 | iQIYI潮综艺
One’s character is good. One’s character is good. One’s character is good. One’s character is good. One’s character is good. One’s character is good. One’s character is good. We are similar in nature and we learn from each other. The way of teaching is to be dedicated. Ladies and gentlemen. Hello. I’m the mayor of Huanran City, Yuchi. The most handsome friend I’m Joe Ye Everyone knows The fine dust particles outside exploded. And I can’t see clearly. The mayor has a bad eyesight. He’s walking. He shouted out loud from afar. Beauty It’s just a skinned one. an old lady. He was so excited. He even reached out his hand gentlely. I didn’t expect that the old lady in front of him. He still doesn’t want to get up The mayor was worried and called me. He begged me to endorse him. But I think this is probably his most regretful decision. Why? Because in the future, on this stage. He’s not as handsome as me. The old ladies outside are so fierce. but the old ladies at home are not easy to deal with. She’s alone in a foreign land. Every festival, I was forced to get married. I dance on time every day. I’m forced to wear long johns every year. Actually, I think I did a good job. Well, I’ll treat all the women I’ll be good to them. As long as they like something, I will try my best to satisfy them. Just like my mom likes comedy recently. So I leaned on her. Please forgive me. Thank you. I think at this time, I should go back to wear long johns. Or my mom will come and beat me up. See you later, okay? Thank you. Everything in the world is hard to tell. It doesn’t affect your life. In terms of destroying the country, is a playboy. Thank you. for saying such a poem. I’ll tell you a story today. Not now. When? In the end of the Northern Song Dynasty, will be built on Mount Liang. The story today has nothing to do with Liang Shan. If you insist there is, there is a little. Who is it? It’s 100 generals. who ranks 14th. The Walker, Wu Song. Let’s go. Okay. Alas. If you hit the bamboo board like this Let’s not talk about other things. Let’s talk about Wu Song’s eldest brother. His name is Wu Dalang. He’s fat and frustrated. I’ll sell the buns during the day and drink at night. It’s a big deal. You even have to gamble. You were stuck in the traffic last night. You lost a lot. Come home in the morning. I didn’t dare to enter the bed. A useless Wu Dalang and a beautiful wife. Her name is Pan Jinlian. She can do needlework. If you describe Pan Jinlian, I have a lot of words. It’s like a falling fish. The moon is shameful. and elegant. A lady from a noble family. Her makeup is good. Beautiful and intelligent. The deity descends to the mortal world and is beautiful. It’s here It’s a mess. Oh no. Okay. Okay, I can’t come. Let’s get started. Okay, the one who plays the string is leaving. Stop! What are you doing? Come here. I need to talk to you. Okay. Let me ask you. Where did you go last night? Did you gamble again? No. I drank with Wang next door until dawn. Bullshit! “Look, look, look.” “Look, look, look, look, look, look, look.” “Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look.” 342988. It’s the 129 generation information. Don’t do that again. It’s the 129 generation. Don’t do that again. Don’t drink too much. Okay. Okay. Crispy pear. It’s crispy. It’s crispy. Crispy pears. Crispy pear. Crispy pear. Crispy pears. Steamed buns. Are you done? Give me some more. What are you doing? I’m going to buy a Blue Dragon Blue Moon Hairpin Crispy pears into eggplant for him Oh. Stop pouring water on your face. Be careful. Steamed buns. How can I marry such a man? Don’t waste time on music. Why is it windy What’s that sound? Whatever, keep going. Jinlian! Granny Wang, why are you here? Look. It’s fine if you come. Why did you bring me a gift? I’m not short of men. What man? Jinlian. Your pot fell into his head. Ah, the pot fell. My goodness. It hurts so much. Sir, are you okay? “It’s like this. It’s like this.” No matter who he is, I must kill him today. Look! Get out of my way! Look at you. You’re so pretty. why do you want to hit me with a pot? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. It’s okay. Hold on. You, come here. Why didn’t I know on this street? You mean… Cut the crap. Hit you to death! Jinlian, You’re too careless. You’re in trouble. Look how you smashed her head. It’s okay. Do you know who he is? I’m Simon Qing. This is Mr Ximen. Tell me, what should I do? Pay me. Pay me. Pay me? Jinlian Mr Ximen How can you compensate him How? I’ll pay for it. Okay, I’ll do as you say. Stay with me. Okay, you two stay here. Granny Wang, don’t go. I don’t think it’s appropriate. This is my first time here. What are you doing? What if a man comes back? Ouch Oh my God Oh my god My head was smashed by your pot. I think it’s like Bling Bling. I can’t stand it. I’m really sorry, sir. Let me see if your head is okay. Yes, you have to take a look. Like this. Like this. Look at you I’m just kidding. I’m telling you, my head is stiff. I’ve practiced Iron Head Skill before. You know? You’re really brave, Mr. Simon He must not be an ordinary person. May I know your position? I don’t have any official position. When I’m free, Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look Green? Yes. I don’t know what green is. Follow me. Look. The whole street has been green by me. It’s oily. Only your family is spared. May I know your name? Who is your husband? I’m Pan Jinlian. My husband is Wu Dalang who sells steamed buns. What’s wrong? Nothing. I just want to express my strange feelings. How can you marry him? Marry me! You! Marry me. ♪Be together♪ I barely agreed. You have no idea. I was sold to Wu Dalang. Actually, we don’t have any feelings. Neither do we. What? Do you mind if I cheat on him? I’ll do it too. Jinlian. Speaking of cheating your husband, I can’t bear it. After all, the steamed buns he made It’s good. It’s good. It’s good. It’s good. What’s good? You don’t know. When he’s drinking, he’s always busy. When he’s drunk, he’ll be fine. He’ll be fine. He always beats me up. I’m all alone It’s okay. I’ll hit you from now on. I love you, baby. Come on, come on, come on Mr. Simon, don’t do this. Don’t do this. Oh. Hey! What’s wrong? My hand was pulled by a scissor. You were pulled by a scissor Let me see Don’t be so careless. It’s okay I’m not scared Just kidding Rub your ass Mr. Simon, what are you doing? I cut my hand. What are you talking about? I’m sorry. Come on Rub your hands Rub hands Do you like it? Sir, you scared me. Interesting. I like romance. You like romance, right? Look at this. What are you doing? Jinlian, look. From now on, we’re a couple. So romantic. What is this? A friend of mine taught me this to woo girls. How is your buddy now? He’ll die of tetanus. Oh, my. Let’s wrap it up I don’t need it. Why should I? Jinlian, I’m lucky to die with you. Mr. Simon still can’t do it. Why not? I don’t understand. You can’t be together Why can’t they be together? We’ll love each other forever. Why can’t we be together? and grow old together? Why can’t we be together? forever? I’m married. If the neighbors know it, you’ll be criticized. Let me show you. Ask Wu Dalang to write a divorce letter. I’ll marry you after divorcing you. He won’t write it. Why can’t he write it? Didn’t I tell you? he would never write it. He can’t read. He’s uneducated. So scary. How about this? Then you can live for the rest of your life. What if What if it’s a widow? How to mourn a widow It’s cold these days. He would drink some wine and eat side dishes when he got home. We poisoned him here. Poison? How? Don’t worry. I’ve prepared the poison. Honey, I’m back. Eldest. Look at me. Why are you back so early today? Who is it? Come on. Are we going to fight? Who is it? Mr Ximen No war? Wu Da is back. I’m fixing your bed. Mr. Simon is here. I don’t know why. Mr. Simon is here to do green work. Yes, show your love. I don’t understand what you’re busy with. Why do you want to fight? It’s okay. Sit here. Sit here Sit here. Let’s go. Let’s go. If you don’t mind, let’s have a drink here. Come on. You’re welcome. Thank you. Great. Let’s drink. Okay. Dalang sells steamed buns. It’s so pitiful and hard That’s right It’s so cold I feel shivering without drinking. Yes It’s cold. It’s good. It’s good. It’s good. It’s good. It’s good What benefits? It works. It works. Why? It’s freezing. I like this one. I didn’t see that. He’s not tall and talented. I’m counting on these jokes Here’s the wine. Okay. Let’s drink. What are you doing? Ah. Is something wrong? No, I just said Are we going to drink without vegetables? Not yet. Sir, how many dishes do you want to cook? Okay. Let’s drink. Thank you. More. Almost done. Okay. Eldest. Sorry to bother you so late. You drink first. To me. Wait, you are the guest here. Drink first Drink first. Drink it first. How about this? Let’s drink. Let’s drink. Let’s play the drinking game. This is too vulgar. In my opinion, Let’s… Draw your lips. Not really. Why is it only you? Do you know It’s a slap. Draw your mouth No, Mr. Simon. This is too strong. I can’t stand this slap. Let’s go somewhere else. Let’s go somewhere else. Okay. How about whipping legs? What do you mean? Stand up. The whip leg is when you stand properly. I’ll stand next to you and then I… kick you. Got it? Let’s start. Give me a kick. Let me try. Can I stand it? Okay, ready. Come on. It’s your turn. I see. I can’t stand it. I give up. I’ll drink. Come on. Come on. It’s here. It’s here. Here comes the food. The dishes are here. Let me eat some vegetables. What’s wrong with him? He’s so busy. What? He’s dead. He’s dead. He’s dead. You can’t eat it. You can’t eat it. Why can’t I eat vegetables? The dish is poisonous. What poison? Are you kidding me? The poison is in the wine. I didn’t poison the wine. How did he die? He was drunk with one cup. What? One cup. You really put the poison in the dish? Yes. Mr Ximen Pan Jinlian. Are you trying to kill me? No, I didn’t. Let me tell you. What did you say? Didn’t you say he would drink wine every day? Let’s poison him here. I mean he comes back for a drink every day. and some side dishes. We put poison here. How can you cut the line like that? You two are really a couple. It’s scary to be uneducated. Mr Ximen Oh my god! Eldest, Eldest, wake up. Wake up! Something happened! Wang, come out! Murder! The bamboo board Jinlian, I’m here. My legs are numb after squatting all night. When I look down, Jinlian killed someone! Please be my witness. I didn’t do anything. Let’s end it. Jinlian killed someone. Don’t talk nonsense. I didn’t kill anyone. Come back! Murder! Murder! Thank you, everyone. This is a little different from the other ones. It’s because we have a lot of sound effects And it’s very exciting. Let’s applaud to the stage, OK? Thank you. Hey. What happened to your hand? I asked your sister-in-law last night. But today, the sound effect today? You can’t do it. You can’t do it. You can do it. Okay. How about this? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I’ll put my foot here. Okay? Like this. Like this. I don’t think so. Come on. That actor. Be careful. Listen carefully, actor. If if anything goes wrong with the sound effect, we have to adapt to it. Make sure the performance starts. Honey. Why did you go to the bathroom for so long? It’s the first time meet each other for the first time. I’m a little nervous. Waiter, please order. Hello menu Thank you. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on Honey, you do it. Let me see your signature dish. Okay. It’s here. It’s here. Oh, really? It’s here. Another mosquito. Forget it. We’ll have each signature dish. Okay. Honey, where’s my dad? has been a policeman for his whole life. He may be serious and conservative. But don’t worry. He’s very reasonable. So don’t be nervous. By the way, why isn’t your dad here yet? He should be here soon. Dad. I’m sorry. The spring door. Excuse me. Two doors. Excuse me. Three gates It’s here. It’s here. Dad. I’m sorry. Dad Where am I going? I’m here, I’m not afraid of anything. Dad, where have you been? I’ve been a police officer for so many years. Occupational disease. See if other rooms are safe. Oh. Okay. Dad, let me introduce. This is my dad. Hello, uncle. Dad, this is my boyfriend. Okay. Uncle, don’t worry. I really love Ran. I will never let her be bullied. Come here. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on Come out It’s a misunderstanding. It’s not my fault You are like this It’s not you You should’ve done this to her. You should’ve done this to her. You should do this to her. Dad, let’s sit down and talk. Alas. That’s true. You should learn from your dad. I’ll try. Why isn’t your dad here yet? My dad… My dad should be here soon. Hello. Hello. Hi. Your dad was born in the year of the donkey. Hello. Hello. Hi. It’s you, Detective Go. Dad, you know each other? We’ve known each other for 30 years. Right? Who’s your old friend? Detective Go. Let bygones be bygones. You can. I can’t. Come on. Fine. Right? But do you remember this? I arrested you for robbery 20 years ago. How did you leave me this scar? It’s like this. I bit you. It’s like this. It’s like this. Even if you bite me, let’s not talk about it. How did this scar leave 15 years ago? What are you doing? I did it. The scar you gave me It’s been 15 years. I’ll let it go. The scar on my butt ten years ago… It’s okay. Detective Go, it’s okay. Don’t you think talk about our children today? You need to be careful. Put your butt aside. Come on. Come on. Have a seat. Hey. Well… Today is an important day. We should all be happy, right? Come on. Yes. Uncle, let me pour you a cup of tea. Okay, be sensible. Thank you. Dad, let me pour you a drink too. Is that enough? See? This is his daughter. He wants his dad to drink more. But my daughter, Can you not pour water next time? Detective Go is different. You’re so generous when you drink tea. We ordinary people drink slowly It’s hot. Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look when you drink water. Let me put it this way. I don’t agree with I don’t agree, daughter. Let’s go. Dad, let me tell you the truth. I’m actually breathing. Yes. I can smell it from the screen. It feels good. Ran, what’s wrong with you? How can we eat like this? Right? Ah, you… It’s much better Son Wake up. Sir, your soup. Are you feeling better? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. What about Detective Go? I’ve been a cop all my life. I haven’t eaten anything good. Their soup tastes good. Try it. Your soup is dirty. Let me see how dirty it is. It’s none of your business. It’s fine as long as my son isn’t dirty. Right. It’s not dirty. You two are really dirty. Let me put it this way. As long as I’m alive, I disagree with this marriage. Whatever. I think I spoiled you today. I don’t agree, son. Let’s go. I’m not leaving. Teach my son a lesson I’m teaching my son [I’m going to teach him a lesson.] Okay. Hello? Come here! Come here! I only come back once in three years. Are you going to hold a party for me? No. Money. It’s a big business. Are you talking about money? Are you still my brother? Okay, stop talking to me. Stop talking to me. Bye. Bye. Bye. Right. Two jeans, right? Okay, I’ll get it right away. I’ll be there in two or three minutes. Okay, okay, bye. Come in. Here you are. Here you are. Butler. What’s wrong, Young Master? I’ll pack my clothes for the banquet tonight. Okay. Which one is it? It’s the right one. The second one on the right. No. If you wear this, you’ll be shocked. I’m going to wear this. It’s too bright, isn’t it? Didn’t you say the second one on the right? I said the second one on my right. Don’t touch it. Don’t touch it. The second one here. This is for you. This is for you. Here you go. Here you go. About 40. Put it in my pocket. Wait. What’s wrong, Young Master? Butler, did you for me? Yes, is there a problem? What’s the problem? How can you wash this? It needs to be dry-cleaned. I’ll buy you one right away. right away. Butler, you look old Do you know how much this is? This is the only one in the city. 70 yuan off. It’s 13,000 yuan You said you would wash it for me. I’m really sorry. Don’t be shy. It’s just a dress. You’re fired. I need money. Here’s the money. Put it in my pocket. 40, right? I’m sorry. I’m in a hurry. Yes. You Yongfu. What are you doing? Open your eyes and see. As the second son of You’s Group, got on the news because he was drunk. Do you know how much the company lost this time? How much did you lose? Who are you? I’m here to give him clothes. He owes me 40 yuan for the clothes. I’m in a hurry. Can you give me the money first? Is this all you’ve got? You don’t even have 40 yuan on you. Our family is rich. It’s just 40 yuan. You made a fool of an outsider. It’s 40 yuan. I’ll pay for you. Young man. I’m really sorry. It’s okay. We’ve wasted so much time. It’s okay. How about this? I’ll give you 100 yuan. Thank you. I’m 60. Stop pretending. You can’t take his money. I’ll give it to you. I’ll tell everyone. Here you go. Take it. You can’t take money from someone like you. I’ll pay. What kind of person I am? That’s who you are. What kind of person are you? You’re like this. What are you doing? Well, since you’ve said it, I won’t give you the money. Give it to me. What are you doing? Give it to me. Give it to me. Me neither. Why should I? Give it to me. Stop. One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three, three. One, two, three, three, three. One, two, three, three, three. One, three, three, three, three, three. One, three, three, three, three, three, three. One, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three. One, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three. You two pay 20 each. Who are you scolding? In such a fancy house, you let me and my brother Because it’s 40 yuan A system. Cut 20 yuan. You Yongyi and Yong Fu What are you arguing about? You Yongfu. You are drinking and making trouble outside. Isn’t that enough? Go home and make a scene. Kneel down. I have something to say. Kneel! Everyone kneel down Dad is old now and he’s not in good health. I decided to retire early and retire at home. So today, ask you what your wishes are. What is it? I will satisfy you before I retire. Tell me. I want those companies. and your 50 cars. I don’t need anything else. Okay. Dad. I want 13 properties of our house. and your 100 gold watch. I don’t want anything else. Okay. I want 40 yuan. I don’t want anything else. I can’t use it even if you give it to me. You tell me Who are you? Why are you here? Ah, you went to someone else’s house to divide the property. You’re so smart. You misunderstood me. Listen to me first. I’m here to deliver clothes to your family. Just 40 yuan. I can’t walk out. Can you give me the money first? I’m in a hurry. What are you talking about? What did he say? He owes 40 yuan. In a family like us, won’t it make people laugh? And you have You Yongfu. You are so tall. I can’t give you 40 yuan. I’ll pay for you. Look at this. Look at this. You can’t help up the wall I took a shower outside I took a shower outside. I bought the change tickets. You Yongyi, you pay. Here, the flight ticket. You’ve been drinking and making trouble lately. and caused trouble. Go abroad and hide. You want me to leave right after I just came back? Go abroad. You can go by yourself. You’re being cheeky, aren’t you? What are you doing? Of course. Try it on me. Try harder! Stop! Stop! You’re getting better, aren’t you? You know you’re fighting in front of your dad Go back to your room No way. What’s going on? What happened? Are you taking advantage of me? Let’s rock the backyard, okay? Are you done? Get down. Let’s go. You’re no match for me. Don’t you feel ashamed? It’s okay, young man. How much does he owe you? I don’t have money. I don’t have money. I don’t have money. I’ll pay for it. I’ll pay for it. I’ll pay for it. You’ll see. You’ll see. Just use this card. No, no, no. Don’t go, young man. Let me check first. No need to check You need to check it now. It’s safer. Hurry up Hello, Mr. Can’t swim. You chose to transfer the money. The amount is… Look at this. Look at this. Here you go. Here you go. Three billion. 5.7 billion. 4,000. Three million. RMB690,000. RMB690,000. RMB690,000. RMB690,000. RMB690,000. RMB300,000. RMB690,000. Two thousand. 975 yuan. Okay, you can turn now. It’s like this. How much did I pay you? How many times have I told you? 40, 40, 40. Don’t worry. One, two, three, four. Your operation is over time. Please input again. One more time. Come on. Thank you. You taught me a good man Not only can he accept the criticism of his mother, but also your wife’s complaints. You don’t have to eat But you have to wash the dishes My parents are bored. They force you to get married because they’re worried you won’t have good luck with peach blossoms. How about this? Let me teach you a way. to persuade your parents to have a second child. Then you’ll be free. Okay, don’t think too much. After all, you have to find a girlfriend first. What are you waiting for? Come to Huanran City to find a boyfriend. Thank you. Come on. Come on. See you again.